Discussion Do you want people to feel sorry for you post CTB?

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

no i don't want pity. I'd like to have empathy and people realizing how bad my circumstances were but even that i'm not sure it is possible.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I would rather not care about it and let them find me offed up in the head (how they perceived me anyways) and perhaps dead (them thinking they ca get away with it until its too late and... "----^^^____^^^_______________"... lights out for me ^^ just how I want it ((:

 

[noidea1984]

What I WANT is for people to finally realize I won't be in misery anymore, but what is likely is everyone will see it as tragic when keeping me alive was even worse.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I have a strong feeling that when (and if I'll manage to) I'll die I'd be long past wanting others to feel sorry for their actions and more about "the suffering has finally ended, peace at last"

 

[Silently Dying]

No, I want them to know I'll be with my daughter and father and some friends. My tears will cease and no one can ever hurt me again.

 

[futurecorpse]

I was in the full throws of limerence then though! It took me a very long time to work that out.

Ugh saaame. I still am. Even though I'm painfully self aware, I can't bring myself to block his number and walk away

Maybe I think it's tragic that some people suffer with limerence though. I don't think it's a healthy mindset. I also wonder what impact it has on those who then actually have a relationship with the 'love object'. Can it develop into something genuine and stable and, based in the real world?

Of course limerence isn't healthy. It's an intense infatuation, dare I say obsession, that can be met with unrequited feelings. I think the relationship would be intense and if the love object isn't meeting their needs, things can go awry. It wouldn't be wise to be in a relationship if this was the case

Lastly though, would you want your suicide itself to be seen as tragic?

I suppose I would. It would be my last "I told you so" to my family and those who knew me well. I would want them to regret not doing enough for me and ignoring my cries for help, as selfish as that sounds

 

[Hydro]

I don't care about what people will think of me once I'm dead. They can cry me a river for all a corpse can care.

 

[Hotsackage]

No, even if x were to happen, I don't want sympathy, I just want people to be aware, and count their blessings

 

[Boots2Scoots]

Aiming for the complete opposite honestly. I don't want anybody feeling for me. It won't be a thing I do for attention or to make a scene or to "let people know they should've been concerned". My reasons to ctb are all my own and if anything, I hope they realize that I'm no longer trapped in my terrible brain. I hope to some it can let breath a sigh of relief as the world keeps going on.

 

[onthefence]

Hypothetically speaking, if you were to commit suicide, would you want people to feel sorry for you post CTB? As in, do you hope they would view either elements of your life and/or your death as tragic?

I expect the majority of people here have had their lives blighted by things beyond their control. Illness, trauma, bad circumstances etc.

I think there are certain things in my life that would probably be considered tragic. Losing a parent early on and a few other close family members before I was 10. Other elements of my childhood I would say were very unfortunate, if not tragic. So- I'd be grateful for sympathy on them.

But then, some of the more (debatably) 'tragic' things in life have come from my own choosing to an extent. I've never had a partner. In my 20's, 30's, that was a source of great pain. I was in the full throws of limerence then though! It took me a very long time to work that out. And when I did, I also realised it would have been a disaster if I'd gotten together with any of those guys!

The relationships absolutely wouldn't have lasted and I don't think the experience would have done me any favours. Just broken my heart. I had this weird realisation that I was strangely grateful not to have been attractive enough that they reciprocated.

Maybe I think it's tragic that some people suffer with limerence though. I don't think it's a healthy mindset. I also wonder what impact it has on those who then actually have a relationship with the 'love object'. Can it develop into something genuine and stable and, based in the real world?

Regardless though, I'm not sure that my failure in love is tragic. It's more that common sense saved the day! None of the guys I was crazy for would have been a good match- even if that had been remotely possible.

The one time it looked like things could go further with one guy, I'm so relieved really that my mind took hold of my heart and said- this isn't enough. This isn't even real! You should leave now. Weirdly though, I was still limerent on him for years after but then- I guess that's the nature of it- fantasy.

I think maybe other things that held me back in life like social anxiety and lack of confidence are partly tragic. But then, I also think we ought to take some responsibility in life too. If we know we have these issues, we ought to work on overcoming them and- I didn't. So- maybe the cause of them developing to such a degree was tragic but my failure to fix them was lazyness and fear. Fear is kind of tragic though I suppose.

I think so many people here have been made timid and self doubting/ hating through bullying and- that is tragic I think. To be downtrodden to the point where you have so much difficulty in getting up again and- don't even want to is tragic- bordering on evil with regards to the bully.

Lastly though, would you want your suicide itself to be seen as tragic? I'd say yes and no really. Suicide to me is a mirrored reflection of life. So- if large elements of their life were tragic, that's mirrored or maybe epitomized in their suicide.

There again, I don't like suicide being viewed as a weak, timid or cowardly act. I think suicide is an act of defiance. It's a choice to reject this world. So, I maybe hope that mine would be seen more like that. I have a rebellious heart to an extent.

My suicide would be a way of me rescuing myself from the likelihood of an ever worsening life. I've often felt like suicide will be me acting as the own hero in my story. I'm going to help me escape this place eventually (hopefully.)

I want to be forgotten.

 

[loneloser]

I'd want them to feel happy because I'm not there to fuck stuff up for them anymore or just drag everyone down emotionally with me. If I just completely poofed out of existence with everyone forgetting I was there, I think that would be better than for them to feel sorry. I want people's pity but at the same time I feel like an attention whore for it.

 

[Chr0nicAnhedonic]

I don't know.

Part of me wants to just be forgotten entirely and have people move on with their lives. I'm clearly a burden on them that drags down the mood by being pessimistic and needlessly antagonistic over stupid shit that doesn't matter. When I'm not around, there might be a weight lifted off their chests once they're done grieving. Everyone has their own life and their own struggles, and I will no longer be adding to it.

But at the same time, another part wants them to suffer because of it. I want them to hurt, to really think about how badly they and the world fucked up by ignoring my plights. I want them to feel the consequences of their (in)actions. I want them to know that there truly is no help when you're someone like me, and I want it to fucking sting when I'm gone.

I don't know how to reconcile these two parts.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Hypothetically speaking, if you were to commit suicide, would you want people to feel sorry for you post CTB? As in, do you hope they would view either elements of your life and/or your death as tragic?

I expect the majority of people here have had their lives blighted by things beyond their control. Illness, trauma, bad circumstances etc.

I think there are certain things in my life that would probably be considered tragic. Losing a parent early on and a few other close family members before I was 10. Other elements of my childhood I would say were very unfortunate, if not tragic. So- I'd be grateful for sympathy on them.

But then, some of the more (debatably) 'tragic' things in life have come from my own choosing to an extent. I've never had a partner. In my 20's, 30's, that was a source of great pain. I was in the full throws of limerence then though! It took me a very long time to work that out. And when I did, I also realised it would have been a disaster if I'd gotten together with any of those guys!

The relationships absolutely wouldn't have lasted and I don't think the experience would have done me any favours. Just broken my heart. I had this weird realisation that I was strangely grateful not to have been attractive enough that they reciprocated.

Maybe I think it's tragic that some people suffer with limerence though. I don't think it's a healthy mindset. I also wonder what impact it has on those who then actually have a relationship with the 'love object'. Can it develop into something genuine and stable and, based in the real world?

Regardless though, I'm not sure that my failure in love is tragic. It's more that common sense saved the day! None of the guys I was crazy for would have been a good match- even if that had been remotely possible.

The one time it looked like things could go further with one guy, I'm so relieved really that my mind took hold of my heart and said- this isn't enough. This isn't even real! You should leave now. Weirdly though, I was still limerent on him for years after but then- I guess that's the nature of it- fantasy.

I think maybe other things that held me back in life like social anxiety and lack of confidence are partly tragic. But then, I also think we ought to take some responsibility in life too. If we know we have these issues, we ought to work on overcoming them and- I didn't. So- maybe the cause of them developing to such a degree was tragic but my failure to fix them was lazyness and fear. Fear is kind of tragic though I suppose.

I think so many people here have been made timid and self doubting/ hating through bullying and- that is tragic I think. To be downtrodden to the point where you have so much difficulty in getting up again and- don't even want to is tragic- bordering on evil with regards to the bully.

Lastly though, would you want your suicide itself to be seen as tragic? I'd say yes and no really. Suicide to me is a mirrored reflection of life. So- if large elements of their life were tragic, that's mirrored or maybe epitomized in their suicide.

There again, I don't like suicide being viewed as a weak, timid or cowardly act. I think suicide is an act of defiance. It's a choice to reject this world. So, I maybe hope that mine would be seen more like that. I have a rebellious heart to an extent.

My suicide would be a way of me rescuing myself from the likelihood of an ever worsening life. I've often felt like suicide will be me acting as the own hero in my story. I'm going to help me escape this place eventually (hopefully.)

If i finally gain the means and confidence to do it peacefully and effectively, I'd want to inspire. I don't mean 'influence' people with no suicidal tendencies. I mean inspire those who do have such traits to end their perpetual misery. When l personally read about a quick, peaceful, chosen death I always feel pleased for the person, they inspire me. I envy what they've achieved, think "yeah, good on you".

It's different when I see people who have taken their lives by means of a long or violent death. Regarding those people, I wonder what pain and suffering they had to contend with. But even then I know they suffered so much mentally they felt they had no choice. There comes a point when a short spell of physical pain outweighs the long term pain of living.