Discussion Do you think you are ill?

[SUlClDE]

Never been to a psychiatrist and can't go but I have mental issues, sometimes I wonder if I'm ill. Is anyone else like this?

 

[Chabrychek]

Well I believe most people with suicidal thoughts are mentally ill

But it's strange to be aware of your illness and watch your own mind deteriorate, yet at the same time be able to analyze what is happening to you quite rationally. This is the difference from psychosis

 

[OzymandiAsh]

Yes. However, we also live in an ill world.
"It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

[Nexvyr]

Sorry for the bad English and long venting.

I honestly, when I think about it, don't think that I am mentally ill.

I do not feel depressed since I am never sad anymore. I feel unable to truly feel any emotions anymore (it has been that way for the last 5 years). Lately I have even felt unable to sympathize with other people or feel genuine love for my family.

Lately I have gone to sex clubs a couple times and had sex with old men even though I don't actually want to (I'm asexual), in hope of feeling something. This have been working somewhat, and caused me to temporarily feel like shit again (better than feeling nothing).

For me, it feels like I experience myself and my surroundings from a fully objective non-sentimental perspective.

However, I feel that my ability to think and speak normally have deteriorated, possibly due to high workload and recently been very close to burn out.

TL,DR: I don't think I am mentally ill, but I am not normal.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm "sick" of my life and the world if that counts.

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

Define "ill".

I'm stuck in a situational depressive state. I've been in and out of it for the last 2 years at age 60. Was never depressed or anxious previously.

 

[worstOFsociety]

I personally consider myself to be mentally ill, I also study psychology so tend to have a bit of a medical point of view too when it comes to mental disorders. Which btw is really ironic since I basically know tht Im fcked in the head and what causes it and I still can't manage to get better lol Like I'm pretty self aware of what's going on and why I feel like sht and Im technically doing all the right things to get better but I'm still not managing to get better lol

 

[Untoten_]

Yea, what kind of person's only positive thought (and not one of anxiety) is that this will be their last year. It's probably weird being emotionless about it, therefore there is something incredibly wrong with me. It is what it is right?

 

[Hawkeye101]

Yes. Treatment resistant depression with crippling anhedonia. 56 years is enough.

 

[Untoten_]

Sorry for the bad English and long venting.

I honestly, when I think about it, don't think that I am mentally ill.

I do not feel depressed since I am never sad anymore. I feel unable to truly feel any emotions anymore (it has been that way for the last 5 years). Lately I have even felt unable to sympathize with other people or feel genuine love for my family.

Lately I have gone to sex clubs a couple times and had sex with old men even though I don't actually want to (I'm asexual), in hope of feeling something. This have been working somewhat, and caused me to temporarily feel like shit again (better than feeling nothing).

For me, it feels like I experience myself and my surroundings from a fully objective non-sentimental perspective.

However, I feel that my ability to think and speak normally have deteriorated, possibly due to high workload and recently been very close to burn out.

TL,DR: I don't think I am mentally ill, but I am not normal.

You said it better than I did tbh and I'm a native english speaker. We're both in the same postion.

 

[thelostautistic]

This is an interesting conversation. Because I've been feeling suicidal for so long now it has become normal to me. I forgot that not everyone feels this way. I was very desensitised to my issues. But only a few days ago I realised how unwell I actually am. I found and ordered something to end my life. Once I made that transaction the realisation of how ill I was hit me and it made me feel quite sad.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Well I believe most people with suicidal thoughts are mentally ill

But it's strange to be aware of your illness and watch your own mind deteriorate, yet at the same time be able to analyze what is happening to you quite rationally. This is the difference from psychosis

Yep. On one hand, I'm not functioning/taking care of myself. So I'm sick in a sense. But I think I see myself more clearly now than ever and I was deluded before.

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

Yep. On one hand, I'm not functioning/taking care of myself. So I'm sick in a sense. But I think I see myself more clearly now than ever and I was deluded before.

My therapist told me that those are symptoms of depression... Not functioning /taking care of yourself. "sick and " ill " are both very broad terms

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

My therapist told me that those are symptoms of depression... Not functioning /taking care of yourself. "sick and " ill " are both very broad terms

I am depressed. I just think I have good reason to be.

 

[Hollowman]

Yep. On one hand, I'm not functioning/taking care of myself. So I'm sick in a sense. But I think I see myself more clearly now than ever and I was deluded before.

Same here

 

[FuneralCry]

No never, I don't see what could be ill about wanting to never suffer in this torturous, dreadful existence ever again, this evil existence that just causes harm, torture and suffering will always be the problem.

It's just so terrible to me how humans force this existence that just causes all this dreadful suffering all for the sake of it onto others where there is no limit as to how much one can be tortured yet call others ill for wanting to be permanently at peace from it.


I'll just always see existence as the problem, to me existence is always the most terrible mistake that just harms and tortures existing beings, to be conscious burdened with this existence truly is an abomination and I find it so horrific how a human can be tortured in this existence for decades longer just to face the agony of old age, for me ceasing to exist is the positive solution to escape from the suffering, cruelty and torture of existing and I wish I never suffered more than anything.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm truly just unsure. A diagnosis either way wouldn't surprise me. My issue is that I've felt like this for so long, it's become a part of my character. So- seeing as there isn't so much of a before and after for me, it's not like there's a 'normal' state to refer to.

I was diagnosed by a college therapist/ my GP with mild to moderate depression over 10 years ago. But then- I imagine a great deal of people would come out with that diagnosis. So, I wonder how significant it really even is these days. Loads of people are disatisfied enough with their lives to be unhappy.

I have self diagnosed myself with certain things though. Limerence (obsessive crushes on people,) borderline eating disorders and (mild to moderate I would say) social anxiety.

If I have anything though, it isn't exactly debilitating. I can still function. I just don't want to! That's also something I wonder about though. Is my lethargy/ apathy medically justified or, am I just lazy? I suppose I tend to think it's a mixture.

That's what frustrates me though. It's unlikely I'd be considered ill enough to qualify for benefits. But presumably- they wouldn't consider me well enough to rationalise that I want to end my life. I don't see why they should get to have it both ways! Either we're not rational- so- we shouldn't have responsibilities expected of us or- we are- and it ought to be recognised we can in fact make autonomous decisions that ought to be respected.

 

[Arvayn]

While I was diagnosed as being schizoid, I don't particularly view it as a mental illness. It does not impair my functioning or cause me any distress, and my life hums along just fine. So, as per the label, yes, I am ill... but de facto? Not really.

 

[OzymandiAsh]

Yes. Treatment resistant depression with crippling anhedonia. 56 years is enough.

Sorry to hear. If I was that old (well done for making it so far btw) I would maybe think about 'CTB' by overeating and getting really fat/diabetes, or oversmoking, or something along those lines.

While I was diagnosed as being schizoid, I don't particularly view it as a mental illness. It does not impair my functioning or cause me any distress, and my life hums along just fine. So, as per the label, yes, I am ill... but de facto? Not really.

But you hang out on a suicide forum. Surely that makes all of us 'ill' to some degree? At least that's how the healthcare system views it.

 

[reticulator]

I personally consider myself to be mentally ill, I also study psychology so tend to have a bit of a medical point of view too when it comes to mental disorders. Which btw is really ironic since I basically know tht Im fcked in the head and what causes it and I still can't manage to get better lol Like I'm pretty self aware of what's going on and why I feel like sht and Im technically doing all the right things to get better but I'm still not managing to get better lol

I'm the same as you! I realized I was different and mentally ill from a young age, and ended up being diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety disorder as my official diagnosis! People told me it would probably calm down with age, but unfortunately that hasn't been the case. I have some periods where I feel a little better, but never 100 percent functional. I went on anti depressants that helped somewhat, but they basically kill all your emotions as well and for me they made me not care about anyone else but myself. I also have rage issues when the depression lifts a bit, but I never feel a moment of peace or happiness anymore.

 

[Arvayn]

But you hang out on a suicide forum. Surely that makes all of us 'ill' to some degree? At least that's how the healthcare system views it.

I am not depressed or suicidal, so that doesn't apply to me. I am a morbid, taboo person, and I frequent this website for the information and the unique forms of social interaction; but if we started labeling all abnormal behaviors as mentally ill, every single human on the planet would be ill. The motive behind a behavior matters quite a lot, as well as whether it causes dysfunction in the individual. Wanting to kill yourself and make yourself worse is... well, pretty dysfunctional (I do not mean to shame anyone here, just explaining the medical reasoning behind labeling it as an illness.).

 

[reticulator]

No never, I don't see what could be ill about wanting to never suffer in this torturous, dreadful existence ever again, this evil existence that just causes harm, torture and suffering will always be the problem.

It's just so terrible to me how humans force this existence that just causes all this dreadful suffering all for the sake of it onto others where there is no limit as to how much one can be tortured yet call others ill for wanting to be permanently at peace from it.


I'll just always see existence as the problem, to me existence is always the most terrible mistake that just harms and tortures existing beings, to be conscious burdened with this existence truly is an abomination and I find it so horrific how a human can be tortured in this existence for decades longer just to face the agony of old age, for me ceasing to exist is the positive solution to escape from the suffering, cruelty and torture of existing and I wish I never suffered more than anything.

Well in my country at least, it's all about the money. As long as they feel like they can extract money from your or your family you are "profitable". Once everything is gone and you end up homeless, only then can they really not give a shit if you live or die. It's also pretty much impossible to collect disability benefits for just severe mental illness. He'll even some stage 3 or even 4 cancer patients get denied. Meanwhile, the psychopathic billionaires get wealthier and wealthier every passing day.

I am not depressed or suicidal, so that doesn't apply to me. I am a morbid, taboo person, and I frequent this website for the information and the unique forms of social interaction; but if we started labeling all abnormal behaviors as mentally ill, every single human on the planet would be ill. The motive behind a behavior matters quite a lot, as well as whether it causes dysfunction in the individual. Wanting to kill yourself and make yourself worse is... well, pretty dysfunctional (I do not mean to shame anyone here, just explaining the medical reasoning behind labeling it as an illness.).

I'm glad you're not mentally ill. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I have a wife and son, so it's just a terrible situation to be this mentally ill. Just trying to navigate life or think rationally seems impossible lately, as the brain fog from the depression and constant suicidal thoughts worsens.

I'm just trying to examine what caused me to get this bad. I was bullied in school, and couldn't really fit in with people, they could always sense I was a bit "off". So that isolation further compromised my mental health I'm sure. I actually held down a job for more than a decade before, but my mental health rapidly deteriorated during the Covid situation, and never entirely bounced back. At that point I did lose my job due to mental health issues unfortunately. I survived off gig work, and a "family business" for now, but now with the economy the way it is you can't live off gig work anymore. Right now I feel like a drain on my families resources, and not really able to contribute much due to my mental state. I try to take care of my toddler as best I can, while my wife is trying to hold it down on the other end.

I never thought it would get this bad.

 

[slowlydying2mrrw]

Never been to a psychiatrist and can't go but I have mental issues, sometimes I wonder if I'm ill. Is anyone else like this?

I have borderline personality disorder. I have a difficult time regulating my emotions. I constantly hate myself and feel nothing but emptiness inside. If I'm not in an emotional spiral, disassociating, or pretending to enjoy life, I'm constantly suicidal. The worst thing than what I have is if I ever had a child, I could give it to them. So to answer your question, yes, I do.

Well I believe most people with suicidal thoughts are mentally ill

But it's strange to be aware of your illness and watch your own mind deteriorate, yet at the same time be able to analyze what is happening to you quite rationally. This is the difference from psychosis

It's called Borderline Personality disorder. :) we get to experience all the psychosis without the actual break from reality while wishing we didn't exist. Suicidality is the top trait within BPD.

Most people with suicidal thoughts aren't mentally ill. They are expanding on a curiosity that passes in quiet thought. Many just have the thoughts, but never act.

People with BPD are at high risk of both. I've accepted my mental illnesses because normal people couldn't tolerate me.

 

[somethingisntreal]

People tend to think I am, but honestly they just treat it as something to pin all my suicidal thoughts on because in their heads, if you're suicidal you MUST be sick and abnormal. They don't want to address the real issue - that life in general is full of meaningless suffering and wanting an out is a completely reasonable choice.

 

[sanctionedusage]

just because i'm suicidal? no. suicide is a normal and logical solution to permanent problems, or to preserve your own dignity. i want the best for myself, so i'm gonna kill myself.

otherwise? yes

 

[reticulator]

just because i'm suicidal? no. suicide is a normal and logical solution to permanent problems, or to preserve your own dignity. i want the best for myself, so i'm gonna kill myself.

otherwise? yes

True it depends on situation of course. Some problems are inescapable, like a terminal illness or facing a life sentence of incarceration. For most healthy people, it is possible to turn your life around, and most mentally healthy people don't actively want to kill themselves even in objectively hopeless situations like permanent incarceration.

 

[hurb]

just because i'm suicidal? no. suicide is a normal and logical solution to permanent problems, or to preserve your own dignity. i want the best for myself, so i'm gonna kill myself.

i could never agree more , being suicidal is logical. if u dont enjoy a game u will stop playing.
society calls us ill for not liking how society is , for thinking of out the box and be suicidal instead of being ok with getting fucked by life on the daily

 

[reticulator]

i could never agree more , being suicidal is logical. if u dont enjoy a game u will stop playing.
society calls us ill for not liking how society is , for thinking of out the box and be suicidal instead of being ok with getting fucked by life on the daily

Oh yeah society is dogshit and it's only getting worse. People with legitimate mental illness really have no place anymore, and the simple jobs that we could do before, like gig work are drying up. I wish I had been born with just one special talent, just one! But nope, I had shit social skills, was not athletic, the only thing I had going for me was being decently handsome which I should have banked on more! It allowed me to coast in my 20s, but now in my late 30s it's definitely not enough anymore.

I had some intellectual potential, but my constant anxiety and depression damaged the cognitive abilities I used to have. My memory is not good anymore, and my ability to logically think through processes is also not good. Severe mental illness definitely gives some sort of brain damage because I'm not nearly as sharp as I used to be.

It's sad to say but I think I would have ended up in this situation or worse regardless of the choices I made. I was bullied relentlessly as a kid, never picked for the sports team, and was only moderately academically gifted, but I had zero social skills which is what gets you ahead in society.

It's also hard because on the outside, things look pretty okay. But inside I feel like shit, have zero confidence and self esteem, and coasted on my fading looks which is the one thing I had going for me.