Discussion Do you want people to feel sorry for you post CTB?

[LostLily]

I rather have people pity me than feel angry at me at my funeral.

 

[MeltingBrain]

I rather have people pity me than feel angry at me at my funeral.

Why would people be angry at you at your own funeral ?

 

[death_bed221]

Nope, I hate that pity shit. Just keep the same energy

 

[areyousafe??]

Why would people be angry at you at your own funeral ?

I've read the loved ones of the person who suicided become angry at that person, which is something I find hard to understand. I'm assuming it's because they are sad/upset that the person suicided, hence angry at the person for causing the sadness/grief. If I am correct, it seems like quite a selfish reaction to me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've read the loved ones of the person who suicided become angry at that person, which is something I find hard to understand. I'm assuming it's because they are sad/upset that the person suicided, hence angry at the person for causing the sadness/grief. If I am correct, it seems like quite a selfish reaction to me.

I don't think anger is uncommon, for the reasons you stated. Not sure they'd show that at the funeral as such though. I think people often try to save face at a funeral.

I think there can be all sorts of blame being hurled around after a suicide. Including blame/ suspicion and shame of those closest to the deceased. Did no one actually notice they were that unhappy? So- to act angry towards them at that stage could come across callous to friends and family. I imagine that they would be more likely to be receptive to the sympathy they are (deservedly) being shown.

Asides though, I think funerals are usually incredibly emotional. I imagine most will be feeling intense grief and loss at that point.

Anger is certainly sometimes present though. Sometimes it's deflected though. I think the most intense hate and campaigning this forum gets is from those who have lost loved ones to suicide. Sometimes I expect it's too painful to hate the person that made the decision to die but also as a consequence, to leave them. So, they blame it on something like mental illness- that person wouldn't have done that to them if they were thinking logically. Even their (inaccurate in my opinion) perception that a forum like this encouraged them to do it. Plus, they hate anything that enabled their loved one to do it. The internet, this forum, the person that sold them the equipment, the government for not having stricter regulations. Of course, there will be examples where there is a perpetraitor- a bully or abuser.

I find it really sad too that people get angry. I think it's disappointment/ disapproval too- as in: 'Why didn't you fight harder (for me.)' I also think that being made to feel guilty about something (they may actually feel like they hadn't done enough to support the person) does sometimes make us feel angry. Who likes to be made to feel like they're a bad person who didn't do enough to help?

I think it's just a whole bunch of unpleasant feelings they don't want to have that they wouldn't have if the person were still alive. I wonder if they really consider though that- if that person were still here- what's the likelihood they would be ok? Kind of weird isn't it? I want you alive and suffering for my sake. I think we can feel angry at them for that but maybe it doesn't tend to reach the same level. Or, people CTB before it does maybe.

 

[unknown_xav]

No, my sole intention is relief from the pain, and suffering I have. The only thing that I'd hope people would feel is a sense of understanding of why this was an action to find peace, as opposed to being angry over my actions or view them as selfish. But I do know that I can never change people's feelings towards the ctb, all I can do is that the few that are close to me know and feel for me as opposed to judging only from their own perspective.

 

[TAW122]

No, I wouldn't want people to feel sorry (pity and sympathy) if/when I CTB. Instead, I would hope they see my decision as something that is made from a rational, calculated position, and one of sound mind, carefully thought-out and executed. Whether they will see it the way I hope they would will depend on the person (maybe they had CTB ideation or enough rationality to understand, or maybe they don't and are like most normies in society). Nevertheless, objectively speaking, once I am gone, it wouldn't be relevant to me how they react, perceive, or feel because I am no longer around to experience anything (non-sentience).

 

[hereornot]

No, absolutely not in any way. Just forget about me, find other people to focus your attention on.

 

[SA1994EC]

No. My CTB is only by and for myself. Other people are not in it. And I know no one will feel anything about me or my CTB anyway.
But I understand some people need kind of connections with others to some extent even at this stage. I used to have the need. But it has been dead quite a while.

 

[gloomurai]

No, I wish for it to pass as nothing happened. I don't want people to remember me, negatively nor positively.

 

[LowLevelChimp]

F**k no, I'm hated, ignored and marginalised in life due to my own repulsiveness. It'll be door D for me and I hope that all those who knew me and of me will just carry on regardless.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I don't want people to feel sorry for me at all. My only wish is my death is understood. I want my kids to know the truth I've buried so deeply. I don't want people to think I was some crazy looney psych patient that couldnt be helped. My feelings and emotions are real and justified! I want people to know there is no look, profile of a suicidal person, it doesn't discriminate. I only hope my death answers all the questions I were unable to answer when I'm gone. I think only in my death, people will listen.

 

[Gstreater]

No, half the people are the reason I'm like this and everyone that knows me knows I'm not happy how I'm living now so I would hope they're happy that my suffering is finally over.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Honestly, no. There is enough pain and suffering in the world and I do not want to contribute to that in any way. Have had a lifetime worth of suffering and I despise how it makes me feel so why the hell would I want to inflict that on others?

 

[foreverlanguish]

Maybe a little, but I don't know. I've been pitied a lot throughout my life and the last thing I want is people doing that to me after my death I guess.

 

[HelloDarkness25]

No, not at all. I just want them to move on as soon as it's possible and to live as happily as if I never existed at all. There is nothing to be sorry about.

 

[CogitoMori]

Not that I necessarily want them to feel bad, but there is at least one person that I want to take a lesson from it

 

[human909]

I don't give a fuck, i will be dead anyways so wouldn't even feel a damn thing.

 

[003]

I guess it's a complicated question. Do I want people to miss my absence? Sure. Do I want them to feel sorry and pity me? No, I've been pitied enough in life and don't want to experience the same in death.

 

[LukaParrot]

Like almost everyone here, No.

I think when people post their Goodby CTB is a kind of way to say goodbye to some people that really can understand what they're passing through.

It's a way to thank the comunity here, I didnt see anyone encoraging suicide. Some like me like to give information, opinion.

This forum feels like the last free place in the internet to discuss about suicide, feeling, venting.

 

[parasite_eve]

I'd prefer it be like I never existed at all - save for some assets going to little sibling.

 

[-NH-ONO2Na]

I know I am just rehashing what other people have already said but.

You will be dead other peoples opinions and actions cease to matter as you will not be there to be effect by them. This is the benefit of being dead what ever people say, think or do won't effect you anymore.

Sure I will leave behind grieving family members, that is simply not my problem anymore.

 

[crocune]

the opposite, i want them to feel nothing. if i could die with the knowledge that no one would be sad about my death, that would let me die content.

the only thing preventing me from dying right now is that my moms gonna be devastated. also the fact i have trouble getting SN

 

[goredpet]

I honestly wish I could take all the traces and memories of me with me. I don't want to be forgotten, but I wish there was never anything there to possibly be forgotten. but since it doesn't work that way, I want the people who treated me badly to feel guilty, but only to possibly make them treat others better. I want the few amazing people in my life or that were in my life to remember good times even if there isn't many with me, and I would want them to feel proud (for a lack of a better term) of me for finally taking a step to stop the pain. even if ctb isn't the step they wanted for me.

 

[SilentSadness]

The people left behind wouldn't be worth caring about, as far as I'm concerned.

 

[Arrival03]

No, I want to be completely forgotten

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I'm not looking for any sympathy or attention in life or death. I just want my pain to end.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Only my parents, who recklessly decided to give birth to me and treat my like dirt, despite the fact that I have sacrificed so much to care for them.

 

[theolivanderroach]

No I hope they just forget I ever existed

 

[kalashnikova]

I always fantasize about post CTB and whether or not anyone will miss me but, I really don't know if anyone will. I think my family will be sad, especially my parents but they'll get through it. I don't have any family besides my parents, my grandmother, my cousin and other family that I'm not close with. I want them to think of it as a relief, I don't want them to feel guilt over it.