Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,279
I plan to buy my favorite meal before the long drive, but I don't know if the meal would be pleasurable knowing what would soon follow.
 
  • Hugs
  • Yay!
  • Like
Reactions: mickeyboy, Huntfish34, leavingsoon99 and 1 other person
Rocinante

Rocinante

My name is Lucifer, please take my hand
Aug 26, 2022
1,462
i won't. No loss to the world
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Huntfish34, fkyou, GasMonkey and 1 other person
leftdreaming

leftdreaming

I should’ve been a house cat
Apr 28, 2023
170
I probably will. SI is a bitch.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Aww..
Reactions: Huntfish34, Brokensaddle and Ambivalent1
woh6

woh6

Student
May 13, 2023
188
I don't see why I would. I'll already be at peace with my decision at that point.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Huntfish34
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,279
I don't see why I would. I'll already be at peace with my decision at that point.
How do you reach that beyond-sad state?
 
woh6

woh6

Student
May 13, 2023
188
How do you reach that beyond-sad state?
I wouldn't say 'sad'.. nor is there a way to 'reach' it. It just happens. You're the one making the decision, so if you're 100% sure I don't see why it would make you sad.
I don't like being alive, I've wanted ctb for such a long time, I'd finally be at some sort of peace knowing it's gonna end soon. But that's how I view it, crying is okay and everyone reacts differently.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Brokensaddle, pthnrdnojvsc, kwho and 1 other person
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,279
I wouldn't say 'sad'.. nor is there a way to 'reach' it. It just happens. You're the one making the decision, so if you're 100% sure I don't see why it would make you sad.
I don't like being alive, I've wanted ctb for such a long time, I'd finally be at some sort of peace knowing it's gonna end soon. But that's how I view it, crying is okay and everyone reacts differently.
Maybe sadness comes from still having expectations. Expectations are a desire. Desire leads to suffering. It's interesting how much the suicide process aligns with the Buddhist path. One must detach to die in peace.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Regen, kwho and offbalance
O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,591
Well, I get tears in my eyes every day as it is, final day should be no different
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: BookPostponed and 710
O

offbalance

All I want is peace
Dec 16, 2021
203
Maybe sadness comes from still having expectations. Expectations are a desire. Desire leads to suffering. It's interesting how much the suicide process aligns with the Buddhist path. One must detach to die in peace.

Yeah, that's why I'm trying to desensitize myself to death as much as possible before the day until I don't cry or have sadness anymore. Right now sometimes I'll still think about it or talk about it with someone else and unexpectedly get sad/cry, I'm trying to get that all out of my system before CTB. Of course I still have a shred of hope but yeah idk. Sometimes chemicals in my brain make things more bearable but rationally death seems better nonetheless… idk lol fuck
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ambivalent1
kwho

kwho

Student
Apr 29, 2023
110
Maybe sadness comes from still having expectations. Expectations are a desire. Desire leads to suffering. It's interesting how much the suicide process aligns with the Buddhist path. One must detach to die in peace.
And it is a fun process. You get to know the furthermost corners of yourself before you let go of yourself! It is wonderful.

On a indirectly related note - you were complaining about the quality of modern entertainment a while ago. Go watch Severance. You will like it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ambivalent1
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,279
And it is a fun process. You get to know the furthermost corners of yourself before you let go of yourself! It is wonderful.

On a indirectly related note - you were complaining about the quality of modern entertainment a while ago. Go watch Severance. You will like it.
Is meditation the pathway? It seems appropriate that one should let go of it all after circumnavigating one's inner universe.

I've seen it. The writer's strike is delaying season 2. That ending was great.
 
leloyon

leloyon

I'll see you in the Wired.
Feb 4, 2023
1,096
It would be nice if I could cry the day before, but honestly I expect to feel numb on the day.
 
kwho

kwho

Student
Apr 29, 2023
110
Is meditation the pathway? It seems appropriate that one should let go of it all after circumnavigating one's inner universe.

I've seen it. The writer's strike is delaying season 2. That ending was great.
Meditation also, of course. It gives you distance to observe yourself from.

But of course, you've seen it, hehehe! You basically have all the answers in that show. Just watch it again, meditatively.

Do you want a waffle party or a coffee coaster?

I'll never see the 2nd season, if all goes well, so i don't care. The 1st one was enough. Even just this promo image is mind-blowing
h2nawsjltuwa1.jpg
 
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,279
Meditation also, of course. It gives you distance to observe yourself from.

But of course, you've seen it, hehehe! You basically have all the answers in that show. Just watch it again, meditatively.

Do you want a waffle party or a coffee coaster?

I'll never see the 2nd season, if all goes well, so i don't care. The 1st one was enough. Even just this promo image is mind-blowing
h2nawsjltuwa1.jpg
Is the answer that it doesn't matter what you choose because any choice is meaningless?
Meditation also, of course. It gives you distance to observe yourself from.

But of course, you've seen it, hehehe! You basically have all the answers in that show. Just watch it again, meditatively.

Do you want a waffle party or a coffee coaster?

I'll never see the 2nd season, if all goes well, so i don't care. The 1st one was enough. Even just this promo image is mind-blowing
h2nawsjltuwa1.jpg
Life is like a kind of game. You play a role and interact with other players. Then you die. I'm upset that I don't get to play the game like other people do even though it's meaningless because even though it's meaningless, it's all there is.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Idon'tknow828 and Bobert_Beniro
Bobert_Beniro

Bobert_Beniro

Life sucks and then you die.
Mar 14, 2023
346
I think not. When I was a teenager, I cried the first time I tried ctb because I wasn't sure I wanted it. Now I have matured, during the last attempt there was no fear at all and I did not cry. Most likely it will be a conscious choice, and not an emotional one, as in youth.
 
kwho

kwho

Student
Apr 29, 2023
110
Is the answer that it doesn't matter what you choose because any choice is meaningless?
It's a koan question to illustrate the absurdity of both of these options.

No one in their right mind would actually be motivated by any of the crap they present as "incentives" in the show. The creators just deliberately chose absurd, stupid items to really telegraph the fact.

99% percent of wishes and desires passing through your mind aren't actually real. Or even yours.
 
  • Like
Reactions: pthnrdnojvsc and Ambivalent1
The anhedonic one

The anhedonic one

Dead inside
May 20, 2023
1,070
No. I will laugh like a madman.
 
  • Yay!
  • Like
Reactions: Thisisme373 and murmur
kwho

kwho

Student
Apr 29, 2023
110
Life is like a kind of game. You play a role and interact with other players. Then you die. I'm upset that I don't get to play the game like other people do even though it's meaningless because even though it's meaningless, it's all there is.
Who's playing the game? Forget all about the meaning. Who is it?

Who is playing the game?

Who is reading this now? Who is asking in your mind now if you are supposed to answer the question you are now reading?

And where do you go at night when you are asleep and not dreaming?


And, no you are not. Not to me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: pthnrdnojvsc
P

peaceindeath

I want peace
May 5, 2023
81
Our instinct is to feel sad and loss. But you need to rationally remember how much pain you save yourself from
 
  • Like
Reactions: NoLightRemains, pthnrdnojvsc, Thisisme373 and 1 other person
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,892
If I had a reliable method all planned out and if I knew that I was close to being permanently gone I would feel so relieved, for me suicide is a positive thing, it's self care as it's the way to prevent all future suffering, it's taking control over my inevitable fate and is freeing myself from this horrible world. Existence is so replusive and unappealing to me, there is nothing sad about being unable to suffer, of course those who no longer exist are the only fortunate ones.
 
  • Like
Reactions: fkyou and Idon'tknow828
spøgelse

spøgelse

Student
May 14, 2023
104
No. I didn't cry the first nor last time I tried. I haven't had a good cry in a few years.
 
  • Like
Reactions: fkyou
Thisisme373

Thisisme373

Arcanist
Feb 16, 2019
417
I think not. When I was a teenager, I cried the first time I tried ctb because I wasn't sure I wanted it. Now I have matured, during the last attempt there was no fear at all and I did not cry. Most likely it will be a conscious choice, and not an emotional one, as in youth.
You had no fear on your last attempt? I'd like to not have the fear, I think my main fear is failing, that would be devastating to me.
 
unnormal9

unnormal9

SOLDIER T.
Apr 12, 2023
1,139
Men cry not for themselves, but for their comrades.
 
Message In A Bottle

Message In A Bottle

📜 Just me, myself, and I
Apr 1, 2022
363
Yeah, because I'll be thinking of my family and those who will discover me in such a state. Will my body be beyond recognition? How quickly will I be found? Will animals feast on my flesh? And will my family follow me soon after the grief? All these questions run rampant in my mind, and whenever I start to deeply think about them, I tear up from the severity of it all.

It cuts deep, thinking about all the lives I'll potentially affect. I always thought I was numb—devoid of all emotion—but it turns out I still have some human emotion left in me somewhere in this meat sack of mine.
 
  • Aww..
  • Love
Reactions: animetal and Ambivalent1
unnormal9

unnormal9

SOLDIER T.
Apr 12, 2023
1,139
I cried today, right now. i dont know its rare, but something just hit me
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: jazzcat
silent star

silent star

Soon I will forget this life
Apr 30, 2023
95
100%, I'm hella sensitive
 
jazzcat

jazzcat

dark eyed and miserable
May 19, 2023
138
I mean I cry everyday so probably, but I think the moment I actually go through with it I'll be calm and I won't cry, otherwise I wouldn't be ready
 
  • Like
Reactions: fkyou

Similar threads

theconductor25
Replies
5
Views
306
Suicide Discussion
TragedyBornCrimson
TragedyBornCrimson
orderphil91
Replies
5
Views
376
Suicide Discussion
legoshi
legoshi
lwovely
Replies
0
Views
102
Recovery
lwovely
lwovely
A
Replies
18
Views
1K
Suicide Discussion
Forever Sleep
F
toxicjester
Replies
1
Views
179
Suicide Discussion
Shrooms
Shrooms