Discussion Do you think if you had a better upbringing & opportunities, you would still be suicidal?

[onewayticket123]

No way. My upbringing is the direct source of intractable mental illnesses, conditioning to jump to worst-case scenarios, paranoia, nightmares, anxiety, severe anhedonia, depression, and a general feeling of hopelessness. If you can't trust the woman who birthed you, who can you trust? Mothers are the only figures in somebody's life that are (supposed to) love unconditionally. Without that love, life doesn't seem worth living even though I am very successful in other areas.

What good is external success if you can't enjoy any of it?

 

[Techef]

I'm CTB'ing due to genetic illnesses passed down from my father's side of the family, but sometimes I wonder if I had a good upbringing with loving parents who knew what they were doing, if things would've turned out differently. Stress and trauma from neglect/abuse might've had a hand in triggering the genetic illnesses. My father also passed when I was in college (and despite the abuse/neglect/weird and traumatic upbringing, things finally seemed to be settling down as both me and my sibling left home for school), and my family never recovered from that. I took on too heavy a burden trying to take care of them and ended up breaking down. I never knew how to set boundaries or take care of myself (instead of giving too much to others).

 

[FogFilledLife]

Most likely.

 

[Yakamoz]

Defo not. I had the opportunities, we have always been kinda rich. But upbringing wise they were so ignorant and cruel. They beat me up for having a GF when I was 14 (banned in Islam). If I had a smooth youth, I would enjoy life more, prolly only commit suicide in my late 60s or smth

 

[アホペンギン]

I would still be suicidal. There are many factors pointing to why I am suicidal, which include my upbringing. If my bad upbringing hadn't been in the picture, I would've had more opportunities in life but of course, there's always the issues with my own mental health. It is predicted that I will develop some sort of mental illness in the near future and knowing how people burdened with mental illnesses are treated and how the quality of their lives are, I refuse to be mentally ill. My suicide would've always happened at some point, there's no avoiding it.

 

[blacksand]

No I'm a lazy weak coward who squandered everything that was handed to me on a platter. As recently as March my dad got me a great job driving a truck for 13 hours a night earning good money and I basically quit within a week. I genuinely don't even know why. That was likely my last escape route from my hometown and a chance to save money and redo college (I'm a dropout). Its over for sure now. I'm a disguising worthless piece of trash who took his youth for granted and now its gone.

 

[Yakamoz]

I would still be suicidal. There are many factors pointing to why I am suicidal, which include my upbringing. If my bad upbringing hadn't been in the picture, I would've had more opportunities in life but of course, there's always the issues with my own mental health. It is predicted that I will develop some sort of mental illness in the near future and knowing how people burdened with mental illnesses are treated and how the quality of their lives are, I refuse to be mentally ill. My suicide would've always happened at some point, there's no avoiding it.

It is predicted? Who does? Science? You mean you have bad genes regarding your mental state?

 

[Klophy]

Tough question, not really sure.

I mean right now, it makes sense. Why everyone else invests so much time into this dead-end route, I can't understand.

Still, a large part of my pain comes from my childhood. My life would've been on a vastly different trajectory without all the abuse and if i'd fully taken every route available to me, at least I hope so.

However, who's to say I won't end up the same? People have gone through far worse than I and come out better. Maybe this is just who I am, and I don't like it.

 

[アホペンギン]

It is predicted? Who does? Science? You mean you have bad genes regarding your mental state?

Bad genetics, everyone in my family and all my ancestors have developed a mental illness at some point in their lives.
I am very similar to my uncle, in terms of the way we acted during our childhood years and early teenage years and my uncle is now very schizophrenic. I display all symptoms of developing schizophrenia soon and I feel some schizophrenic tendencies coming slowly.

 

[huzzahhue56]

I didn't have a great family life and my father died when I was young. I do not blame my past life or family for my current predicament. In fact, I think my life until the last few years has been good. Where I am now is entirely my own fault. I missed a lot of opportunities due to bad decisions. Own it - don't blame others. The other people that you choose to blame are probably stressed out enough with their own lives.

If you made your own life bad thats entirely your problem but you don't know other peoples lives or what they've been through. This is crazy rude

I mean yeah. Being deliberately stunted developmentally by your own mother, the person who's supposed to show you the world isn't a scary place but they would rather use you for their own personal gain fucked me up and how I now view the world.
Been in therapy for 10 years trying to undo all the fucking damage. Relearning the shit you're meant to understand at like 8 years old as an adult definitely puts you at a disadvantage amongst your peers.
I have some amazing qualities, if they were nurtured I would have been great. Instead I've lived in survival mode and now I'm learning how to not do that while while also balance safety. Fuck this shit man it's so confusing.

I'm tired, fucking tired. I wish I had the opportunities other kids had. Simple shit, like being able to make friends without their mums getting jealous and trying to sabotage their relationships.

It makes me so angry because if I wasn't severely abused and had a normie life I would've been fine, obviously nobodys life is gonna be 100% perfect but all I would need to be not suicidal would be to have (theoretical) my life not be a living hell and just have regular people problems like occasional bullying at school or having a fight with friends or something like that, not whatever problems I have right now. I think I'm a person that can deal with alot of shit and I'm strong mentally but whatever I'm going through isn't even normal for a human being to experience and I've been ragged and ran through, I don't deserve this

 

[etherealspring]

i already had a good upbringing / opportunities. so yeah, id still be suicidal. i think it's something within me that's gone wrong