do you still cry?

[AstroV]

Occasionally..

 

[Kurai]

I'm so numb sometimes I'll shed tears when it gets to me but I'm so numb

 

[notahappygirl]

I been crying more lately because my ctb date is approaching

 

[xinino]

I can usually endure the pain, so I don't cry, but it affects my motivation to work, it is really hard to function with those feelings. Nonetheless, I cried not long ago due to the awe and admiration of people I love. "It is a mix of pain and happiness emotions.I guess it happens every time I realize something new about them or have sympathy for them."

 

[lnlybnny]

I been crying more lately because my ctb date is approaching

What about it makes you cry? If you don't mind sharing

 

[HighFlight]

Everyday... overwhelmed with sadness relating to my own life, people here on SaSu, and over the state of humanity in general.

 

[Dliena]

Sometimes but man it sure does feel like a while ago since last time for some reason. I think I'm mad more than sad.

 

[melancholymallory03]

Honestly, I haven't cried in a relatively long time.

I used to cry regularly.
It allowed me to "reboot" my emotions.
I just felt better.

Now I don't cry anymore.
I do not know why.
I just don't feel like it.

Crying is an amazing form of self expression , it also helps the brain release what the body holds into I believe

I hope you can cry rivers one day,and let out all you're pain. The irony is , the vulnerability but the success is the relief.

i see people who are so numb by the pain that they don't cry anymore, which sadly is not my case. i've been crying so much lately. i wish i didn't feel anything, it would be so much easier to ctb

Crying intensely , and so much can be so upsetting. I remember crying so much as a child I popped a blood vessel from screaming and crying in my eyes , had to wear sunglasses for a week lol.
Crying what I didn't realize , feeling as heavy and penetrating the pain is , is necessary or pain will manifest, transform and explode in other ways.
I'm so sorry you're functioning is being impaired from crying so much, this is no way to live and seems really painful.

Wishing you peace on you're journey

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

The last time I cried was when I saw Godzilla Minus One. Actually, I didn't really cry during the movie but later on when I thought about it and how I related to parts of it in my own life. I used to cry almost everyday when thinking of how hopeless my life seems.

Usually I can't cry for my own situation anymore because I'm overall numb to it. Rarely do I get affected by tragic news either unless there's something personal to it. I still cry when I stub my toe or eat spicy food though.

 

[soulkitty]

I've been crying so much lately, at the drop of a hat. Especially when I'm around other people which is just awful and embarrassing. I think I've been crying multiple times a day for almost a month, my eyes feel so raw and puffy

 

[melancholymallory03]

The last time I cried was when I saw Godzilla Minus One. Actually, I didn't really cry during the movie but later on when I thought about it and how I related to parts of it in my own life. I used to cry almost everyday when thinking of how hopeless my life seems.

Usually I can't cry for my own situation anymore because I'm overall numb to it. Rarely do I get affected by tragic news either unless there's something personal to it. I still cry when I stub my toe or eat spicy food though.

Godzilla minus one, I'm going to watch this!
You reminded me of the last movie that made me cry, and one of the only that really beats up my heart, monsters inc …. Don't ask ….

I hope you free yourself from this numbness, it sounds very painful and potentially tedious.

Wishing you peace on you're journey ( and hopefully no stubbed toes )

 

[DoesItMatter?]

I use to cry so much that I'd have to take benzos to call me down. Now I'm just so numb, I'm just exhausted with life.

I sobbed, no, wailed harder yesterday than I ever have in my life. The drug addict who lives above me bombarded me with such vile, cruel, and abusive texts that I have never been treated so cruelly by a male to whom I was not related. And after emailing screenshots to my landlady (who I mistakenly believed cared about me) it became clear that there is no one in my corner. Not my therapist, and not my psychiatric nurse practitioner. No one will listen. My brother threw me out of his basement nearly a year ago, because he couldn't deal with my depression. My resulting homelessness and the ultimate pet-free apartment I eventually found cost me my little dog, my baby girl who I had raised and cherished for 11 and a half years. My father shot himself when I was 16. I singlehandedly cared for my mother for the last 6 years of her life, despite the fact that she hated my guts until I was 37. My brother and sister (both local) offered no help at all, despite the fact that I was on disability for many years for major depressive disorder (treatment resistant.) My life is over. It was extremely easy to legally procure a shotgun in NY State, despite my psych history of more meds than I can count, and despite my voluntary admission to a psych ward 17 years ago. I sort of feel like my dad (from somewhere beyond) helped me buy a shotgun (short but legal barrel)—and now I am calling on him to grant me the guts to just pull the trigger. But yes. I cry daily, but yesterday I wailed straight from my core.

 

[momento.mori]

I sobbed, no, wailed harder yesterday than I ever have in my life. The drug addict who lives above me bombarded me with such vile, cruel, and abusive texts that I have never been treated so cruelly by a male to whom I was not related. And after emailing screenshots to my landlady (who I mistakenly believed cared about me) it became clear that there is no one in my corner. Not my therapist, and not my psychiatric nurse practitioner. No one will listen. My brother threw me out of his basement nearly a year ago, because he couldn't deal with my depression. My resulting homelessness and the ultimate pet-free apartment I eventually found cost me my little dog, my baby girl who I had raised and cherished for 11 and a half years. My father shot himself when I was 16. I singlehandedly cared for my mother for the last 6 years of her life, despite the fact that she hated my guts until I was 37. My brother and sister (both local) offered no help at all, despite the fact that I was on disability for many years for major depressive disorder (treatment resistant.) My life is over. It was extremely easy to legally procure a shotgun in NY State, despite my psych history of more meds than I can count, and despite my voluntary admission to a psych ward 17 years ago. I sort of feel like my dad (from somewhere beyond) helped me buy a shotgun (short but legal barrel)—and now I am calling on him to grant me the guts to just pull the trigger. But yes. I cry daily, but yesterday I wailed straight from my core.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this. I wish there was something I could say that would be helpful during this difficult time. I think everyone on this site has a horrible story and saying that doesn't take away from yours. I think it's how we cope. Suicide isn't as easy as people think it is, we don't all succeed. I've survived so many attempts that I've finally given up on trying. What I can say is, sometimes things can get better, but there won't always be sunny days. My advice is try to keep yourself busy doing something, it's helps you from fo using so much on problems that you have no control over. I've been home's before and it's no fun. I'm adopted and I feel so alone in this world but I have to keep going. Try finding a hobby, join online sites for friends and condo. Its really sad your landlord didn't side with you, people can be so passive and not understand the magnitude of what someone is dealing with. I'm here if you ever want to talk or need someone to simply listen, I'll even cry with you

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

I had not cried for decades before starting to get breakdowns about 5 years ago when crap I used to dodge hit me right in the face.

 

[Pearl]

Not as much as before. Now I just cry when I feel so trapped and frustrated that I can't ctb when I want to and how I want to when my loneliness and depression get too overwhelming but that is rare. I don't smile as much as before either.

 

[strangelife]

I don't know why but I can't cry any more, may be it is deep depression or something. Before I got illness and was a happy person I was able to cry.

 

[willitpass]

Generally, I'm numb. I feel like I'm going through painful motions every day. It's like trying to walk through molasses to get through the day. Everyone once in awhile the flood gates break and all of the feelings I've been holding back come out at once and I spend some time letting out gut wrench sobs. I wish I could cry more to be honest.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Not as much anymore. I accepted the fact that due to aspergers and cptsd I have always had a big disadvantage in life. So it's not a suprise that I am a failure. I am kind of numb to it all now.

 

[BlendedHeart]

I'm crying almost every day. Wish I could reach that point of numbness, because I don't want to feel anything anymore.

 

[thedevilwithin]

sometimes, but it's so rare nowadays. i've never felt more numb then i do now.

 

[Spoonful]

Can't remember the last time I cried but it's definitely been a few years. I think I'm just too numb these days

 

[HereTomorrow]

The only time I cry nowadays is when I'm actively talking about my mental health with someone, followed by "You've worked yourself up, why did you do that to yourself?" which makes me cry more. I never can cry when I'm alone.

There are many times I want to cry when I'm alone but I'm so numb and bottled up I don't know how to let it go and the times I do I get criticized or put down, as if I'm supposed to go back and bottle everything up.

 

[shatteredcrystal]

Haven't cried because of pain for at least 2 years now. It feels like my/our emotions are so suppressed and numb that I can no longer burst out crying. I can't really recall how it feels like to cry because of the pain piled up inside, which I am certain crying would make it feel better. I really wish I would retrieve the ability to cry.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Godzilla minus one, I'm going to watch this!
You reminded me of the last movie that made me cry, and one of the only that really beats up my heart, monsters inc …. Don't ask ….

Good luck. Even though it won an Oscar, it isn't available anywhere except as recorded theater footage. It should come to streaming or Blu-Ray hopefully by September though.

 

[sserafim]

I cried a bit this morning because I want to be a kid again, but other than that, I don't cry. I was reminiscing about my childhood, and I wish I could go back. I just hate being an adult

 

[justlikeus]

I do cry sometimes. But only rarely.
The last movie that did it was "The Whale" (Dec. 2022)
The last song was 2022 (I have a list of Songs that usually work)
The last mental breakdown that made me cry was ca. 2020.
Most mental breakdowns are dry, though. Which has little to do with numbness I believe.

 

[Pixelated_Otaku]

I've cried once in the past 7-8 years, which was when an important activity for me ended with a really disappointing result. Couldn't really hold back my tears then. Other than that, I haven't really been able to get myself to cry. There's a lot of instances where I want to, but just can't. It's really weird.

 

[jbear824]

At least once a day

 

[GTNHisLOVE]

I wish I could cry. I can't remember the last time I cried, to be honest. When I'm sad, I just sit there, numb.