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DiscussionDo you think you are ill?
Thread starterSUlClDE
Start date
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never feel selfish for considering the most difficult act you could ever put yourself through no matter how people twist the narrative to express their grief, you're the one who's going to be objectively affected most by your decision. that's inherently unselfish. i wish you could've had a better shot in life.
I'm the same as you! I realized I was different and mentally ill from a young age, and ended up being diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety disorder as my official diagnosis! People told me it would probably calm down with age, but unfortunately that hasn't been the case. I have some periods where I feel a little better, but never 100 percent functional. I went on anti depressants that helped somewhat, but they basically kill all your emotions as well and for me they made me not care about anyone else but myself. I also have rage issues when the depression lifts a bit, but I never feel a moment of peace or happiness anymore.
Yeah pretty much the same here. There are periods of time where I feel alright but never quite Idk normal Ig? Like I never really feel happy. My "good" phases is basically me just feeling numb and going through the motions. Meanwhile when it gets bad I sometimes even end up hallucinating lol, small things like flying eyes, the light switch being deformed or small specks of white swimming around. Although I realize that these are jst hallucinations so I'm clearly not psychotic or anything. Just creeps me out and causes me to have anxiety and panic attacks sometimes. I was diagnosed with depression at 14 and put on anti-depressants at 16 lol which I had to stop abruptly making me really suicidal. I've seen maybe 10 specialists in regards to my mental health in total. Was out and in of therapy for 4 years too.
I mean I know that things get better for some ppl and things have technically gotten better for me too jst not when it comes to my mental health.
Anyways I did have one good experience with a therapist that actually helped me work through some stuff but he ended up changing jobs lol and haven't found anyone else I actually connect with so kinda done trying. Feel like most therapist jst end up pitying u which I absolutely detest.
Only diagnosed "illness" for me is epilepsy. I feel uncomfortable trying to self-diagnose and I don't really want to visit a doctor either because I don't have the money for all that.
never feel selfish for considering the most difficult act you could ever put yourself through no matter how people twist the narrative to express their grief, you're the one who's going to be objectively affected most by your decision. that's inherently unselfish. i wish you could've had a better shot in life.
Only diagnosed "illness" for me is epilepsy. I feel uncomfortable trying to self-diagnose and I don't really want to visit a doctor either because I don't have the money for all that.
That's a pretty big deal though! It forbids you from driving right? Which makes it almost impossible to survive in most places in America, which I assume is your location given your last statement!
Being broke with a disability is not a bad reason to want to give up, so don't feel bad at all.
I do think, in some way, im ill. Everytime i truly talk about my feelings no one relates, they all look at me weird. I haven't truly vented to anyone about everything but even when i drop somewhat small things i can tell they dont feel connected with what im saying. Although i dont think im different, in no way do i mean to have an individuality complex but i just feel like the only way for me to stop being so misunderstood is for me to speak to an equally ill individual.
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