Discussion Do you think you can be friends with your ex?

[miles-away]

Is it possible? Does it just lead to more heartbreak? Is it just a way to keep someone on the back burner?

 

[Lady_V]

Is it just a way to keep someone on the back burner?

I think this is exactly the reason. My ex keeps contacting me begging to be friends, and I just keep refusing. Pretty sure he just wants reassurance he didn't fuck me up tm and for me to do more emotional labor for him.

 

[violetforever]

when i've seen that happen it was obvious those two people still had feelings for each other. even with both being in new long term relationships. i feel sick lol.

 

[Dejected 55]

Depends on who you are and who your ex is... It's possible for people to be involved, come to a realization mutually that they don't work as good as they initially thought, and part ways amicably and be able to remain friends. It is just SUPER rare for all kinds of reasons including, many people can't handle it... it wasn't mutual (one wanted to break up more than the other)... one decides later they miss being with someone, anyone, and it's easier to turn back to a previous partner than someone new... and I could go on.

Nothing wrong with considering it IF you're both mature about it... but don't go into it with blinders.

 

[dieingasap]

i think it's possible for me
But the opponent person might not be ready due to emotional attachments

 

[Forveleth]

It is extremely possible to be friends with an ex. It just depends on the two people and what attitudes they have towards each other. I think a lot of it has to do with the maturity of the two people and how they handle the breakup. Is it angry and ugly or do they sit down and agree that they are not compatible and move on with their lives?

 

[foreverfalling]

I'd like to think it's possible if there's genuine love between both people. Not a transactional or lustful love. Just wanting the best for each other.

But that's seriously even harder to do than the relationship in the first place.

 

[U. A.]

Yes it is possible; no not everyone can pull it off.

 

[LittleSunshine]

I've seen plenty of examples around me where it was and is possible. But mainly with the older generation...

 

[maylurker]

yes please

 

[greenbeans]

My bestfriend is my ex but we are only friends because we ended on good terms. I believe its only possible to be friends if it dosent end in heartbreak.

 

[LunarPyotr]

For me it could be possible but only when the ending of such an relationship wasn't dramatic or too bad

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've witnessed it with divorced married couples. Maybe not initially afterwards but they became good friends- maybe best friends afterwards.

 

[Dejected 55]

The other side of this coin is... If you think you can be "just" friends with an ex... what happens the next time you're in a new relationship... do you think it would bother you if your new romantic partner is friends with their ex? Would you accept that they are "just" friends? What if your partner doesn't feel comfortable with you being friends with an ex?

In this case I'm not talking about a situation where you share children with an ex... that's a different situation.

I've heard people who assert they are good friends with an ex and get mad if anyone questions it... but then when they are in a romantic relationship they get jealous if their partner spends time with an ex... so... even if you think you have one, you might find you don't believe anyone else can have one.