Does a failed sn attempt cause brain damage or not?

[divinemistress36]

Honestly, I don't.. know - still very miserable, but I might be on the road to recovery? No health issues from SN like I said.

When I was released from the hospital and went home, I ended up getting a pug puppy (neighbor felt bad for me and had a litter, gave me one) and a year after that, I ended up taking in a pit bull I found while hiking as well. Couldn't find her owner and they're banned where I live, so surrendering her to a shelter would've led to her being put down even though she was not aggressive.

At first even after getting the puppy I kept trying to CTB. I couldn't do SN anymore, as I developed an aversion, and so I tried in multiple dumb ways before giving up. I also had the cops show up at my house, trying to interview me about Kenneth Law, which prevented me from trying to buy more SN.

I spent a lot of time in nature, hanging out with the dogs, and I think it healed me, somewhat. I had an idea suddenly of what I wanted in life.









Fast forward to now, I moved to an actual city seeking employment to make that happen. Unfortunately couldn't bring my dogs (I tried SO HARD to) and I'm still mourning them. I live in a very bad neighborhood, surrounded by crime, and I've only had one interview in 17 months. I've gone no contact with my mother (which is good).

Oh, and I lost all my internet friends, who were the only other beings that brought meaning to my life. So I may still CTB. Not sure. I start volunteering somewhere on May 27th, so maybe I can get a job when my resume isn't crap. I don't need a lot of money at all.

Anyway, sorry for hijacking your thread, OP. I'll stop now, hah.


If I could get it and could keep it down, absolutely. I've been thinking about it. It's partly why I've come back here.

Thank you for sharing <3

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

I took antiemetics, but no benzos or any other drugs to help calm me. It wasn't scary at all, the passing out, because I didn't have time to think about it. I just remember I took SN, ten minutes later I felt nauseous (but did not throw up) and got up to go to the bathroom, thinking I was going to puke, then next thing I knew I was in the hospital. I do not even remember losing consciousness, it just happened.

There was some anxiety leading up to that, as I waited for something to happen. But all in all, it was relatively peaceful. It's not a picturesque death, like in euthanasia for example, where you just go to sleep and never wake up, but it is not painful. At worst you'll just feel sick, nervous or both.

Thank you

 

[Jade10666]

All methods have risk of brain damage because the methods are all designed to you.

That is why you have to certain of your method

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Nope. I wasn't conscious for it. I wasn't conscious while I was apparently blue/purple, either - never saw it myself. It's just what I was told. So, no idea how much methylene blue I was given or what my blood pressure was.

I basically woke up on a ventilator, paralyzed by drugs. I remember hallucinating that I was on my phone (lol, sad, so much of my life is just my phone) and being very happy/goofy, due to being super out of it.

Eventually I decided my sole mission in life was to wiggle my toes and I took it very seriously, but still could not move. This did not bother me. I had a light shined in my eye, and heard staff talking, but did not understand what they were saying. I was in my own little world.

When I was no longer out of it, I eventually had the trache or whatever they had in my throat urgently removed, I vomited up charcoal (not sure why they bothered with that) and I had a catheter. My urine was bright blue. I was alert and talking. Soon, I could stand and the catheter was removed. Eventually I went to the bathroom and successfully showered and they moved me to the psych ward.

The hospital stuff sounds like the worst part. I know you said you were in your own little world and weren't distressed but I really fear being on a ventilator paralyzed, stuff down my throat etc. not that I plan on surviving my future attempt but I can imagine SI kicking in and being scared and calling someone. It's really good to hear you had no permanent damage after all you went through.