I moved in with my dad a year ago and he has a German Shepherd. She's a very anxious, can be aggressive dog because he never trained her. After a few months, she turned into MY dog. She follows me everywhere and I'm the main one who takes care of her. She's much more affectionate now and she's literally my best friend and is always with me. I love her so much. While she's definitely a handful, she also makes me feel so much better. She's an older dog and so I'm always worried of losing her soon and I don't think I could handle it. This has been the worst year of my life and if it weren't for her, I don't think I would be here. All the times I got so close to killing myself here, leaving her behind was the main reason I'd try to hold on.. even more than not wanting my dad to find my body. I feel like she needs me just as much as I need her.
I had another cat about ten years ago who I was also attached to, and her to me. She also followed me everywhere, even sat on the side of the tub when I would take a shower. She always slept in my arms with her head resting on my neck when I slept. When I would go for a walk, she would walk right next to me. I once had to pick up something from a friends house, and had to leave her outside for a few minutes because of a dog inside. I came outside and she was gone. I looked forever and never found her. To this day, it still really, really pains me. Especially since she had major separation anxiety.
These are just two examples. I've always felt a deeper connection with animals than people and my love for them has always seemed stronger. Their loss has always hit me harder. I feel like a horrible person that I usually feel more upset about losing my cat than I do about my mom's death. That seems really messed up to me, but it's the truth.
