my issue with tv show, fiction, movie, video game, anime .. (things that i used to love) is .. the meaning.It a representation of the world, where people live, die, struggle, try to make meaning of all this shit.Now when i see a movie, i feel detached, distant, and tired thinking about things of life and death.At the same time, im far away of everything of the worlds and stuck in my own pain .when you dont care about your own character in life, its difficult to be impacted by movies.The most triggerings things are the more commun: family fiction, in cant handle it, i dotn hhave any memories of what it is really, so its always pain, or nothing, or the big void /nothing.. dont care if the story is good, im tired with stories.Even killer stories.Music is the exception, or almost.Noise music is interesting for me when i need an externalisation of my chaotic thoughts or when i need to focus on something else.I feel it washes my mind, but its not really an esthetic interest, more like scarification by sound.Black metal also when you re really feel awfull.. because you dont have to be in complexe narrative in thse music, it adresse directly to your feelings if you're sensitive to music(im exrtremly alexithymic, so i can never say how i feel,).Im also really bored with visual art.. same thing, meaning, you can't breath outside this tyranny to make stories.And its ironic because i wished to be an illustrator