Discussion Do you know anyone personally who’s committed suicide?

[DeletedUser]

And how has that affected you?

 

[The Schizoid]

Not personally. I know someone who attempted 3 times, but they weren't close to me.

As he was telling me this, it was about 3 years ago, I was in a decent enough place, thinking I'll recover and find peace etc.

I thought it was sad that he was in his 60's and was like this. The thought of being in the final 10-20 years of ones life and still not being able to figure yourself out.... it's sad shit.

I am in my 30's and recently my issues got worse. I remember approaching my 30's thinking it would be a decent milestone to hit and hopefully my issues would be resolved by then... nope. Sitting here half way to 35 and now I feel I've made 10 steps forward and 15 steps back now.

So yeah, this guys suicide attempt story has stuck with me a bit, but nothing much impacts me emotionally I'm so flatlined.

If I cannot resolve my problems, I probably wont make it to 35.

 

[frap791]

I know one guy who had into big debt for some reason at 24 and did it after a Xanax binge. Such a shame, he would have easily gotten it together.

 

[absolutelyyou]

My mother and it was a turning point in my life getting better tbh

 

[R_N]

Grandfathers sister did partial when I was little. They found her in bathroom. Didn't knew her too well but sometimes we would visit and I remember her as being very empathetic. I also remember I could sense her sadness even when she smiled. Like she always had something on her mind. I am surprised I remembered this more now that I think of it. She also had schizophrenia and was on meds...


Another person was a neighbour. I saw him a couple of times and we interacted only once or twice I think. He was often alone and I think he was also bullied by other problematic bunch who lived around. I remember talking to a girl about him years after that happened and bringing it up because she was friends with said problematic guys. I remember being disgusted by her not caring because we were flirting for a bit.
I know he switched college a couple of times and that his method was cutting wrists. His family left that house immediately after. He was also found in bathroom...


Then not too long ago a guy I kinda knew jumped from the flat. When I was a kid my friends would mock him because he was poor and I was uncomfortable whenever that happened and tried to stop it. He was nice but he had it rough. He seemed fine to me years later and we would always greet each other. I often saw him with his mother. I think something happened in his family that made him do it. Between his mom and grandmother. I didn't really looked into it...


Besides that I only heard about other cases but I didn't know these people at all or even less than ones I talked about.

Figured I should at least say more about them if I am going to mention them. Hopefully they are at peace now.

 

[wastingpotential]

no but almost everyone i've ever known has mentioned that they are or had thoughts of it at some point in their life, most having different reasonings for it too

this world is so fucked up in every aspect the more stories i hear

 

[sadlyexisting]

No, but way before I was born my mom tried to take her own life, but she failed.
I still hate my grandparents for putting my mom through so much that she even tried to take her own life.
I can't imagine the way how bad she must've felt.

 

[necpluribusimparer]

My father killed himself when I was 14. It wasn't officially registered as a suicide, but I know it was one. He said he was depressed. I did nothing, which I regret but don't really blame myself for because I was just 14. He was a materialistic person, and he had just sold a house worth 50 grand. It would've been too much of a coincidence for him to just die then and there. He drove his car into a truck on a motorway.

The next day was a school day for me. I was on recess trying to hide from the bullies, and suddenly my mom came to drag me by the shoulder, crying. She told me my father had been in a serious car accident. I didn't really understand it in the moment, but the next day I was overwhelmed by tears going into the hospital where my dad was pronounced brain dead. I immediately became suicidal, and didn't really go to school for the next year.

It's been years, but I still see dreams of him, and wake up thinking he's alive, but then I remember he's gone. I've never been the same after he died. He was my only friend in a time where everyone bullied me and I was alone, but he was dragged away from me. I was depressed before he died, but ever since then I have wanted to die more than ever. I just want him back.

 

[RemainingDubious]

And how has that affected you?

Yes. A parent as a child, their death taught me what suicide was and how the world clearly wasn't all "Bright and Beautiful" like the hymns they get you to sing in primary school. i started thinking about my demise regularly and made some attempts from time to time.

Followed by my eldest sibling, their suicide affected me most. i one hundred percent wanted to be next in line.

Then my other elder sibling, we weren't that close so their death numbed me more than anything.

i completely understand all their choices and made my peace with it along time ago. i can't wait for my time to come.

 

[absntaknwldgmnt]

My sibling did a few years ago

 

[mtoro998]

Yes I know someone who hanged herself because of a terminal illness.

 

[UKscotty]

A few people, traumatic and tragic every time. Didn't see any of them coming either.

Not much you can do but hope they are at peace.

 

[nightlygem]

I found my father's body in full suspension hanging. He used a black towing rope and a paracord belt. He hung off the rafters in my garage. His arms were purple, neck was dark purple- almost black, his tongue was backwards, and his face was yellow. Truly a gruesome and horrific experience for me. I learned a lot from his method of choice and plan to go out the same way, or by SN.
Typing this out has given me flashbacks… let this be a warning to really consider who will find your body.

 

[sserafim]

Yeah, two people from my college ctb. Someone from my high school also ctb during their first year of college. A guy I knew when I was a kid ctb by getting hit by a train. He was in the same arts and music summer camp as me, and we would roleplay Harry Potter together with a third friend. We even had fake wands that were basically twigs haha. He invited me over to his house once. He wrote his (family's) phone number on a piece of paper and gave it to me. I felt kind of embarrassed about going over to a guy's house, and I left his number in my pocket and forgot about it, and it eventually got crumpled up in the washing machine. Maybe if I had gone over to his house, then things would've been different…I guess I was shocked when I found out my childhood friend had ctb.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I've lost 3 people to suicide.

1 of them was just someone who was in the background of my daily life. Just the random hello and a few jokes every so often. It didn't really have much of an impact that as the others but it was still noticeable that they weren't there anymore, I guess particularly as she was friends with my support worker and so they would talk about her often.

The 2nd person was someone from here who I had got close to. This impacted me a lot which I guess is silly considering we're on a suicide forum but I guess I missed having someone who I could relate to, whom was similar age to me and the same like of music and video games.

The 3rd was the worst. That was losing my dad/ father figure to suicide. I have PTSD from it and I get a lot of flashbacks. I knew he felt suicidal before and just stayed in a flat watching Breaking Bad until he thought enough was enough and sorted his life out. But this time he wasn't able to and ended his life. I miss him so much and his death is what lead me to using the forums as I was searching for a way to end mine to join him. That was nearly 5 years ago now.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

No, but I can't imagine it would possibly change my mind. Even if someone I really really cared about was lost to suicide that would probably just spur me on more to meet them.

 

[Linda]

I assume that the question is not meant to cover people who were active on this site. On that basis, I have known three people. (1) One of my cousins. (2) A friend (not a close friend) who I knew many years ago in Norway. (3) Someone I knew, though not very well at college. He was found dead in circumstances that strongly suggested suicide, though I don't know if suicide was ever confirmed.

I was not emotionally affected by any of them, probably because I was not very close to any of them.

 

[Malaria]

A friend of mine committed suicide a few years ago. I miss him a lot and think about him a lot, but I don't judge him negatively for doing it. I understand he was going through a lot of pain and just wanted relief from it.

 

[theboy]

yes

 

[strangelife]

My father killed himself when I was 14. It wasn't officially registered as a suicide, but I know it was one. He said he was depressed. I did nothing, which I regret but don't really blame myself for because I was just 14. He was a materialistic person, and he had just sold a house worth 50 grand. It would've been too much of a coincidence for him to just die then and there. He drove his car into a truck on a motorway.

The next day was a school day for me. I was on recess trying to hide from the bullies, and suddenly my mom came to drag me by the shoulder, crying. She told me my father had been in a serious car accident. I didn't really understand it in the moment, but the next day I was overwhelmed by tears going into the hospital where my dad was pronounced brain dead. I immediately became suicidal, and didn't really go to school for the next year.

It's been years, but I still see dreams of him, and wake up thinking he's alive, but then I remember he's gone. I've never been the same after he died. He was my only friend in a time where everyone bullied me and I was alone, but he was dragged away from me. I was depressed before he died, but ever since then I have

I am very sorry for you. I have a question for you, I have a difficult situation, my son is 13, I am 41, my life has become unbearable due to illness, paresis torments me, 4 months ago my son and I had fun traveling and doing hobbies, and now I'm lying at home and I don't want to live like this in this pain and suffering, but I am very worried about my son, he has never been prone to depression, he sees that I am sick, but probably thinks that everything will pass. I am very worried about how he will be able to live without me, whether he will be able to understand me, whether he will be able to be happy.

I found my father's body in full suspension hanging. He used a black towing rope and a paracord belt. He hung off the rafters in my garage. His arms were purple, neck was dark purple- almost black, his tongue was backwards, and his face was yellow. Truly a gruesome and horrific experience for me. I learned a lot from his method of choice and plan to go out the same way, or by SN.
Typing this out has given me flashbacks… let this be a warning to really consider who will find your body.

I'm sorry, did you start thinking about ctb after what happened?

 

[Agon321]

Not from close surroundings. In fact, I only know one person who committed suicide. He was a boy a little older than me. I only knew him by sight from school. He probably drank some chemical substance (now that I think about it, I wonder if it was SN or something similar). Of course, there have been more suicides in my area, but I don't know anyone else. There was at least one suicide in my family. It was probably my mother's uncle. He hung himself on a door handle and left a letter. I didn't know him because it was when my mother was still young.

 

[Irishsteve88]

My beautiful sister died one year ago after many attempts of jumping onto the biggest river in Dublin Ireland finally she done it and wasn't pulled out of the river by 2 American tourist 2 days after she went in

Her post mortem revealed she had alcohol and methadone in her system but drowned I'll never forget that while sitting there saying to myself I was another river in my local town south of Ireland so many times but I was always seen an pulled out. Least she's found her happy place... RIP sis and see you soon I hope

 

[Homo erectus]

I don't know the person personally, but someone died jumping from a building less than 50m away. Isn't it ironic? It's that close but it's also feels very remote.

 

[nightlygem]

I'm sorry, did you start thinking about ctb after what happened?

I've always been suicidal, but this event made me sure of my choice. I long to be with my father.
Reading your reply saddens me. Please, if you're considering ctb, do not let your son find you.
This event happened when I was a teenager, and it has mentally slowed me down. As an adult now, I struggle with the simplest of things. Life has never been the same.
If you truly want the best for your son, please plan throughly. Think about who will take care of him, if he can find your body, etc.
Best wishes.

 

[F@#$]

A couple. One for sure,me and my friend found him in his bedroom when we were like 14. I had another friend about 7 years ago I'm pretty sure intentionally over dosed. And lastly my old biker buddy that rear-ended a truck and took his head off. Pretty sure he knew what he was doing, that was in 2019. I don't know exactly how it's effected me I'm a fuckin mess anyway.

 

[inmyhead]

I've known at least 4 people off the top of my head who have done it. All by hanging. I wasn't particularly close with any of them and they all are different ages, different friend groups. I live on a small remote island where suicides are shockingly high.

 

[restless.dreams]

A girl on my hall in college. I didn't know her well, but she always seemed happy and smiling. I guess you never really know what someone's going through.

I remember the cops showed up to question everyone and my roommate was sobbing. I just felt numb at that point. Still think about her sometimes. It was six years ago this month.

 

[Ash’Girl]

Yeah. One was a friend who had a been tortured by some nutty local guy who was off his face on drugs. He went to prison for it but when he got released my mate was so traumatised, had so much ptsd and terrified his assailant would come after him, he ctb.

The other wasn't really suicide in terms of choice, it was addiction resulting in death. My cousin thinks of it as suicide but it was her mum… she was an alcoholic. She was warned for a long time that her liver was failing because of it. She died of liver failure caused by alcoholism. She could not stop drinking. She knew it would kill her. She didn't care. She was only in her 30s. Her daughter has a lot of anger re this - she says it was a choice. She says her mum killed herself. I guess she did in a way, just slowly.

 

[recat]

A very very close friend of mine CTB around 2021. A very, very dear friend, I even wanted him to be my boyfriend. I could never cheer him up, but I could never bring myself to absolutely force him to suffer forever like he was. I always tried to be there for him, I tried so hard, I did not want to lose him. He was so special to me. I tried everything I could, but nothing worked... the last thing he told me was happy birthday. It has affected me, permanently, and ever since, slowly, ive wanted to join him more and more up until today. Honestly, losing him is one of the reasons behind why I want to CBT today. At least I know the chain will end with me..

 

[Irishsteve88]

My beautiful sister died one year ago after many attempts of jumping into the biggest river in Dublin Ireland (river liffy) finally she done it and wasn't pulled out of the river till 2 days later by 2 American tourists 2 days after she went in. I'm sorry the tourist made that discovery it's not a way to spend your holiday on but I thank you also

Her post mortem revealed she had alcohol and methadone in her system but drowned I'll never forget that while sitting there saying to myself I was another river in my local town south of Ireland so many times but I was always seen an pulled out by night river rescue volunteers. Least she's found her happy place... RIP sis and see you soon I hope sorry had to edit that at about due to pre text sh.t on my phone