Discussion Do you think you could still be suicidal and yet live to old age?

[Forever Sleep]

I do actually worry about this- which is so stupid because it is something I could in theory stop at any point. I'm just not so sure I really have the courage to ctb. Failing an attempt scares me and while I'm not strictly religious, being undecided on God is enough to scare me of a potential (unpleasant) afterlife.

I'm in no way financially prepared for old age/retirement. I was actually utterly convinced I would be dead by now from natural causes- my Mum died young. Ironically, I probably had my 'chance' a few years back when a gallstone travelled into my bile duct. Left uncurred, I think that eventually would have led to Pancreatitus and death. The pain was unbearable though and I got treatment.

I keep thinking that's my next best option- to refuse treatment for the next big problem. Still, I wonder if they become suspicious if you ask for loads of pain medication but no treatment.

 

[whywhywhy]

I do actually worry about this- which is so stupid because it is something I could in theory stop at any point. I'm just not so sure I really have the courage to ctb. Failing an attempt scares me and while I'm not strictly religious, being undecided on God is enough to scare me of a potential (unpleasant) afterlife.

I'm in no way financially prepared for old age/retirement. I was actually utterly convinced I would be dead by now from natural causes- my Mum died young. Ironically, I probably had my 'chance' a few years back when a gallstone travelled into my bile duct. Left uncurred, I think that eventually would have led to Pancreatitus and death. The pain was unbearable though and I got treatment.

I keep thinking that's my next best option- to refuse treatment for the next big problem. Still, I wonder if they become suspicious if you ask for loads of pain medication but no treatment.

Just think about it. If there was such thing as afterlife and thats a big if, God would be a complete scumbag for punishing people that suicide. Just imagine this situation. You arrive to the afterlife, you see God surrounded by a group of people and he says: 'hey bro sorry you were poor, had no friends and lived in pain' now you have to suffer eternal pain. Suddenly everyone starts clapping and cheering god for being and asshole.

Truth is you could only be judged fairly if everyone's lives, experiences and abilities were the same. Being punished for suiciding its like giving a price to Ussain Bolt after winning a race vs someone without legs.

But yeah that is if afterlife exists which would be shit anyway. Its not like living twice would fix anything.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Just think about it. If there was such thing as afterlife and thats a big if, God would be a complete scumbag for punishing people that suicide. Just imagine this situation. You arrive to the afterlife, you see God surrounded by a group of people and he says: 'hey bro sorry you were poor, had no friends and lived in pain' now you have to suffer eternal pain. Suddenly everyone starts clapping and cheering god for being and asshole.

Truth is you could only be judged fairly if everyone's lives, experiences and abilities were the same. Being punished for suiciding its like giving a price to Ussain Bolt after winning a race vs someone without legs.

But yeah that is if afterlife exists which would be shit anyway. Its not like living twice would fix anything.

Yeah, I completely agree... I do actually wish I had no faith whatsoever. It would be less complicated.

The rational part of me- as well as a lot of clever friends who I deeply admire believe there is nothing- no God, no afterlife. Trouble is, I'm probably still a bit attached to the heaven thing- lots of my close family died when I was a child and I was comforted (kind of) with the thought of them being all together again and out of pain.

Trouble is- IF there is a God- and I agree- it's a big IF- I'd say more than enough indication exists that he/she/it is a sadist... Yes, it would be grossly unfair to judge people and punish them horrifically but- looking at the world and if God does exist and did create it- do you think they play fair? I REALLY hope there's nothing!

 

[burglarlydante]

no, definitely not a possibility for me

 

[whywhywhy]

I know where you are coming from. Thinking emotionally there is people I love and even if I cant feel the same I wish for them eternal happiness. I wish it specially for my dog who I had to euthanize and my mom which has spent every minute on their life trying to make my life better.

But thinking logically and from the perspective of God it gives me relief knowing there is nothing. If you think about it eternal life is probably the worst torture even if you are a happy person. Eventually everything will bore you, you will get tired of everyone. If I was inmortal and I was god I would wonder why the fuck was I alive and the reason he would create live beings is probably to entertain himself out of eternal boredom.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm deliberately not managing my type 2 diabetes and other health issues, so hopefully one of those will take me out beforehand

There's nothing peaceful about this "method". Potential loss of limbs, organ failure, etc. I'm not sure this matters to you, or not, though.

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

I'll be 60 this fall. I have been suicidal off & on throughout my life, though raising kids did a good job of mostly distracting me for many years. Without that distraction, things have gotten much worse in the last decade or so.

 

[LivingDeadGirl]

I've been suicidal since 13. I'm now 35 and after several failed attempts do to SI, I just sit and wait hoping one day I'll be able to get past it. I never planned to live to my 20s let alone my 30s. I have no life since I never planned one. I just sit here as the days pass one by one.

 

[Passersby]

Yes because if I don't do anything about it then that's what will happen. I will still be here living and suffering. This is a terrible thought. People live like this all the time. Suicidal for life and some never end up ctb and some do even later in life like 70s or 80s or higher. I have been living like this for way to many years now and I will be taking a stand before older age sets in and things get even worse. Everyone's situation is different but for me the clock is ticking and time is running out. At an unknown time in the future I will actually be forced to ctb if I am still here. I will go with one of my planned methods assuming nothing new is available. So no I don't plan on being old and in terrible situation long term like a rest home , homeless, or whatever could come up since there is no limit on this. I want to die on my own terms by ctb when the time is right.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

There's nothing peaceful about this "method". Potential loss of limbs, organ failure, etc. I'm not sure this matters to you, or not, though.

I appreciate the concern. I do know the risks, though. Fear of those things certainly effects my quality of life.
It isn't my main method, for those reasons, but if it can passively worsen my health while I procrastinate on making a decision, then, well...

It's not healthy, but maybe it'll get the job done, in the end.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I appreciate the concern. I do know the risks, though. Fear of those things certainly effects my quality of life.
It isn't my main method, for those reasons, but if it can passively worsen my health while I procrastinate on making a decision, then, well...

It's not healthy, but maybe it'll get the job done, in the end.

Frankly, my concern would be something happening to my health, whatever it may be, loss of limbs, fingers, etc., that would be of a sufficient detriment to keep me from even being able to ctb, and then being stuck in a much worse position.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

Frankly, my concern would be something happening to my health, whatever it may be, loss of limbs, fingers, etc., that would be of a sufficient detriment to keep me from even being able to ctb, and then being stuck in a much worse position.

Definitely understandable. But diabetes is a progressive disease, and loss of limbs usually happens after untreated infection (high sugar levels essentially eat away at wounds, mess with blood flow and prevent healing, causing things like sepsis and necrosis). If something like losing my fingers was on the horizon, I'd probably seek help just so I wouldn't have a harder time ctb later, haha.

 

[DonTellMeToStayAlive]

You could live as suicidal..

Or in the epilogue :-

 

[m00nlyte]

probably if i never find a method but im sure one day id get a gun. I did a palm reading study once and my palms constantly say my lifeline will be to old age, lol tht can go f*k itself

This is my theory if not hanging, watching the resources to see otherways possible hopefully before end of the year for me I would like to go out as peacefully and fast as possible and not get caught. If a gun was possible to get id be gone 8 years ago

 

[Soulless Angel]

I have never actually thought about this, anf fuck that's a head mess. I want to CTB, failed attempts behind me, would try again but I am NEVER left alone, meaning I could be into old age and with a mind like this, nah not for me. I have no SI, just fucking people, I am hoping between now and the next 10yrs Ill be on my own at some point!
I don't want to be old, let alone old and suicidal!

 

[CantGetUp]

It's quite possible for me but it seems like a nightmare life to think about. I'm holding on for my family. When my parents die I hope I can do it finally. Just hope that my sibling and best friend have a good support system and they'll be as ok as they can be before I go.

 

[JamieJambo]

Unfortunately that's my trajectory at this point…

Me too