Yes, that is what we have all been told in this culture. I have been trying to figure out how to love myself since I was a teenager... I'm 40 now. Fuck it. Who are all these happy alone people? I'm sure there are those who chose not to have a partner.... thats great. I just don't even get the concept. Its sad... If I have issues with myself thats an open invitation for abuse.... Or at least I just dont have a bouncer at the door of the club... I dunno.....
If loving myself felt as good as someone else loving me i would do it in a heartbeat!!! i have always wondered why when i look in the mirror and say "I love you" it doesnt have the same impact as when someone else that I value does..
I'm so sick of the subject though... its a part of my trauma. I just want to die and say fuck it. If we are created supposedly for love: but then the very thing we are created for is also the hardest thing to cultivate, achieve, gain, share or whatever...then life is just designed all fucked up. I wish that love was a built in baseline, but no---- there has to be all kinds of fundamental brokenness..... I could be poor, I could be ugly, I could not have enought to eat, I would gladly exchange many of my first world priviledges to engage in real love on a daily basis. To me everythign else is bullshit, fame money, cars, name -brands.... nope. But I guess I'm broken and can't even do love, unless its toxic or dysfunctional... and after the trauma of last summer..... well, I'm never doing anything toxic/pathological ever again . So its either get healed and find that elusive "self-love" inner happiness, "a relationship is optional because I love myself and my life soo /much.." level or die.