Discussion Do you really want to die?

[Painless_end]

Do you honestly want to die ?

Is there something you want that you can't have ? What if you magically, against all odds, got it tomorrow ?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Sure, there are things that could conceivably take away my suicidal feelings. But might as well wish for natural disasters to never happen again. Ambivalence is normal and I don't necessarily see that as an unequivocal sign that suicide isn't right.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I picked the unsure option. I just want to be healthy and pain free again, but I know that isn't happening. I hate that things turned out this way.

 

[lionetta12]

Do you honestly want to die ?

Is there something you want that you can't have ? What if you magically, against all odds, got it tomorrow ?

If someone somehow could remove all my irrational feelings of guilt that make it unbearable to live, sleep and eat, then sure. But I've had this guilt feeling for 12 years now so I don't really see it going away. If I could have my ex back who's the most tolerable person I've known, then that would be great too. But none of these things will ever happen. On top of this, I got diagnosed as chronically suicidal an hour ago, after having had suicide thoughs for 12 years that wont go away.

 

[CTB Dream]

Yes 100% want leave fake life trrrible idea injury damage trauma never again experience life no mater good bad ,pain suffering not stop alwaus possible better leave

 

[universe]

I really wish to die because for me to live has no interest, meaning, purpose. I think it's very difficult to go on living when you think like that because it's going against society, life, the survival instinct. I don't understand people who stay on Earth and continue to live normally because I can't.

 

[Justnotme]

Yes, yes, and yes again. I hate "life" here, I hate the cruel laws of nature, the cruel failures of the human mind, which lead to the violent and severe death of all living things. I am not interested in this world, which requires taking its cruelty for granted, because nature "did not think of" doing things so that there would be no terrible failures in the human mind, in nature itself.
I often think: I don't understand those who say that suicide is unnatural.
None of us knows about the beginning of the creation of the world and what will happen after death. Since we can say what is natural and what is not.
I can assume that suicide is natural for a particular person, for the nature of a particular person.
But often a person is not considered as a separate person even in simple matters. Often a person is required to merge with the opinion of the majority. What can we say about suicide
Sometimes I think that we ourselves complicate our thoughts about suicide
But at the same time, it's hard for me to leave myself

 

[Forever Sleep]

I suppose if we're talking about complete fantasy thinking- some magical solution 'could' come along for all of us. Still- in my experience and I expect most other people's- magic/ luck isn't terribly abundant in this life. You have to struggle and grasp for every single little thing and if you get it/ once you've got it, it isn't enough. It's got to the point where death seems like a lot less hassle (if only it weren't so risky/ scary to achieve) and a lot more appealing.

It's a bit like that phrase- 'live everyday like it's your last.' Lovely sentiment but utterly impractical. Most people have jobs and everyday chores that have to be done to just survive.

Sadly, this life isn't 'magical' and good things rarely just materialise in front of us. Even the 'happy' 'successful' people likely made it happen for themselves. Feel like- by the time we've found our way here, we don't have much of that fight and energy to make things better and it's harder to see the point in it all regardless.

 

[Mofreeko]

I want to BE DEAD. I'm mustering the courage for the dying part.

 

[lifeORdeath]

I don't want to die. not really.

I have lots I would leave behind, folks that I feel need me.

But then there is the future and what it may bring. The misery that I don't want to be in, I would rather be gone than I dunno..face the music for stupidity. I hope it never comes to this. The problem is my mind has gone to worst case scenario and flight mode constantly to where I am beat down and might not make it to see how it turns out. I'm afraid to see. It would suck if it was good and I offed myself early.

Then again would suck worse if stuck around and got to experience more crap after more crap and misery, on top of guilt/shame/fear/anxiety. those same folks might be screwed either way, but at least they wouldn't have to look at me and be pissed or sad. Maybe there would be some reward for my sacrifice.. doubt it, but I try to justify it best I can bcuz I've already been close a few times.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, yes, and yes again. I hate "life" here, I hate the cruel laws of nature, the cruel failures of the human mind, which lead to the violent and severe death of all living things. I am not interested in this world, which requires taking its cruelty for granted, because nature "did not think of" doing things so that there would be no terrible failures in the human mind, in nature itself.
I often think: I don't understand those who say that suicide is unnatural.
None of us knows about the beginning of the creation of the world and what will happen after death. Since we can say what is natural and what is not.
I can assume that suicide is natural for a particular person, for the nature of a particular person.
But often a person is not considered as a separate person even in simple matters. Often a person is required to merge with the opinion of the majority. What can we say about suicide
Sometimes I think that we ourselves complicate our thoughts about suicide
But at the same time, it's hard for me to leave myself

That's so true- a world 'which requires taking its cruelty for granted'.

I probably have a different take on our species though. I think we have become divorced from nature. I would actually agree that suicide is an 'unnatural' act because it goes against the natural instinct to survive. We have to consciously wrestle with the older instinctual part of our brains and overcome our SI in order to achieve it.

Whether it's a good or bad thing, I feel like the particular type of thinking and consciousness we have evolved allows us to act against our primal nature. I definitely wouldn't say 'best interest' though because I agree- it feels like it would be in many of our best interests to leave this place. I definitely agree that to want suicide isn't abnormal in a world like this but I'm not sure it's 'natural'- anymore than we are now.

 

[Venus13]

I'm not unsure, I know I don't want my mental illness to take my life. I know there's a life I would have rather experienced and I know there's potential for a shift. I just don't know how to tap into the shift and I don't have much fight left in me. I'm going out mostly involuntarily. Simple math of suffering, confusion, and despair equaling more than hope, vision and faith.

 

[makethepainstop]

Do you honestly want to die ?

Is there something you want that you can't have ? What if you magically, against all odds, got it tomorrow ?

Hell Yes I want to die!

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, of course I would like to be gone from this world, more than anything. To me permanent nothingness is ideal and nothing could ever make me want to exist in this nightmare world filled with endless cruelty and suffering no matter what.

I have a strong dislike for life itself, I have always found the concept of life with all it's randomness and unfairness to be a horrible thing, it can never be beneficial bringing life into this world as it creates problems in which there was never a need for in the first place. I simply dislike experiencing life and being trapped in the prison that is consciousness, there is nothing that could make it worthwhile me being here and there is nothing appealing about having to exist in this world. Everything is just so tiring to me, life itself really is the problem.

 

[FuneralGrey]

Is there something you want that you can't have ? What if you magically, against all odds, got it tomorrow ?

Honestly? I don't want to die. The fact that most of us struggle to overcome SI in those final moments would suggest that, biologically, our bodies are trying really darn hard to get us to survive.

The only thing I could get that I don't have and that would make me change my mind would be a functioning brain – one designed to work and to get me to fit in with this modern society that we've built. But if I replaced or rewired my brain, I wouldn't be myself, so would it fix the problem? My "self," as I know it, would cease to exist either way.

I know I don't want to be alive. Do I want to be dead? Eh. But those are the two options I have.

 

[Елена]

100 %

 

[counting-out-time]

dang it if only Santa was real - I'd be asking for some SN or a time machine so I can go back to when dinosaurs was around and I'd have my head eaten off. I know a human body can die from drinking too much water (30L in 10 mins) but could this be reversed and stick a fire hose up ones butt? should be the same effect in a way?

 

[October112021]

Yes.

 

[blue_muse]

Without a shadow of a doubt. The world's not about to change for me, so I'm not prepared to change for the world. At present, there are people manipulating reasons for me to live. However, it's too little too late. Nothing temporary about my health, state of my life, how people treat me, torrent of emotional and verbal abuse etc.

 

[LesbianCarpetPython]

Of course I don't, but I can't live with the life I've created for myself. It truely is 100% my fault and I can't anyway to escape it

 

[Hirokami]

I suppose people have their own reasons for being here, though I will never understand how people could cope with living in such a terrible reality. Our society is objectively awful. Why would I enjoy living in such a society? I don't know, maybe if I magically saw the "silver lining" every normie talks about, my suicidal thoughts might dissipate. However, I just feel like I'm not meant for this world. I'm too "weak", I guess. It's less about me wanting to die and more about accepting my circumstances.

 

[S like suicide]

Do you honestly want to die ?

Is there something you want that you can't have ? What if you magically, against all odds, got it tomorrow ?

Depression makes me wanting to die...if i was "normal" with the ability that most humans have to cope and fight against adversities probably i would not die.
I can't change my family and aside from them i have noone...when it's ok with my family,in some way i'm able to mantain myself stable even tho it's a very fragile equilibrium...but when it's bad with them....it's over...i attempt suicide because i'm unable to cope,it's like i don't have the strenght to fight.I have no one else to call or that can really help me and i sink into the dark,all i can do or think is obsessvly to suicide and attempting.
What i would like?
Some security in my life...having people that help me and make me feel safe and not like today i love you and like you...tomorrow not anymore like in my family.

 

[Sad_Sack]

Do you honestly want to die ?

Is there something you want that you can't have ? What if you magically, against all odds, got it tomorrow ?

I absolutely would not want to die if my health and cognitive issues resolved or at least improved some. I loved life and still would if these would go away. I do not see that happening though. Its been way to many years and has only gotten worse. To much for me to bear much longer.

I picked the unsure option. I just want to be healthy and pain free again, but I know that isn't happening. I hate that things turned out this way.

I'm right there with you on this. I'm sorry things went this way for you.

 

[TheManIllNeverBe]

If I could get my brain sorted out after years of being jerked around by psych meds... get rid of the depression, brain fog, fatigue... I would give things another shot. I've just been struggling for long enough that I'm not convinced that it's going to happen, so I like to keep my options open. I voted "unsure."

 

[flightless bird]

Yes. I can't even believe that I exist, I can't believe that I'm in this world. There's nothing familiar, nothing good. It's incredible.

 

[Death is my goal]

look at my name

 

[Niirvana]

The SI is the fucking problem

 

[that_guy2611]

If I didn't look like shit and had some social skills then i'd probably be fine.

 

[Minibosterita]

I have brief moments of not hating life. But I always feel empty. If somehow I could fill that emptiness and find purpose then maybe things would change, but I've been like this ever since I can remember. I don't see another way out.

 

[SamTam33]

Absolutely. I fantasize about it like other people dream of winning the lottery.

Like someone else said, I was never meant to be here. When you think of the billions of people who've ever been born - what are the odds that every single one of them would be happy to be alive?

You can't get 100 people to agree on the best flavor of ice cream, but 100 BILLION are supposed to all agree that their life is worth living? Sure. Ok.

I read about this vigilante group that carried out assassinations for a price (rumored to have been behind the murder of Haiti's president I think) and wondered if I could somehow reach them and pay them to kill me.

Every time I hear a news story about a person who died, I instantly wish it was me.

When I hear about celebrity suicides, I get angry at myself for not being as brave as them.

I've researched the symptoms of every kind of cancer under the sun and made note of which ones I have. Trying to convince myself that if I'm just patient "my cancer will come."

I've made a list of about 50 ways to die and rewrite it over and over when I need to find comfort.

Sometimes I feel like there isn't a single person on earth who wants to die as much as I do.

Even if I could be beautiful and rich and loved, I'd want to experience life as that person for a little while THEN die.

There's nothing that can make me want to stay. Why would I want to live and keep paying taxes, sitting in traffic, and going to the dentist?

How can anyone make a pitch for life? What are the selling points? How would you convince someone who isn't born yet that they should definitely be born?

Student loan payments, trash siblings, your neighbor's barking dog, sore throats and allergies. Convenience fees and co-pays. Rashes and sprained ankles. Carjackings and road rage. Bullies and checkout lines. Flat tires and jury duty.

"How can you not want a piece of this?!"