Do you think you could make someone happy?

[melancholymallory03]

I'm afraid I could never make someone happy. I know how and I'm able to maintain an acceptable social mask for a small amount of time , I love my siblings, but I know I don't make them happy, I love my grandmother , but I know I don't make her happy.
What's the point of loving someone if you can't make them happy? I'd always be a chaotic burden to another , unless they were equally as chaotic . Which you can only imagine the results of our tornadoship together.

I'm afraid I could never make anyone happy in a long term relationship , my girlfriend of five years ( an open relationship ) I feel myself burdening her. I don't talk to anyone personal in my life about my emotions anymore. I can see the looks on there faces as they try to think of something hopeful to say, I can see there good energy flood with blue energy from my sadness. I just can't handle it.

Do you think you could ever make someone happy?

I think for a short time I could , but in the end I'd always be a burden , an impact of chaos.

I'd hope nobody would ever see me cry again, to pretend like they cared. I can hear they don't care. I can feel they don't care my own parents even , struggling for words to say, and then I convince them , they should be depressed to with all my cynical ignorance " civil war " talk . I just depress people, and drain them. All I can make happy is a plant , or a tree.

 

[Mark_Anatoly]

I think I can make someone happy for a while with my "charm" and myself happy for a while with the good stuff (marlboros and a bottle of soju). But it'll be when life rolls in and shit kicks in that I'll be forced to leave them.

That sucks, bud.. but I get it.

If you love the plants, focus on them. People are a total nightmare.

 

[Hollowman]

No

 

[melancholymallory03]

I think I can make someone happy for a while with my "charm" and myself happy for a while with the good stuff (marlboros and a bottle of soju). But it'll be when life rolls in and shit kicks in that I'll be forced to leave them.

That sucks, bud.. but I get it.

If you love the plants, focus on them. People are a total nightmare.

Did u call me bud lmao but that's relatable

I love the plants , but when they die it hurts me , even plants end up fulfilling purposes and dying …..

I'm wishing you peace on you're journey

No

Same :( I feel like everyone recommends trying to be in meaningful relationships with people to make ourselves healthy and happy, but just no I can't make someone happy long term

 

[Saturn_]

I'm too chaotic to remain in close emotional proximity with anyone. The winds of my tornado have, do, and will tear everything apart. I have remedied this by cutting all of my friends out of my life, and deleting all my social media accounts. I haven't talked to anyone in just a few days shy of a month. I haven't even held a real conversation with any of my family in that time. I have quarantined myself from all human warmth, because that is what I deserve, and I'm ready to drop dead.

 

[cocoseal]

I believe you can make people happy, whether you believe it or not I'm sure you aren't a burden to your girl friend if she been with you for 5 years! You have def left a good impact on her atp I'm sure shes happy but I understand you completely on feeling a bad vibe in the room. Just know you can make others happy.

 

[Illegal Preclear]

I've done it before. It made zero difference on the outcome of my life.

 

[RegretedFeeling]

I know I can't make people happy. Even if they're paying me to do things with them.

It's not even so much that I don't like people. I like them so much that every time I'm with someone new I try to impress with all my cool stories. My stories are so "cool" that they traumatize people just by me telling them.

If the person is dumb enough to stick around I usually destroy their life to some regard. Secondary trauma is a real thing and the shit I say traums out even the best councilor I see let alone the people I meet. I try to learn new lessons, but no matter what eventually someones going to ask a question about there life vs mine (not everybody there's always something worse)
But that's the day I loose a friend.

Anywho, im not normal. I fucked my life up when I 14 by robbing drug dealers and shitting in my own backyard! I have C-PTSD and secondary trauma from which my disassociation pops in and out.

I've been sitting here keeping myself busy which usually involves me having full blown conversations with myself. I'm sure the neighbors hear me sometimes and would agree with my craziness level.

I bought a rope and hook the other day. I've put it in once or twice but I think I'm going to go for a hike, I'm keeping the place I'm in clean, I'll pay my rent for next month. Maybe after that.

Statistically speaking my score of 9 on the ace test cuts like 30 years off an average life, every addiction known to man except heroin. I'm 38 and got to do something before I go crazy and get locked up. So no I don't think making someone happy again is in my cards!

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Doubtful. The last person I was close to told me that everytime we talk, it provokes suffering. And he was right.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I can only make people happy by having them take joy in my suffering, at least intentionally. Unintentionally I seem to make people happy all the time even though they shouldn't be happy about me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Similar to you, I could only likely do it short term and even then, I suspect cracks would start to show. The real me is just too negative to make someone cheerful long-term.

Plus, when you care about someone, it's upsetting to see them upset and know you probably can't help them. I don't think I could 'get better' for someone else. I think further friendships/ relationships now would just turn in to more tethers eventually.

I guess that whole saying: 'You have to love yourself first' to an extent I think carries weight. Maybe not love exactly but I just wonder- if you're really not ok and maybe more importantly- not actually willing to be helped, is it fair to invite people into your life? I imagine they just end up getting pushed away and hurt- if they do even care to begin with. I have a feeling that would happen with me anyway.

I've also lost trust in people generally anyway. Time and time again, I've been proven right how stupid it is to actually value a connection with someone only to lose it. I guess that will continue to an extent though. It's hard to live entirely as an island.

I do spend a fair bit of time imagining a different life I suppose. Where I turned out more normal and had a partner in some lovey fairytale romance. Maybe I had the potential for that once but not now. It probably doesn't even exist though to be honest! Most relationships I see in real life don't look all that appealing. Most couples I know spend at least as much time bickering and getting annoyed with each other as they do being happy together. Or, at least it seems that way.

 

[melancholymallory03]

I'm too chaotic to remain in close emotional proximity with anyone. The winds of my tornado have, do, and will tear everything apart. I have remedied this by cutting all of my friends out of my life, and deleting all my social media accounts. I haven't talked to anyone in just a few days shy of a month. I haven't even held a real conversation with any of my family in that time. I have quarantined myself from all human warmth, because that is what I deserve, and I'm ready to drop dead.

I'm wishing you peace on you're journey
I understand the chaos , it's exhausting over time :(

I believe you can make people happy, whether you believe it or not I'm sure you aren't a burden to your girl friend if she been with you for 5 years! You have def left a good impact on her atp I'm sure shes happy but I understand you completely on feeling a bad vibe in the room. Just know you can make others happy.

Thank you!! We are having some issues but I guess all relationships do … sss I sometimes feel paranoid of all peoples intentions which is a personal thing to me, I don't wanna burden her…

I'm wishing you peace on your journey , I also love ur pfp !

I've done it before. It made zero difference on the outcome of my life.

True

I know I can't make people happy. Even if they're paying me to do things with them.

It's not even so much that I don't like people. I like them so much that every time I'm with someone new I try to impress with all my cool stories. My stories are so "cool" that they traumatize people just by me telling them.

If the person is dumb enough to stick around I usually destroy their life to some regard. Secondary trauma is a real thing and the shit I say traums out even the best councilor I see let alone the people I meet. I try to learn new lessons, but no matter what eventually someones going to ask a question about there life vs mine (not everybody there's always something worse)
But that's the day I loose a friend.

Anywho, im not normal. I fucked my life up when I 14 by robbing drug dealers and shitting in my own backyard! I have C-PTSD and secondary trauma from which my disassociation pops in and out.

I've been sitting here keeping myself busy which usually involves me having full blown conversations with myself. I'm sure the neighbors hear me sometimes and would agree with my craziness level.

I bought a rope and hook the other day. I've put it in once or twice but I think I'm going to go for a hike, I'm keeping the place I'm in clean, I'll pay my rent for next month. Maybe after that.

Statistically speaking my score of 9 on the ace test cuts like 30 years off an average life, every addiction known to man except heroin. I'm 38 and got to do something before I go crazy and get locked up. So no I don't think making someone happy again is in my cards!

Thank you for sharing this I can relate to you , :( sometimes it's better to just be alone …. It's hard to find people who truly understand … I'm wishing you peace on you're journey and comfort

I know I can't make people happy. Even if they're paying me to do things with them.

It's not even so much that I don't like people. I like them so much that every time I'm with someone new I try to impress with all my cool stories. My stories are so "cool" that they traumatize people just by me telling them.

If the person is dumb enough to stick around I usually destroy their life to some regard. Secondary trauma is a real thing and the shit I say traums out even the best councilor I see let alone the people I meet. I try to learn new lessons, but no matter what eventually someones going to ask a question about there life vs mine (not everybody there's always something worse)
But that's the day I loose a friend.

Anywho, im not normal. I fucked my life up when I 14 by robbing drug dealers and shitting in my own backyard! I have C-PTSD and secondary trauma from which my disassociation pops in and out.

I've been sitting here keeping myself busy which usually involves me having full blown conversations with myself. I'm sure the neighbors hear me sometimes and would agree with my craziness level.

I bought a rope and hook the other day. I've put it in once or twice but I think I'm going to go for a hike, I'm keeping the place I'm in clean, I'll pay my rent for next month. Maybe after that.

Statistically speaking my score of 9 on the ace test cuts like 30 years off an average life, every addiction known to man except heroin. I'm 38 and got to do something before I go crazy and get locked up. So no I don't think making someone happy again is in my cards!

Thank you for sharing this I can relate to you , :( sometimes it's better to just be alone …. It's hard to find people who truly understand … I'm wishing you peace on you're journey and comfort

Doubtful. The last person I was close to told me that everytime we talk, it provokes suffering. And he was right.

this is a mood, everyone I'm close to gets tired of me literally over time. I sometimes wonder if anything is real anymore

I can only make people happy by having them take joy in my suffering, at least intentionally. Unintentionally I seem to make people happy all the time even though they shouldn't be happy about me.

Yes that's a good point about being able to make people happy unintentionally because we aren't able to really understand everyone and what's inside thers heads … I just really assume burden to others and I'm better off alone , or with little contact to most people.. I'm wishing you peace :(

Similar to you, I could only likely do it short term and even then, I suspect cracks would start to show. The real me is just too negative to make someone cheerful long-term.

Plus, when you care about someone, it's upsetting to see them upset and know you probably can't help them. I don't think I could 'get better' for someone else. I think further friendships/ relationships now would just turn in to more tethers eventually.

I guess that whole saying: 'You have to love yourself first' to an extent I think carries weight. Maybe not love exactly but I just wonder- if you're really not ok and maybe more importantly- not actually willing to be helped, is it fair to invite people into your life? I imagine they just end up getting pushed away and hurt- if they do even care to begin with. I have a feeling that would happen with me anyway.

I've also lost trust in people generally anyway. Time and time again, I've been proven right how stupid it is to actually value a connection with someone only to lose it. I guess that will continue to an extent though. It's hard to live entirely as an island.

I do spend a fair bit of time imagining a different life I suppose. Where I turned out more normal and had a partner in some lovey fairytale romance. Maybe I had the potential for that once but not now. It probably doesn't even exist though to be honest! Most relationships I see in real life don't look all that appealing. Most couples I know spend at least as much time bickering and getting annoyed with each other as they do being happy together. Or, at least it seems that way.

I completely agree with you , it's not fair to even invite people into my life honestly ( at this point of suffering it's got to be contagious like a flu or something else. I feel like such a burden sometimes and waste of space …

I'm wishing you peace , and I hope you find freedom from you're suffering

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Similar to you, I could only likely do it short term and even then, I suspect cracks would start to show. The real me is just too negative to make someone cheerful long-term.

Plus, when you care about someone, it's upsetting to see them upset and know you probably can't help them. I don't think I could 'get better' for someone else. I think further friendships/ relationships now would just turn in to more tethers eventually.

I guess that whole saying: 'You have to love yourself first' to an extent I think carries weight. Maybe not love exactly but I just wonder- if you're really not ok and maybe more importantly- not actually willing to be helped, is it fair to invite people into your life? I imagine they just end up getting pushed away and hurt- if they do even care to begin with. I have a feeling that would happen with me anyway.

I've also lost trust in people generally anyway. Time and time again, I've been proven right how stupid it is to actually value a connection with someone only to lose it. I guess that will continue to an extent though. It's hard to live entirely as an island.

I do spend a fair bit of time imagining a different life I suppose. Where I turned out more normal and had a partner in some lovey fairytale romance. Maybe I had the potential for that once but not now. It probably doesn't even exist though to be honest! Most relationships I see in real life don't look all that appealing. Most couples I know spend at least as much time bickering and getting annoyed with each other as they do being happy together. Or, at least it seems that way.

Man you put it perfectly, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I don't want help at this stage, and I'm not even sure if it would be possible to help me even if I did want it, so I've concluded that it would be unethical to willingly invite someone into my life.