Discussion Do you regret not CTB’ing as a teenager?

[Jenjoh2358]

Do you regret not CTB'ing during the teenage year's (13-19) ?

 

[Darkover]

yeah i would of killed my self at 18, my life isn't worth living, it never got any better with time just worse, life is just holding us hostage

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Should have, but didn't.

 

[SoDead]

Not sure. I was close to it two times back then. But I knew nothing about reliable ways to do so, and failure might have resulted in making my life even worse.

 

[supermario]

That's a good question. At the time I thought my life was over already (mental illness), and that there was no way out. I suffered 10 years of extreme torment after that, but then stumbled across the right meds that completely transformed my life for the next 15 years. So honestly, I'm happy I didn't go thru with ctb back then when I was a teen.

Now that the mental illness is back and 10x stronger, I'm faced with the same dilemma again.

 

[Hangman]

I think I would have been too young, stupid and emotionally unstable to make the decision. May be I still am...

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

No, it would have been by using a knife. I actually made a very lazy attempt with a knife at 20 (or 21/22 or something, can't remember), at 18 I might have actually managed to pull it off since I kept feeling the urge to ram it into my neck. A painful and unreliable method, glad I didn't do it and now have SN.

 

[Ch92921]

Definitly yes.

 

[chocolatebar]

No, it would have been by using a knife. I actually made a very lazy attempt with a knife at 20 (or 21/22 or something, can't remember), at 18 I might have actually managed to pull it off since I kept feeling the urge to ram it into my neck. A painful and unreliable method, glad I didn't do it and now have SN.

Exactly. I tried as a teenager and used a terrible and highly fallible method. If I did it more times, it's more likely that I would be still alive, but impaired.
But I would definitely want to have stopped existing back then

 

[Hewburt]

Yea! I wish I would have around 19, looking back life was really good back then. Since around that time things have become so much worse in all aspects of life - friends, family, relationships. Now with kids 99% of me wants to CTB but I don't want to do that to them or my parents. Aaaagh!

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Sometimes. The only real reasons I don't regret it? It's pretty damn pathetic, but getting closer with my cat in the past few years and meeting good friends here. Wouldn't have had this if I ctb as a teen.

 

[8evergo]

If I had done my CTB much earlier, I would have been spared a lot

 

[Nolen]

Yeah had practically no SI back then, would I've known what SN or N was I doubt I would be here now.

 

[8evergo]

when i was 22 years old i walked through europe like a vagabond i was up in paris at the eiffel tower and so i thought about jumping up there just thought i would have just done it

 

[HeckingHecked]

Hell, I should've killed myself at 14. It wasn't a lethal method, but damn. It would have been worth it.

 

[MeltedJello]

I definitely have regrets, but then again I probably would've failed more attempts using shitty methods, and suffered a lot more had I not found this site. I also failed to realize how much suffering, and how pointless life is as a teen, so I regret missing out on those years for more research, and attempts to ctb.

 

[supermario]

Sometimes. The only real reasons I don't regret it? It's pretty damn pathetic, but getting closer with my cat in the past few years and meeting good friends here. Wouldn't have had this if I ctb as a teen.

That doesn't sound pathetic at all. Meeting good friends and getting close to another being sound like great reasons to have kept going.

 

[Mashedout]

No. The skills I learned by suffering this long have prepared me for eternity, I'm grateful for the pain because it teaches things pleasure never can. I could keep suffering here on a loop if I really had to now, but since there is a choice and I see no point to this life I won't. I'm nearly as ready as I'm going to be and this life has nothing left to offer me.

 

[ascetic_]

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

When I was 18, I was far more reckless and liable to go through with it.

Ultimately, I just wish I'd made different choices in life that wouldn't have me here wishing I'd opted out decades earlier.

 

[Kennish]

Yes I should have done it then. My condition is far more worse now

 

[Hateyouprolife]

Still got a chance to do it at age 18.

 

[Kennish]

Still got a chance to do it at age 18.

Isn't this site only for users over 18?

 

[Hewburt]

Isn't this site only for users over 18?

First rule on the rules page - "at least 18 years of age"

 

[obliviousatbest]

Every day I realise I'm still breathing I despise myself for not taking the opportunity to get out while the perfect moment was there and waiting for me. Everything since has felt so stale and abyssal.

 

[mayday]

Yes. I tried and failed when I was 16, now I regret not trying harder or with a more reliable method.

 

[Hateyouprolife]

Isn't this site only for users over 18?

What I meant is that im already 18. Fuck my english!

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Never even knew of the option. Until I was 19 and was admitted to a psych ward I should have done it then but couldn't even think and plan or execute it.

 

[plastic]

At the age of 8 I wanted to suffocate myself with a plastic bag, but unfortunately I lived to be 50. I'am regret I didn't CTB in my 16s because since then everything has been suffering and pointless.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I wish I ctb at an earlier age. I am nearly 21 and it feels like I have been alive for too long at this point. I have been suicidal for many years, since I was a young child. Things have just gotten worse over the years. If I ctb years ago, it would have prevented lots of suffering. If I could talk to my past self from a few years ago, I would tell her to find a way to ctb right now.
The truth is that I am not meant for this world and my existence is a mistake. Nothing will ever make me want to live. I just want to be at peace.

 

[grungeCat]

Do you regret not CTB'ing during the teenage year's (13-19) ?

Yes, I do. I tried to do it a couple of times but I always freaked out...