Discussion Does anybody else hate this question?

[tiokapaws]

The three most annoying words. "Are you okay?" Or it's evil sibling: "Whats wrong?"

I understand with people you don't know or acquaintances it's used as a platitude or conversation starter. That's fine tbh. But it's for the people who are "close" to you, like family for example, and for their own comfort will genuinely ask the question up to 8 times in a day (not including repetition within the same conversation) Yet genuinely do not care for the answer.

And I know this because, at previous stages in my life when I've told them that I'm not okay, they've proven that they don't care at all and will yell at or scold me.

Maybe I'm being ungrateful, because some people don't even have anyone around them to ask such things, but the question is so ungenuine that I'd really rather they say nothing at all.

Anyways, what you guys' view on being asked such things?

 

[Cepheuss]

It does get annoying after a while especially when they know you arent good but think asking 10 times a day will fix everything

 

[ForeverUnknown]

Same here. I feel like people say things just to say them. They don't like the silence or the uncomfortable conversations. Or perhaps it's to keep a sense of normalcy to hang on to.

 

[wine is fine but]

people only generally say it after they have pushed you to your limit, and then act magnanimous when they pretend to care

 

[Forveleth]

After asking me 3-4 times, I just trauma dump on people and that usually stops them from asking.

 

[tiokapaws]

people only generally say it after they have pushed you to your limit, and then act magnanimous when they pretend to care

Exactlyyy... like why u asking when you know damn well you've contributed to me feeling this way

After asking me 3-4 times, I just trauma dump on people and that usually stops them from asking.

HELP I WISH I COULD But doing that would earn me an intervention for an "evil spirit" to be removed from my body

 

[Aflame5926]

Exactlyyy... like why u asking when you know damn well you've contributed to me feeling this way

HELP I WISH I COULD But doing that would earn me an intervention for an "evil spirit" to be removed from my body

just say you are fine.

its pointless to answer them truthfully they wouldnt understand it.
even with other people. to the question how is it going?
there is only one social accepted answer and that is that you are fine. anything else their brain is not designed for it

 

[tiokapaws]

just say you are fine.

its pointless to answer them truthfully they wouldnt understand it.
even with other people. to the question how is it going?
there is only one social accepted answer and that is that you are fine. anything else their brain is not designed for it

Yes I know that, of course. But the issue is they don't take "I'm fine" as an answer so easily. They keep on pressing and pressing and then getting mad when they don't recieve a different answer. As if having access to your deeper secrets is a craving they ought to satisfy asap

 

[Aflame5926]

Yes I know that, of course. But the issue is they don't take "I'm fine" as an answer so easily. They keep on pressing and pressing and then getting mad when they don't recieve a different answer. As if having access to your deeper secrets is a craving they ought to satisfy asap

that get indeed a bit more tricky.

its getting into a realm to just lie to them in their face.
making up stories etc. unfortunaly i dont have much experience with that part.
i just keep laughing it off as its nothing. so nothing gets further. dont had people pressing for an answer