do you think things could have been different?

[clearing eyes]

if my parents had believed me when i said i needed help so long ago at age 9, i probably wouldn't be this bad. is it the same for you?

 

[fluffysuicidalbear]

Yeah I get what you mean, I probably would be a lot better off if I got the help I needed a long time ago before it got this bad.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

if my parents had believed me when i said i needed help so long ago at age 9, i probably wouldn't be this bad. is it the same for you?

I sometimes think like this, but is it really useful to imagine a different past for ourselves?
I mean, the past cannot be changed, and we can only act in the present based on what we know currently, and how all the events in our lives led us to this point.

 

[rt1989526]

In my case, seeking help is what destroyed me. I was put on several medications that have permanently destroyed my mind and body. SSRIs are evil, don't ever take them!!!!!

I also developed Borderline Personality in my adolescence. Had I had some better support around me perhaps I couldve managed it better and not had to turn to drugs. Things could have been way different, yes.

 

[clearing eyes]

I sometimes think like this, but is it really useful to imagine a different past for ourselves?
I mean, the past cannot be changed, and we can only act in the present based on what we know currently, and how all the events in our lives led us to this point.

i've stopped caring about what's useful, honestly

In my case, seeking help is what destroyed me. I was put on several medications that have permanently destroyed my mind and body. SSRIs are evil, don't ever take them!!!!!

I also developed Borderline Personality in my adolescence. Had I had some better support around me perhaps I couldve managed it better and not had to turn to drugs. Things could have been way different, yes.

yeah, i was screwed up by an ssri too. i was thinking more in terms of therapy, because i was clearly traumatized but my parents just made it worse by screaming at me and punishing me for "acting out"

 

[rt1989526]

i've stopped caring about what's useful, honestly

yeah, i was screwed up by an ssri too. i was thinking more in terms of therapy, because i was clearly traumatized but my parents just made it worse by screaming at me and punishing me for "acting out"

Therapy was what I needed. Therapy should always be the first method used, drugs an absolute last resort. But in todays world its the opposite, psychiatrists would rather drug you and get paid out by big pharma than try and help you with CBT or DBT. Its all a business. They don't give a fuck about their patients.

 

[clearing eyes]

Therapy was what I needed. Therapy should always be the first method used, drugs an absolute last resort. But in todays world its the opposite, psychiatrists would rather drug you and get paid out by big pharma than try and help you with CBT or DBT. Its all a business. They don't give a fuck about their patients.

yep. the psychiatrist i initially went to didn't care about what i had to say at all. i complained that the meds she gave me made me almost completely catatonic, but she just increased the dosage every time. she never took my vitals, either.

 

[iDieUDie80]

No, life events in my late teens turned me to depression and suicidal ideation.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

i was screwed up by an ssri too

What was the ssri, and how long did you take it?

 

[clearing eyes]

What was the ssri, and how long did you take it?

luvox, i have no idea how long i took it. it was 2 years ago and i can barely remember anything

 

[esse_est_percipi]

just increased the dosage every time

Yes, they often do this. It's because they have no answers, are incapable of actually treating you as a real person, and have no ability to empathize. Increasing dosages or changing medication is a quick, easy reaction, and they will still get paid the same regardless. Without caring about the possible bad effects the medication could have on you. It's all totally messed up.

 

[iDieUDie80]

Yes, they often do this. It's because they have no answers, are incapable of actually treating you as a real person, and have no ability to empathize. Increasing dosages or changing medication is a quick, easy reaction, and they will still get paid the same regardless. Without caring about the possible bad effects the medication could have on you. It's all totally messed up.

I don't know that this is necessarily true. I was seeing a therapist who did not specialize in OCD, and thus was completely unhelpful (as talk therapy usually is for OCD sufferers) and he just put me on high doses of zoloft. You need to find the therapist that can help you best. Therapists specializing in OCD and ERP seem to understand me sooo much better.

But yeah, that therapist was an ass. Would never get to the roots of my anxiety and insisted that we had to keep scheduling appointments, even though he wasn't helping me at all. Finally got out of it.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I was just saying this last night (to my Sexual Abuse/Traume Group) - that if someone had taken me seriously when I confessed (at age 5) I wouldn't have 90% of the problems I do.

But they didn't and I do.

 

[W3akCr3atur3]

If I haven't moved to a different country 3 years ago and experienced worst times in my life ever things could've been better. Even getting (pretty much) back isn't helping me anymore.

 

[rt1989526]

What was the ssri, and how long did you take it?

I was prescribed Celexa for my OCD, then Zoloft then Prozac when that didnt work. My OCD faded away and I stopped the SSRI, and now I can barely feel my genitals and they dont work properly anymore. Its called PSSD (post SSRI sexual dysfunction), it has completely ruined my life to the point that I am here. There was no warning from any doctor about this. Ive basically been chemically castrated.

 

[BlackCatTalk]

No, maybe if time could turn back

 

[AllReturnsToNothing]

Nope. There is a quote that says the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant, but it's wrong and from a childrens cartoon about magical monsters. The people who birthed and raised me fucked me over just by the nature of having to be their child. You'd think having multiple siblings to relate to would make it better but since we're all so profoundly fucked up in unique ways it's impossible to share any baggage. Doesn't help being born autistic in a world where you're just seen as dead weight. Being this way was always the inevitable.

 

[catsarecool]

I started acting out and skipping school at age 10 thanks to childhood trauma and bullying. I would be forced to go to a child therapist or a councellor but I was never taken seriously. They would make me fill BDIs over and over again but everytime the results pointed to moderate depression it would be brushed off with "you're young" "summer is almost here you'll feel better" "think positive thoughts". I had a school employee come into my house and yell and berate me for not getting up from bed and calling me lazy. I've had a mental health professional berate me for opening up about my suicidal feelings, accusing that I'm just trying to guilt trip my parents and that I wouldn't die anyways if I tried what I was planning. Schools here say big things about preventing bullying but nothing is ever really done.

All of this with my childhood has left me with inability to trust mental health professionals and people in general. I have a hard time talking about my feelings in as it never did me any good before. My self-esteem is non-existent.

If my childhood didn't destroy me, the "help" i was given sure did.

 

[Harleyyy]

I think these types of conversations trigger more feelings of sadness and depression, atleast from my point of view, "what could have been", "i wish it didn't happen" but guess what? It did and it did fuck you up bad. I spend most of my time dwelling on small things which fucked me up, but that isn't going to reverse what happened right? You gotta live with this shit. Brutal.

 

[Mercury6737]

I don't think so. I started wanting out once I realized that life was mundane and it only gets worse with age. All I got was, "that's just life" or "just try doing things (i.e. distract yourself)." It's part of the reason why I can't make it beyond a certain point with health professionals because they already have a definition of depression. Apparently, you are allowed to lose interest in everything else in life, but not life itself.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Yes, absolutely. I think about that everyday. It really wouldn't have even taken much but a little went a long way (to fuck things up.)
If I could go back and undue any mistakes my parents have made, and there are many of those, my first choice would be psychiatry. That's something I certainly would've been far better off without. Fuck those know-nothing pseduoscientific dipshits

 

[Dima2]

I don't think so , game is rigged , you either one of the few who can have a decent life , or like most people you stop thinking and just flow with your day

 

[Deformationalplagio]

Well yeah if my mom spended 2000 dollar when i was 1 year old to treat my condition i would now have a normal life without a deformity. But no she didnt want to spend any money on it. And when i ask her about it she says its not her fault and that its not her problem anymore because im now an adult. She is straight up psycho

 

[RRH]

Yes. If I hadn't made a series of poor choices, I wouldn't be in this position.

 

[essic.]

ya, if i hadn't sex before marriage, i wouldn't feel this bad.. being not virgin is the worst thing i could feel now.. i feel so worthless and have no value in life..

 

[bigdog]

Life is a complete scam

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

I believe my life could have been different. Don't know if everything would have been perfect and I may have ended up here anyway. I made a choice based on what someone else had forced on me and became someone in a life I detest.

 

[GravityUtilizer]

No.

 

[Ksab]

Things would have been quite different if my dad hadn't died, I would've been doing things normal people do, and never to find this site.

 

[Sinai Silence]

I'm sure if my parents cared about me and acknowledged my problems it wouldn't have been as bad. Idk if I would've been happy though.