Discussion Do you resent your parents for giving birth to you?

[LastFlowers]

No I don't resent them. My dad I hated but later we found out it was CTE that caused his behavior and there's nothing I could do about that. But the CTE did make homelife crap and abusive, my mom took a lot of beatings. She raised us as best she could and for the most part she was successful. On the other end I did/do have regret having our daughter: if the world turns shittier we could have stopped her from becoming part of it. I've never told her that and try to give her the best I can, including not ctb'ing when I really, really want to.

Do you know what caused his CTE?
(Only if you feel comfortable answering)
I see so few people bring this topic up, so I'm curious.

 

[Grav]

Yep we know. College football in the 50's, long before I was born. All the head injuries he had and eventually was knocked out and I guess in a coma for a while. The school gave him a free ride after this. He was diagnosed with "migranes" and used to eat Tylenol all the time. Finally it hit hard in 1980 and he was dead in 2 years. Even had an uncle tell the school's admin they killed him. But nobody knew then what it was and it wasn't until the NFL started their stuff that my mom, siblings and I all had the light-bulb go off. Yeah nothing like living with an ex-football player (lineman) with extreme anger outbursts for your childhood. And this was all before any "someone has to go to jail" domestic violence laws, so got to live with it. Talked to the psych doc about it and ya it's a good part of my problems growing up in that house.

So if anything I regret what could have been and resent fate/god/world/karma/whatever there is. His friends described a totally different person, as did my mom. But the brain damage made him completely different, actual jekyll and hyde. But I can shake my fist at the sky for all the good it will do, you roll the bones and you take what you get.

 

[FuneralCry]

Even know more than anything I wish I was never born, and I was perfectly fine not existing until I was forced to live, I do not resent my parents. They thought they were doing a good thing by bringing a human into this world. All my negative feelings are directed towards life in general. I hate living and it disgusts me that so much suffering exists.

 

[lmon]

I feel so resentful that I was born, it was one chance in one million and I got unlucky enough to be here. I can't help but blame my parents for my miserable existence.

I also feel guilty that I don't enjoy life and the opportunities they gave me, I feel like any other person in my shoes would be doing great in life, with lots of friends, a good job and college like my brother, instead I'm in my room all day long playing, being depressed and planning how to ctb. It will break their heart when I do, but I didn't ask to be here and I hate being alive, I'm disgusted by my body and physiological needs, I hate the society I live in, I hate the shithole country where I was born, I hate most people, I hate studying, I wish I was never born...

Does anyone feel the same way?

Yes