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DiscussionDo you plan on leaving a suicide note?
Thread starterrozeske
Start date
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No, because I want people to think it's an accident so that they can still cash in on my life insurance and stuff. I think if it's clear it's a suicide they might not get the money.
Yes. Some of it is logistical. I plan to CTB in a remote location if I can. I will need to leave behind the location of my corpse. I also intend to have everything financial sorted. Dying is really a massive pain in the ass for everyone involved. I would strongly prefer to have my family move on as soon as humanly possible. Them struggling with paperwork to sort through my money and paying for my funeral just isn't conducive to that.
At first I wanted to leave a note because I was really paranoid that people would try making up their own reasons as to why I CTB'd.
However, now I've decided not to leave a note because I'm not going to care once I'm dead anyway. Also, worrying about what to put in my note might just hold me back from actually CTBing.
I don't know yet to be honest I want to cause there's so much I want to say to a select few people in my life but I don't cause I don't wanna traumatize them
I've struggled to actually write physical notes because my perfectionism gets in the way and I feel like there's way too much to say that can ever be truly condensed into a note. So I plan to leave voice memos so that at least my loved ones will get to hear my voice one last time and it sounds less mechanic than a note just saying I'm sorry or I love you. Also notes, prepared ahead of time, are tricky because they can be discovered on accident before you ctb and then you get involuntarily committed. Happened to me!
I want to leave something small for my lover so they know that it isnt their fault, and that i love them to bits and pieces. But every time i try to write one out, i get too into my feelings and i can't get myself to go. Maybe ill do what Shimidori said, and make a suicide journal for mine to read when Im gone. Full of the things i love about her and everything theyve done for me. Write in it whenever I feel sappy about leaving them behind, the way im feeling now, so they know how important they were to me.
Before we got together, I backed out midway through my first major attempt calling their name. They were nowhere near, but I'm alive because at the end of my rope, i remembered her presence.
My first attempt, I actually wrote individual notes for each person in my life, even online friends. Never sent them though, and they weren't found. I burned them after, cause I thought I was getting better.
I wrote a new letter recently, but it's not really a suicide note, it's kinda like a will. What I want done with my body, giving certain items away, asking them to hold onto certain items I feel are important, and giving my family permission to look through all my journals and sketchbooks. Figured those would help them understand my feelings more than anything. And a simple "I love you" at the end.
Hell no. Why waste time writing a note nobody will read? No one will notice I'm gone, no one will miss me, why am I leaving notes for people who won't notice I'm dead?
At first I was not planning on leaving a note, but after reading, I thought maybe could be good to write a note to the coroner.
Anyway it doesn't will go about why I'm gonna do it. Just to avoid absurd actions.
I'm planning to make a thread here just to say goodbye to everyone.
But I think I should use my death in the community future, so I'm thinking about donate all my money, maybe taking a life insurance and make a testament to give to the money about the insurance here too.
Still maybe I do a legal compilation about the medical abusive laws in Europe against people that want to CTB, and start a petition to the European parliament to change that.
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