Do you want to get better?

[plskilme]

I do want to try. But I know I most likely can't. My tism + inattentive adhd fucks me hard. I just wish I was dead. Because I'm a failure in life.

 

[Melancholic Muse]

In a sense, I think I would. It's not even really the despair anymore that grips me but the feeling of powerlessness, knowing that mine and so many others' lives never had to turn out like this, and that we're at the mercy of billions who either want to push us over the edge or are completely indifferent. In the end it's not like I can overpower or circumvent them entirely through willpower. So what good does it do to convince myself that this is entirely self-serving enterprise is for anything besides a fleeting sense of ego?

I've been told time and again that there's nothing for me here. And I think I'm about ready to finally take the hint.

 

[cry.lily]

Yes but im struggling to put in the effort