Discussion Do you have any physical reasons as to why you'd want to suicide?

[BlackNugget]

I have in general a horrible life but a massive reason to my want for death is the constant, widespread baseline pain I felt for all my life; as long as I remember my entire body would be in constant, nauseating pain and my head would just numbingly ache constantly, from head to toe it constantly hurts. My entire body hurts, it's like I'm in a cocoon of pure undying pain; it's weird because it's not as though I'm sensitive to touch or anything, it's just pain. I feel constant burn to the very core. I used to even think this was normal, as though it was how life is supposed to be experienced.

It doesn't matter what I do or what GP I go to, it's just always there; I'm supposed to get a diagnosis about it this month but it's clear from the way the doctors act about it that it's likely chronic.
Obviously, I won't then just conclude it is the sole reason I want to die, there's a rare few I've read up online with similar circumstances who living a fulfilling life, it's just that it's a major filter over the rest of my life that just makes me want to curl up in a ball and do entirely nothing. It makes me feel as though I was born inherently wrong, and as though some divine entity cursed me in some way to just suffer.

 

[unluckysadness]

I feel you because I'm in the same situation. I've lost everything because of my health issues (and because of other problems). It's becoming pure torture and after decades of struggling, I'm ready to leave now and looking for euthanasia in Switzerland. I'm sure I'm eligible because these disabilities are incurable and cruel.

I'm not afraid of death. I'm just very sad because I haven't experienced normal things like love, sex, travelling (and so many other things) because of my sick neurodivergent brain that gave me just pain and huge anxiety all my miserable "life".

I hope you'll find peace too.

 

[Ben 111]

I feel you because I'm in the same situation. I've lost everything because of my health issues (and because of other problems). It's becoming pure torture and after decades of struggling, I'm ready to leave now and looking for euthanasia in Switzerland. I'm sure I'm eligible because these disabilities are incurable and cruel.

I'm not afraid of death. I'm just very sad because I haven't experienced normal things like love, sex, travelling (and so many other things) because of my sick neurodivergent brain that gave me just pain and huge anxiety all my miserable "life".

I hope you'll find peace too.

Sorry

 

[Enyan]

I have only physical reasons, no mental ones.

Have been in (mostly mild, mostly limited) pain all my life due to what I recently found out is hEDS, but was able to live with that quite well until I got a spinal fluid leak from a routine procedure. Now I'm in near constant pain that gets much worse when standing, have visual and auditory issues, massive brain fog, memory issues, dizziness, muscle pain from lying down all the time, etc. I'd love nothing more than to live since I adore life and I've had so much happiness inside me, but my circumstances unfortunately force me to end it.

If the leak would go away I wouldn't even spend a second thinking about killing myself. Alas, pretty much no chance.

I'm so sorry to hear you're in so much pain. I really get it.

 

[never mind me]

I also have only physical reasons, namely chronic laryngitis that keeps me from speaking more than a few sentences each day, resulting in social isolation, preventing me from working, doing sports (as increased breathing makes it worse), going out for extended periods of time during the day (because dry air also increases the pain), forcing me to have a very limited diet (as reflux is contributing to it) and even if I avoid all these triggers the pain rarely goes away for more than a few hours. I still hope that it can eventually be cured, but reading online about people who have had this issue for years without any improvement doesn't cause me to feel particularly hopeful. Before I had this issue I was really happy with my life, I was living my dream and travelling the world, therefore it feels just incredibly sad that it all fell apart, especially as I could have prevented it, if I hadn't drunk alcohol shortly after having acute laryngitis.

 

[hdead]

Sorry for all of your problems.. I can't imagine what it would be like to deal with that. (To all of the above, fyi)

My first answer is; the brain is physical yeah? Mine doesn't work great, hehe.

Other than that my body is generally fine. The biggest problem I have is a busted hip. It really did a number on me. Years ago I found running. It was the best thing that happened to me and took me out of my depression. I never felt so good. Until one day, after an 18k run I couldn't walk for like a week. It kept hurting and I slowed down my running a bit because I thought I had just exaggerated my training. It never went away, ended up getting a CT scan and it turned out I have arthritis and osteoporosis. It will likely progress in other joints, but my right hip is busted to the point that I couldn't run anymore. Today, 3 years after the diagnosis, I'm still in daily pain albeit bearable. Doctors stated I'll need a new hip by the time I'm 45/50.

When I took notice I cried my eyes out of my skull. It was the only thing in life where I actually saw a path for myself that was fulfilling. I was planning half marathons, full marathons and had ambitions to do ultras around the world. Now I can't walk 5k without dealing with a painful joint for a week. Also sucks sleeping with that pain.