Do you guys get worse too when holidays like Christmas or birthday etc ... are approaching?

[S like Siren]

I would like to know how many of you like me get worse when holidays or special days like birthday are approaching ... for example with the approach of Christmas for a few days I have been really bad, my suicidal thoughts are very powerful because I am tired of spending the usual Christmas alone crying ... Christmas reminds me of my suffering every time and I promised myself I would never want to try this pain again every fucking time ... yet here I am again ... I'm afraid of this Christmas ,I am tired...my will of suicide is very high!to which of you does the same thing happen?

 

[Suicidebydeath]

They can absolutely be lowpoints. I always place a very low emphasis on birthdays/Christmas etc that way I can't be disappointed.

 

[IanUK]

Not really - I'm dumb to life most of the time another year means just another year of my pointless existence on this planet. Assuming I don't end it myself a passing year is nearer death. My only feeling at Christmas is mourning those that have gone before me and aren't there to spend the time with - with me I long to be with them. As Covid carries on and the authorities get all wet and excited because they have more power I conclude even more that I don't want to be part of the new normal or whatever else they call it; if this is to be the future give me death.

 

[Sanva]

i always get worse around the holidays because i have to pretend to be normal and happy around my family. I'm sorry for what you're going through, I hope you can maybe find a distraction and find some peace.

 

[Bedrock48]

Although the holiday itself fills me with a lot of happiness, the lead up really makes me worse. People have a lot of expectations around those times which can weigh heavily. On the opposite end like you mentioned the dread of spending that time alone can be equally as heavy. I'm sorry to hear you experience that loneliness OP

 

[S like Siren]

i always get worse around the holidays because i have to pretend to be normal and happy around my family. I'm sorry for what you're going through, I hope you can maybe find a distraction and find some peace.

Yeah,it's hard...thank you for your words:)

Although the holiday itself fills me with a lot of happiness, the lead up really makes me worse. People have a lot of expectations around those times which can weigh heavily. On the opposite end like you mentioned the dread of spending that time alone can be equally as heavy. I'm sorry to hear you experience that loneliness OP

Yeah...It hurts because Christmas or celebrations in general are made up of sharing and being together ... thank you :)

 

[youraffection]

I actually like Christmas because it means a break from college. It's also nice to see my relatives be happy with the celebrations.

For my birthday, it's more bittersweet. It's nice to see that some people care, but it also feels like they're wasting their efforts on someone like me.

I suppose I get it a bit easier as I had a more closed-off personality my entire life. My family is kinda used to me going off on my own and not really joining the celebrations.

 

[S like Siren]

but it also feels like they're wasting their efforts on someone like me.

On someone like you?Never think that you are worth little and that you are not worth the effort of others .... of course you are worth and that you deserve many wonderful things:)

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Christmas is horrible for me. Ever since my mom passed, (was her favorite holiday,) and spending last year working 14 hours on Christmas day then sleeping in the woods that night in freezing weather, it's just a stark reminder of how garbage my life is.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not like Christmas, anything associated with it irritates me, but all holidays are just another day for me of suffering. Nothing changes. I do not celebrate anything. There is nothing worth celebrating in such a horrible life.

 

[S like Siren]

Christmas is horrible for me. Ever since my mom passed, (was her favorite holiday,) and spending last year working 14 hours on Christmas day then sleeping in the woods that night in freezing weather, it's just a stark reminder of how garbage my life is.

Why did you sleep in the woods that night if I may ask? I'm sorry for what you went through and for the death of your mother ...
:( but I understand the feeling you have at Christmas

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Long story. Last year and this year were basically a downward spiral for me. Partially my fault, but moreso the cruelty and controlling nature of others.

 

[S like Siren]

Long story. Last year and this year were basically a downward spiral for me. Partially my fault, but moreso the cruelty and controlling nature of others.

Oh:(i'm really sorry for what you went and you are going through:(

 

[hlynn95]

I feel the same way, sadly. I don't have much family besides immediate and we don't get along very well. The holidays are an extra sore point as I see everyone on social media having a fun time with their family and I don't have that. I'm extremely isolated and lonely :',(

I do not like Christmas, anything associated with it irritates me, but all holidays are just another day for me of suffering. Nothing changes. I do not celebrate anything. There is nothing worth celebrating in such a horrible life.

Lol you reply to every single thread huh! XD

 

[S like Siren]

I feel the same way, sadly. I don't have much family besides immediate and we don't get along very well. The holidays are an extra sore point as I see everyone on social media having a fun time with their family and I don't have that. I'm extremely isolated and lonely :',(

Lol you reply to every single thread huh! XD

Yeah,It is very painful...we are in two,lonliness is cruel:(

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I ignore holidays entirely . My lifestyle has been such for years that I don't even notice them unless I see reminders in public

Especially shopsmas

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

Oh absolutely. When my birthday is approaching I become extremely suicidal, it pretty much takes up the entire season my birthday falls in.

 

[S like Siren]

I ignore holidays entirely . My lifestyle has been such for years that I don't even notice them unless I see reminders in public

Especially shopsmas

I wish I could be able to do this ... unfortunately the holidays remind me how sad my life is ... I can't ignore them

Oh absolutely. When my birthday is approaching I become extremely suicidal, it pretty much takes up the entire season my birthday falls in.

Totally the same....my birthday is absolutly the day i suffer more

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I wish I could be able to do this ... unfortunately the holidays remind me how sad my life is ... I can't ignore them

Totally the same....my birthday is absolutly the day i suffer more

You're not alone. I'm sorry.

 

[S like Siren]

You're not alone. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry for you too:( <3

 

[SlipAway]

I would like to know how many of you like me get worse when holidays or special days like birthday are approaching ... for example with the approach of Christmas for a few days I have been really bad, my suicidal thoughts are very powerful because I am tired of spending the usual Christmas alone crying ... Christmas reminds me of my suffering every time and I promised myself I would never want to try this pain again every fucking time ... yet here I am again ... I'm afraid of this Christmas ,I am tired...my will of suicide is very high!to which of you does the same thing happen?

Oh ya. Christmas is so emotionally fraught and gaudy. It just wears me out with all the ho ho fuckin' ho. For me, stepping outside and breathing the clean, cold air of New England settles me somewhat. And it helps that I try harder to avoid "chirpy" Christmas fans who grate on my nerves. You have a lot of company S.

 

[S like Siren]

Oh ya. Christmas is so emotionally fraught and gaudy. It just wears me out with all the ho ho fuckin' ho. For me, stepping outside and breathing the clean, cold air of New England settles me somewhat. And it helps that I try harder to avoid "chirpy" Christmas fans who grate on my nerves. You have a lot of company S.

Christmas is then the celebration par excellence of sharing, of family and friends .... and for those who have no one it is an unspeakable torture.thank you:)

 

[MelancholyMagic]

I feel worse than usual during the "holiday season". Whether this is from the actual holidays or just it being winter, I'm not sure. I think it is a mixture of both. I do feel particularly sad on the actual day of the holidays, usually because I think about family and stuff related to that. I used to think more about stuff I was missing out on too, but not as much anymore with that.
I do feel worse on my birthday. It's a miserable day. And family members' birthdays as well.

 

[Ryscatto]

Yeah it's rough. Hearing all the happy jingly Christmas music everywhere makes me feel much worse. The ironic part is that around this time people in public get way more stressed, grumpy, rushed and nasty. All over a day. A friggen day. The day itself doesn't bother me so much but all the lead up is just ugh.

 

[S like Siren]

Yeah it's rough. Hearing all the happy jingly Christmas music everywhere makes me feel much worse. The ironic part is that around this time people in public get way more stressed, grumpy, rushed and nasty. All over a day. A friggen day. The day itself doesn't bother me so much but all the lead up is just ugh.

You are so right!!

 

[BornDead]

Yeah. Certain holidays are bothersome but I feel that it is better to just prepare before the time. You.migjt not have a hold of the chronological time spam but you will.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Yes. This Xmas lead up is a real struggle.

 

[stellabelle]

Yes. Because those holidays could be fantastic but they were just used as an excuse to fuck with people.

 

[emmarg]

Yes, I always convince myself that the holidays will be great. I do everything I can to make them great (buy really thoughtful gifts for everyone, try to plan dinner and everything well) but no one ever appreciates it. My mom usually has some kind of meltdown and screams and cries on the kitchen floor. I always get upset on my birthday for no reason, though.

 

[S like Siren]

Yes, I always convince myself that the holidays will be great. I do everything I can to make them great (buy really thoughtful gifts for everyone, try to plan dinner and everything well) but no one ever appreciates it. My mom usually has some kind of meltdown and screams and cries on the kitchen floor. I always get upset on my birthday for no reason, though.

I too try to organize myself and do something nice (cook themed sweets and dress pretty) but in one way or another it always ends in tragedy and tears