Does anybody here wants to ctb due to their looks?

[Bootleg Astolfo]

People constantly thinking i'm a girl or trans (and acting exactly as nicely as you'd expect them to lol) thanks to my femboy appearance isn't the main reason i want to combat log from life , but it sure is contributing to it.

 

[mathieu]

At the moment I don't really care what I look like because I know that even if I was a supermodel I would still want to CTB.

 

[zettatron]

I'm trans so, in a way I suppose. Yes.

 

[ihatemylife]

I read somewhere that ugly people usually get happier with age and good looking people get more depressed. Ibeing good looking is a very powerful feeling and to lose that with age is really not fun. When I was younger I got so much special treatment due to my looks, jobs, attention, guys, etc Seeing men tripping over words just talking to you Walking into a room and all heads turn to look at you. Its an extremely powerful feeling. So losing that is very hard but it also makes you realize how truly shallow people are. Once your looks fade you are treated so differently. Like you dont even exist.

 

[NormaJeane]

It must be terrible to be young and unattractive in this appearance-fixed world, but all people will be ugly when we are old, time destroys everything.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Looks are a factor. However I'm now noticing my social skills and personality is completely shit! And has been for a while. I always thought it was looks, yes they are very important because if I didn't have severe acne I wouldn't have been a target for bullies in middle school and high school. However my brain is shit! And my personality is shit and social skills. I am so boring and suck at conversation and I hate myself for it even more. I can't ever begin a conversation, I wait for others to talk to me. I can't read social cues and people's body language. I suck all around and I'm even more screwed now after alcohol abuse and anti depressants for years that damaged my brain more, plus the bullying traumas, anxiety.


I didn't know how important social skills were until now. Just at 28 I'm relaxing how important it is. I'm also not a fast learner because if I was I would have asked for help earlier on to fix my social skills and social anxiety. Maybe I'd be more at ease with chatting with people. I really suck socially like really badly. Nervous laughter, cringe face expressions, uttering small words here and there like "yeah," and "oh okay" and "mhmm" is all I can respond with. My brain doesn't process and ask people questions. I really suck and it's making me feel worse on how important this was, I was so stressed about my looks. I also am incredibly negative and see the ugly in everything and expect the worse in everyone and expect to be attacked by people I sabotage what the universe brings me and ruins it because of my own brain. Bullying really messed me up and acne destroyed my self esteem and social confidence now I ruined my blessings in my 20s and I won't make it. I want to be sociable and neurotypical and friendly and upbeat.

I envy that beautiful energy they have, to move about people socially and be so comfortable not stressed withdrawn and worried in the mind. I don't think I felt that since 13. I need to die I'm a hollow shell and in this world but no longer of it completely detached and disconnected. I can't ever go back and feel my emotions and authentic self it's broken and covered in so much traumas my youth was robbed and my social self.

 

[finalexit]

As hair loss gets worse and more difficult to hide, it's definitely been a big contributor to anxiety and suicidal thoughts. But it's not the only reason I want to ctb. There are so many things that make existing hell

 

[Sans]

Not entirely because of looks, but it's a big part. Being disabled and autistic does not help. Lack of compensation for said disability does also not help.

The system is beyond rigged. Barring some miracle, there is no way for someone like me to succeed in modern-day America.

 

[Robin]

WWenN ihr ctb machen wollt wegen eurem aussehen oder weil ihr kaum freunde habt dann kann man da was machen ZUSAMMENHALTEN denkt dran der Charakter macht menschen perfekt Liebe euch alle wie ihr seid

 

[marinekiwi]

I am considered attractive by most people.

No, being "attractive" does not make life any easier. If anything, makes bad people deceive you in horrible ways to get to your body.

I'm so tired of being the objective of the most sociopathic, narcissistic fucks. That's why I tend to be alone most of the time. Can't really stand people anymore. They robbed me of my life. They hurt me so much.

 

[8evergo]

will take a bad thing and always shave myself good-looking, even in death

 

[finallyicanendit]

Yes, I can relate. I am very unattractive and have a lot of dental issues and that's partly a reason for my exit, among other things.

im sorry you're feeling this way too.

these are my reasons for ctb as well lol

 

[Rational man]

People constantly thinking i'm a girl or trans (and acting exactly as nicely as you'd expect them to lol) thanks to my femboy appearance isn't the main reason i want to combat log from life , but it sure is contributing to it.

its interesting. Ive known some really good looking guys ctb and yet perceived ugly people grow old. I think physical looks is just the perception of self. How others perceive our looks.....who gives a shit !

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that I am horrible looking. I look ill and pale. No amount of makeup would be able to hide it. I try to avoid mirrors as much as possible. However it is not really my reason for ctb. My reason is that I want nothing to do with life. Life is suffering. Nothing would ever make me want to live. If I was physically beautiful I would still want to die. In a way it would feel wrong if I did not look so horrible. My ugliness matches how I feel on the inside.

 

[Ch92921]

Yes, its the reason for lonliness

 

[NormaJeane]

I never wanted to be old and ugly, the worst thing that can happen to a person. It is OK to commit suicide before we will be old and disabled - many people have done that.

 

[ascetic_]

Yes. Not entirely because of that, but looks are a big part of it.

It's crazy because you know how there's people who "glow-up" from being an ugly kid? Well I was a really pretty kid, and became hideous as I got older.

 

[Konjac]

It doesn't help, I'm not attractive but not particularly ugly. That means that people don't want much to do with me as a serious thing but don't have a problem with using my ridiculous people-pleasing tendencies and/or my body to get what they want in life. It makes me want to just waste away so they'll leave me alone, but despite being 87lbs as an adult fucking man I still despise myself. It's less about what I see in the mirror, although that disgusts me, but more about how miserable I am. Whether I eat or don't eat, gain or lose weight, my mental health's always going to be a mess and I'll never be truly loved by anyone. Sometimes I consider just keeping up with it until I starve to death... that way it'll come as less of a shock to family, at least.

 

[iridescent.darkness]

one of the reasons. As someone born with facial disfigurement, I will never be attractive. I've tried surgery etc and still I look ugly. It doesn't help that my siblings are legitimately models.

 

[Circles]

I just don't know what to say at this point. I'm bi and the the thought that I'm not attractive to either women or men is making me think why the fuck am I even trying. It's really becoming disheartening. Like holy fuck am I that ugly and worthless???

 

[monicasqueen]

I'm very satisfied with my appearance, maybe hold a few extra pounds but nothing that isn't well positioned and proportioned… I haven't ever considered that appearance could factor in so I appreciate the post. I suppose I think looks are useless at the end of the day. My appearance, I'm sure,
has given me privilege but I'm not sure if the privilege really outweighs the downsides. I'd say the trauma experienced through life from those that have used and even assaulted and traumatized me for nothing but sexual desire probably did enough harm to outweigh any benefits. Also the only partner I've ever truly enjoyed and loved I believe would have seen me in any human suit and would have loved me.

 

[ikadasui]

I just don't know what to say at this point. I'm bi and the the thought that I'm not attractive to either women or men is making me think why the fuck am I even trying. It's really becoming disheartening. Like holy fuck am I that ugly and worthless???

Ohhh this one hurt, but I feel it deeply.

 

[irafamma]

People tell me I'm very pretty. I would have a beautiful face. Still, I'm lonely and broken. Looking good is not what makes you successful. It is the inner attitude, the personal integrity. Despite my good looks, I didn't have the slightest bit of self-confidence because of child abuse and bullying. I don't have a career, I'm not married, I don't have two kids like other people my age. I see those normal people out there and feel like an alien. A lost soul, forced to exist, but not living.

 

[Hirokami]

I'm a acne-ridden manlet. I won't say that's the main factor of me wanting to die, but it doesn't help.

 

[4eyebiped]

Looks definitely play a role indirectly for me. I don't care about my looks in the sense of competing or comparing myself to others. It isn't a very productive activity. My looks only concern me as far as attracting a companion. Due to the large number of incidences of being ghosted after sending a picture, experiences with dating sites in general and some delightful responses to my looks, I must conclude it is a face that only a mother can love. Though she was probably biting her tongue and crossing her fingers when she said I was a handsome fellow.

With that, I still torture myself daily as I continue my search for this elusive person to adore. Damn you biology and genetics!!!

 

[absoluteanimal1]

Yes, absolutely. This is one of the main reasons I want to ctb.

 

[Ta555]

No, I like the way I look for the most part. I have some flaws I really don't like but on the whole I'm satisfied. For me it's purely health related stuff. But interesting post and sending hugs to everyone suffering because of this

 

[fullofregrets]

Yup. Acne scarred face. Social anxiety, depression and dumb added to that. But yeah looks are the main reason.

 

[redwaymilk]

I had crazy body dysmorphia when I was younger. I have a huge nose that doesnt fit the rest of my face. But as I got older, I did everything that I could to compensate for it. I got extremely in shape, I became charismatic, I got a great career. And for a time, everything seemed perfect. What i learned though, is all the ways that you compensate eventually lead to bad habits. You start to internalize those bad feelings and they start pouring out against others. What I really wish is that I just had a psychiatrist when I was younger that I could've talked to. Someone to help me deal with my body dysmorphia and NPD (which emerged in response to dealing with emotional abuse from my peers) and my alcoholism (which developed as an escape mechanism). Because by the time I was attractive and I had all the attention I wanted, all those other bad traits pulled me into oblivion and I lost it all.

 

[-FrozenRobot-]

I think half of my problems wouldn't exist if I was good looking. I want to feel loved and taken care of. I'm really tired of ignorance and judgement based on looks.