Do you think if you looked better you wouldn't be this suicidal?

[NumbItAll]

Yes I would love to be highly attractive instead of being a worthless loser. Since I am male I would not be worried about harassment/safety issues. I would not mind being objectified either and would probably like that attention tbh.

 

[tiger b]

OP asked a personal question: Do you think if YOU looked better you wouldn't be this suicidal?

I think it's quite bold from you to assume that everyone in here who replied with a "no" is delusional, especially considering you don't know the background of them, just like you don't know the background of me.

Just what I was thinking seconds before you posted this. I felt the question - a very thoughtful one - calls for individual answers.

 

[Sunoo]

Like if people enjoyed your company and wanted to be around you and treated you better would you still be on this site today?
Because this is kind of one of my reasons to why I want to disappear. Maybe I'm sensitive and take people's actions towards me out of context but Idk

Damn this is the most views and replies I have gotten so I feel a bit overwhelmed I just wanted to make it a bit more clear that:
Sorry, I think I've worded my question really wrong. What I meant to ask was: Would life be more bearable if you were more physically appealing or more socially accepted to people and more confident. Because how people treat me is what makes me think I'm this or that if that makes sense, which leads me to a lot of self hatred over time. I agree that being attractive does not mean it fixes all your problems I was not trying to say that what I meant was that: would it have made a difference in your life if you were considered more attractive? I feel like my question made some people annoyed which was not my intention at all. I'm really sorry I made that post while I was having some breakdown so I was not really giving much thought and process when writing it.

Just what I was thinking seconds before you posted this. I felt the question - a very thoughtful one - calls for individual answers.

Yes that's what I meant. No one is right or wrong I just wanted to hear from people's perspectives

 

[lopsidedcrawdad1]

No. good looks are temporary because of aging and a person can become dependent on "pretty privilege" so having it and then losing it can be detrimental to the mental health of a lot of once attractive people. I think it's best to be average looking and being okay with aging and becoming uglier.

Exactly what happened to me. Was always attractive as a teenager but was completely oblivious to it until 18 when I realized it and actually started to really enjoy life. Then a year later I noticed I was rapidly losing my hair and now im not attractive at all. Really sucked to go from not liking myself, to loving myself for a year, then straight back to hating myself.

 

[tiger b]

What I meant to ask was: Would life be more bearable if you were more appealing or more socially accepting to people and more confident.

I presume you mean acceptable rather than accepting. By appealing I think you mean physically appealing?

In the past: I would have been substituting one set of mistakes for another. I would have slept with one 'kind' of person instead of another. I might have had different combinations of thoughts. But ultimately it's still passing time. The confidence was bluster, like most people's.

Now: no. Because I don't need blanket approval from 'people' in general these days, I'm not saying I'd court disapproval irl but there's only certain people I'd really listen hard to, or even find attractive when they opened their mouths and really revealed themselves.

It's all just passing time imo.

 

[𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗹𝘆]

When your menatl suffers it ruins your perception of yourself no matter how amazing you could be in every way so my answer is no. When you're broken you can't see yourself for what others see you so in that case I don't think looks matter in the slightest.

 

[brokeandbroken]

In order to answer this I would have to know why society is unwilling to help me. To right the wrongs against me as the social contract with society entails. Why I've been quintessentially left for dead. I don't know why. Truly I don't. I can speculate which I will do.

Are my looks a factor? I don't know. I've been homeless, in psychwards, and IRTS facilities for 7/8 months now. I've seen in the kindest possible way people who have lived hard lives (and easy lives). People of all skin colors. Many in and out of prison/jail for all sorts of things. I've seen a lot of people get multiple second chances. Prostitutes, drug dealers, pedophiles, you name it. Contrary to belief these people were all shades of the rainbow. The vast majority of these people had support (very few exceptions). Growing up both poor and rich everywhere in between. In fact, what I haven't met is myself. Someone not given a second chance or in my case really a first chance. Someone capable but not given the opportunity. In fact I've seen the opposite more times then I can count people incapable and given the opportunity. Which begs the question where is my opportunity? Where is my help? The help I need exists they just don't want to help me. From what I've seen they only help those that aren't white. From what I've seen allowing someone who grew up upper middle class and white to be robbed of everything and predictably suicidal is just about the funniest thing in the world to them. My death which is again predictable... In fact I'd surmise I'm quite late in their opinion for the bus. Is something that will fill their heart with happiness. Case and point they'll bend over backwards forwards and every which way for a traitorous pedophile as long as he is black. But a former aspiring oncologist in medical school whose a victim of a crime a bridge too far. All I heard in undergrad was how white people are just the worst. That we shouldn't be helped. That on the rungs of society we don't even get one. Case and point on the scale Jews are higher on the societal ladder and we just saw as a world as Jewish babies were beheaded in the streets, women raped, etc... These same people are taking the side of those that did this. Straight white males below them on the social ladder? No surprise. So yes my "looks" in the most general sense matter. It's a shame I wanted to help everyone. I didnt care who they were. Helping me would save my life literally. But that's probably the problem. They don't want my life saved. Better to give the black toothless Prostitute who was coming down from a hard life of partying to go right back to it I met who notably grew up rich who can't get even John's anymore her 87th chance then me 1.

Overall attractiveness. Again studies do show having good attractiveness helps. Am I attractive? No. But I'm not sure it matters.

 

[fiftyfiftyclown]

When I was a teenager I would have thought looking better would fix everything, but now I don't think so. I was considered unattractive in the past, now considered average/cute - but other things have gotten worse. If I were extremely beautiful maybe yes, like enough to be a model or actress and make a living from it. When you're just average/decent looking it's easy to start aspiring for a lifestyle you won't get.
I can only speak as a woman, if you are legit deformed and woke up the next day looking normal, or you lose 500 lbs, I'm sure that would be a significant improvement but for most girls going up or down a few "points" on this sliding scale of attractiveness is not going to fundamentally change anything. You can even see it in the myopic way some people answered here. "My life would be so much better if i were extremely handsome and desirable, instead of ugly," yea sure... wouldn't we all love to wake up like that. but it wouldn't change much actually if you just became average. Most people are not extremely attractive desirable billionaires and they're still content w their lives. I am just an unhappy person.
And no offense but most people who whine about being unattractive are just that. I sympathize with the truly "ugly," like those with genetic abnormalities, but the rest of ya probably fall within the "average" spectrum. You're looking at the lifestyles of a small minority of super beautiful people and wondering why you can't achieve that.
(On the flip side, I would kms if someone poured acid on my face, or if i was struck with some disease that put me in a wheelchair etc. but there are plenty in these situations who manage to live. Different constitutions. Religion probably helps for these types.)

 

[ayb]

Like if people enjoyed your company and wanted to be around you and treated you better would you still be on this site today?
Because this is kind of one of my reasons to why I want to disappear. Maybe I'm sensitive and take people's actions towards me out of context but Idk

Not really. Plenty of handsome charismatic people ended up killing themselves.

 

[voyager]

No neeed, @Sunoo, the question was worded perfectly fine. I think the deal here is that people should guard against becoming what they hate. *cough*

As soon as I started caring about what other people thought of me, my life started going downhill. I became hyperaware of my faults and felt inadequate.

Agree with this too, everyone's individual reasons for suicide aside, puberty, looks and sexuality is like another cut and can break even perfectly happy well-adjusted kids because suddenly there's a new threshold to achieve and many can't because it's purely based on other people's perception.

But others and one's reflection aside, we ultimately don't see ourselves, so assuming we were all blind to each other's appearance, would we really feel better and be at peace with ourselves? It's an individual subjective question, but to me the answer therefore remains no.

 

[LostInTheWoods]

I have a malformation in my face who helped a lot in ruining my life, even because It gave me even pshycial problems. On the other hand, I have a shitty family, so I would have had a shitty upbringing anyway. I would have had still a broken mind. But for my mind problem I take medications and I went to therapy. There is no cure for the isolation I faced because of my looks, and for the fact that people dont take me seriously.

 

[Conker]

Fruits do taste better on the other side, regardless this fake society is very boring & even they would rather the New World Order finally come to an end.

 

[umopep!sdn128]

Nonsense, I don't care one bit. I'm probably an unattractive jerk, but I don't fucking need to attract anyone. I hate my peers, for example, for whom I am supposed to be attractive, they are all just scum. "If" I were successful, attractive, etc. there, I might want to live, but I would be a stupid bastard, like all those who like this life. I can't stand people, and I'm glad that I was given the awareness of how ugly this world is, and I don't even want to be a part of it.