Discussion Do you have a chronic debilitating condition or just tired of life ?

[Desdemona]

Mostly health condition but I did struggle with depression before too. My illness has given me this weird thing where I view my "past healthy self" as totally happy and wonderful but that's a lie. Brains are weird. My health pushed me enough to find this forum though

 

[longingforfreedom]

Bedridden with chronic pain pudendal neuralgia

I have PN too. Attempted in September and survived with more nerve damage due to being put on life support. Want to die even more, but too afraid to try again for fear of coming back even worse. Just want to die peacefully if this can't be cured.

 

[that_guy2611]

Just tired

 

[Donk]

literally and figuratively tire of life. Depression has drained all my energy and motivation to do even the most simple tasks. Bed is where I spend of my days.

Feel free to PM me if you read this and feel the same way. I'm always open to meeting new people who understands what I'm going through.

 

[longingforfreedom]

Mostly health condition but I did struggle with depression before too. My illness has given me this weird thing where I view my "past healthy self" as totally happy and wonderful but that's a lie. Brains are weird. My health pushed me enough to find this forum though

Same. I was getting healthier and happy. At least compared to now. Now I long for my previous life. This physical pain in unbearable.

 

[johntee2]

I'm just trying to get a sense of how many people are suffering from a specific disease ( physical or mental ) or no longer find life bearable for whatever other reasons that may have led to this point. I am in the latter category.

I had a sudden loss of health due to an adverse reaction to a prescription drug. My cardiovascular autonomic system is shot so I have bizarre heart rate and blood pressure responses. My heart rate doesnt react to stress or exercise. It will kill me soon but it preempted matters by sending me to Hell first. It's frustrating that I was a lab chemist for over 30 years so had access to end of elegant, painless methods of ending the misery but had no need as I was well physically. It's the loss of physical health that's destroyed my mental health. The more I look the harder it looks to achieve a peaceful end. The authorities close every loophole. I tried with balloon gas only to find that it contains enough air to not work. In the lab I would have had pure He, Ar and N2. They are very keen that no one has the audacity to look to control their own destiny. As with most forms of proscription, people are forced to do things crudely in that environment.

 

[Mouse_]

I guess a combination of both?

I'm medicated for depression and minor anxiety, and I live with what I think is undiagnosed adhd and constant, but not severe, gender dysphoria. I believe my depression is a consequence of these last two conditions paired with childhood trauma, and me being tired of living is a consequence of that. As we say in my country "everything makes [good] soup" (god i love this saying)

 

[sleeping_glasses]

It started with anxiety and developed to depression and my recurrent suicidal thoughts. Im going on two medications for my depression. I have my phase of suicidal thoughts.

 

[longingforfreedom]

Pudendal neuralgia and neuropathy in my groin/thigh. I don't want to die, but I can't live much longer with this pain. Had 2 failed attempts. The last one I almost ctb but my SI kicked in as soon as my heart started racing and I felt dizzy. Called out for help. Really wish I wouldn't have. I think I'm more afraid of surviving with more damage.

I had a sudden loss of health due to an adverse reaction to a prescription drug. My cardiovascular autonomic system is shot so I have bizarre heart rate and blood pressure responses. My heart rate doesnt react to stress or exercise. It will kill me soon but it preempted matters by sending me to Hell first. It's frustrating that I was a lab chemist for over 30 years so had access to end of elegant, painless methods of ending the misery but had no need as I was well physically. It's the loss of physical health that's destroyed my mental health. The more I look the harder it looks to achieve a peaceful end. The authorities close every loophole. I tried with balloon gas only to find that it contains enough air to not work. In the lab I would have had pure He, Ar and N2. They are very keen that no one has the audacity to look to control their own destiny. As with most forms of proscription, people are forced to do things crudely in that environment.

So how do we leave? I tried caffeine which almost got me there, but I called out for help, because it was scary as hell. 6 weeks in the hospital with more nerve damage than I had before. I just want to die peacefully in my sleep.

 

[Lost Magic]

long term anxiety, depression, dead relatives that I deeply miss and just plain old boredom. So yeah, it is a combination of many things. I am also tired of human beings and their bullshit.

 

[Echo81]

Both. And more. Several chronic conditions, cardiac, orthopedic, neurological. Add to that the effects of a very traumatic life, add to that the second hand suffering from seeing the destruction of our planet and its ecosystems, the terrible abuse of animals and humans around the world in every culture.

 

[Trisolaris]

I have a physical condition caused by psych meds.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Attachment disorder, possible aneurotypicality and a small chink in my psychological armor that allows for endless "tfw no gf". Life situation is also completely fucked at the moment and has been for like four years. The only thing I'm proud of is being able to cope with this shit and staying frosty enough to get a good attempt in eventually.

 

[Downbylife]

Chronic neuroinfection that won't fucking go away and it's too much for me...