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Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
2,422
My "dreams" are definitely out of reach but also I don't want to fuck myself over in life until I get the balls to actually off myself. So, I'm fighting my depression to try to make the best of my life while I'm alive. Like, I'm currently working on a degree. It sucks ass to be in school but I know I can get a better job and make more money which will be handy if I end up living a while. I buy things occasionally to make myself happy, again, to make myself passable while I'm waiting to die.
 
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Dark Moon

Dark Moon

Elementalist
Sep 21, 2022
826
I'm not that interested in goals, though I was thinking of going back to education.

I would have liked to find a love interest but I don't see that happening.

I would have liked to go on a holiday/travel but I don't have the help/support for that.

I needed a social worker to help with me things but well I can't seem to get that.

Goals are difficult for me to achieve when death is on my mind a lot of the time and when I'm Neurodivergent.

I'm stuck here for the time being.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,496
My "dreams" are definitely out of reach but also I don't want to fuck myself over in life until I get the balls to actually off myself. So, I'm fighting my depression to try to make the best of my life while I'm alive. Like, I'm currently working on a degree. It sucks ass to be in school but I know I can get a better job and make more money which will be handy if I end up living a while. I buy things occasionally to make myself happy, again, to make myself passable while I'm waiting to die.

This is exactly it for me too. Like- most of the enthusiasm and motivation has gone but it makes sense for me not to make things worse for myself while I'm still alive.
 
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avalokitesvara

avalokitesvara

bodhisattva
Nov 28, 2024
301
I have an extremely strong drive to do one specific thing (become a monk). Before I came to that I never had any goals or dreams, and never had. It was all reacting to external pressure or living up to an image of myself imposed by others. I have no interest in living for any other reason. I don't feel love or pleasure in ways that seem to motivate other people. My only voluntary acts are to maintain a basic comfort/survival. If I can't live my dream then I'll be gone.
 
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