Do you think it's better for people to know you're suicidal or at least thinking about it or for nobody to know at all and it be a surprise to everyon

[Theon]

DON'T TELL ANYONE. All you will do is cause endless worry as well as risk getting locked up in a psych hospital. I had an "attempt" but actually nowhere near close to doing it. Everyone told me to tell my psychiatrist. I did. And he told me to go the the ER or he would call the cops. Three days on a "voluntary" hold at a psych hospital which was a nightmare. And now I can't buy a gun for five years (a method that certainly would've been more of an option than most of the other methods out there).

 

[barny]

In 2012 I had a serious withdrawel syndrome (Effexor/SSRI), an abortion, and the love of my life suddenly left me. All in one week. My doctor told me to slow down and rest. Focus on myself instead of using energy on others (especially my mum, having a chronic disease, very demanding).
I had to tell my mum to give me space. I needed some time on my own. I couldn't be there for her all the time.

She didn't understand. She couldn't relate. She got angry and came bothering me as nothing had happened. Eventually I screamed at her, furiously. Told her I didn't wanna live anymore.
Bang! 3 hours later, the psyc ward came to my house, forced themselves in and drove me to a psyciatric hospital (first and last time).

That's my story, and personally I would NEVER tell anyone directly that I want to ctb.

My best luck to you.
Lots of love

so sorry that's awful. I can relate in that my mum doesn't have a real physical health problem but is slightly mental, and very demanding, playing games, the whole time is about her, if I say I feel ill or have stomach pain, so does she, if I say im depressed so is she. thing is here, the psych teams crisis team etc dont actually care if you are suicidal, they only care if you have actually done something serious to yourself, so it would be too late.. they dont have any beds to care if you feel bad. plus I think I could just say I made it up, they are pretty stupid and useless lol

 

[Ruffian]

After a break down at my working place, a colleague brought me to the emergency room. I could talk the psychologist out of a clinic stay.
I had tried telling my family for months that I have developed a depression, but was always brushed off.
After I came from the ER, I told them again bluntly "I was at the ER diagnosed with severe depression and suicidal tendencies". It took my mother all but 5 minutes to pack all her stuff and get my dad to drive her to me. She has stayed for a few days and forced me to seek out others doctors.
I'll be starting therapy in a few days and have gotten a little hope that it actually can improve my situation.
So, if you do want actual help, telling someone who cares deeply for you can work.
If you do not want that, I think I wouldn't.
I had subtly been asking for help for months but no one noticed.
I dont think it actually changes much for those who are left behind if they knew beforehand or not. All those left behind will suffer, no matter the circumstances.

I agree, there are those certain people, even if it's only a few, who are going to feel awful and wish they would have done something regardless. That's why I hate this whole promotion about talking about suicide or "having a conversation." I think talking to someone about it can be awful. One of my friends was just like, well you've wanted to kill yourself for a long time, so it wouldn't surprise me." and I just hide it from my other friend, because she would be afraid to intervene because of how angry I would get. That leaves my family and bf. They already know how much I suffer, so if I tell them they will try to commit me. It's really hard to commit another person in my state now though. It think it may be due to opioid crisis, not really sure why, but I tried committing my ex in like 2010 and coudn't. I know someone who tried recently and couldn't either. I also remember when I made serious attempts, I didn't tell anyone, I just did it.

 

[Kmf123]

Do not mention it to anyone you know. The best advice is from people online

 

[DoesANameEvenMatter]

Do not tell anybody. I told my Plan A to my friends because I wanted them to know and understand and, as I expected, they called the cops and I had a visit. Lying to the cops and faking everything was easy but I was no longer able to commit to the hard deadline I had set (June 27, 2019). I still have back up plans but I'm being watched every few minutes by my parents due to the cop visit so I'll have to wait it out. Nothing matters though, I'll probably get my stuff ready and CTB any day. Telling others will make them feel guilty about knowing but not having done anything if the time were to come. They will definitely attempt to do something, even if they understand/sympathize with your struggles. It's stupid really, but it is what it is.

 

[TooLate2582]

I've never told anyone outright, but they won't be surprised.

 

[21Neberg]

Hey @DepressionsAHo , whether or not you should tell your mom I think depends on your situation. Knowing your mom, how will she handle that information? What you don't want to happen is that she'll follow your every move like a helicopter. On the other hand, telling her might strengthen the bond between you two and she could be 'your rock' in times where you need some support the most. Telling someone could help.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

Oh I didn't know this blew up. Haven't been on in a while. Anyways, yes, I'm not telling anyone I'm outright suicidal. I guess I'm testing the waters by bringing up rational suicide to a select few people. Trying to make them understand the concept of things like final exit and the end of life clinic in the Netherlands. My best friend is trying to get me to write on this mental health forum that her friend created but I'm highly resistant to it because if I do, she'd know who it was

Hey @DepressionsAHo , whether or not you should tell your mom I think depends on your situation. Knowing your mom, how will she handle that information? What you don't want to happen is that she'll follow your every move like a helicopter. On the other hand, telling her might strengthen the bond between you two and she could be 'your rock' in times where you need some support the most. Telling someone could help.

Hey 21, if you read the first page of this, a couple other people asked the same question. It's not that I wanna be saved. I'm a goner no matter what, it's just an innate urge to not be written off as a statistic and "another crazy person". She's devoutly christain, she understands depression, just not to my or other people's on here level. She doesn't understand how it feels to feel like this everyday. We've talked a little about it, she and I agree that every person in this world has or will have suicidal THOUGHTS at one point or a moment of "gosh it would be easier if I was dead" but there's a profound difference between a passing thought and a plan. For a while she was texting me everyday but she hasn't in a while.