Do you feel weak because your alive?

[why am i alive?]

I feel weak. Weak for everytime I flinch while selfharm. I feel weak for still being alive. Weak for the fear that still lives within me.

 

[Chronosphere]

Yes. But also I feel guilty. People kill themselves everyday and I can't. What kind of a trash am I if I can't do the only thing that matters.

 

[Darmok]

Yes. I've tried a couple times, but I can't seem to follow through where others have done so.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, as it's not my fault that I exist. I never consented to being burdened with the ability to exist in this hellish and harmful reality where I'm denied the option to peacefully cease existing on my own terms. Existence itself and this evil world are the problem to me, I'd never choose existence, I wish I never existed at all.

 

[QueerMelancholy]

Hard to say really. I used to feel weak when I felt like it was me that was in the wrong but you get a little older and you realize that the world is just so absurd that most people don't even care enough to comment or have a deep opinion about you or even if they do they're exposing your weakness to protect their ego in some strange attempt to shield themselves from the fear they feel.

We're all a little scared all the time about something. I don't even think most people ruminate on it enough for it to be considered a weakness it's more like just this underlying fear in the back of everyone's mind that we don't really understand so we appraise it as a weakness when it's just human to feel afraid.

Being alive is probably the hardest thing to do even when we or others make it look so easy. There's so much uncertainty involved that people make a lot of money pretending to see into the future just to calm that primal fear in our hearts.

You're not weak for knowing fear. I think anyone who knows they're afraid and can find any amount of strength to overcome it even in the smallest of ways is as strong as they need to be in that moment. That's really all life is, a strung-together collage of mistakes and failures that "normal" optimistic people reappraise as silver linings towards a better and less confusing narrative. Like we're all telling our stories in the best light possible to protect ourself from the beast that is existential dread.

You're not alone in being human. None of us really are.

 

[tbroken]

I have enough money to survive a decade and SN here with me.
I just want to burn all the things i have before dying, maybe they are not that much, but they are valuable to me(i earned them) and i don't want to share them with the people that hurt me and did not consider me.

 

[Unknown21]

I feel weak. Weak for everytime I flinch while selfharm. I feel weak for still being alive. Weak for the fear that still lives within me.

This is exactly what I feel. I feel humiliated that I am alive and I also feel guilty. Although my method is ready, I have not taken that step yet. I do not know why I am procrastinating. Maybe I have not fully accepted death idk but I'm really tired and wish this end bc my life getting worse and will continue.

 

[xoirse]

i feel the same. it's like your presence alone in this life is draining. in my case, i hate how i look so much and living in this body has made it even worse. despite tiring and knowing it's gonna make me feel weak, i'll always hate how my body looks.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't feel weak in the way you describe it. However, when I see the word weak, I think of being mentally and physically exhausted which is something that I experience everyday. I wish I was never born to begin with

 

[sserafim]

No, I don't feel weak because I'm alive. It wasn't my choice to be brought into existence. I was forced into it against my will and without a choice. Living/staying alive is just the lesser of two evils. It's the better choice between two options (live or DIY ctb), which both suck

 

[sadman710]

I think about a lot if I'm already dead. That this is just some simulation. What does it mean? What is the purpose of this? The fact of the matter is we all turn to dust and bone one day. No matter who. So, if that is the case, what is the purpose at all of this existence? At our core we started as base chemicals. So really, are we just some complex mixture of atoms just reacting to things, "evolving" into something bigger, which is why the old life form CTBs?

But why do we even expand? Why do we go extinct? The process has been altered by technology / machine, already altered mildly by civilized man, which is why I believe this modern world is an inevitable suicide for this species. AI is the point where we are guaranteed useless at a point. The organic life that took so long was just manufactured for the creation of self guiding machines.

We either destroy the machines, or destroy ourselves and possibly this entire planet / galaxy.

Nuclear weaponry doesn't allow cells to continue post death. These atoms are altered or destroyed.

AI and nuclear weaponry is the destruction of life. And our complacency in these developments render us as completely useless. A walking suicidal species, that sacrificed the planet and their own happiness, meaning, autonomy, and mystery in the world for a soulless invention of machine destruction.

We are a virus by definition. Scientists used to call viruses living, now they don't. Where is the fine line between life and death?

In other words, I'm already living death. Just chemically reacting. And when I choose to go, naturally or not, all that is gone are the problems of this sick trash modern existence, instead of a dream of a place of instinctual satisfaction. These are erased, and everything you do that renders life hellish today is nothing but a big gamble. And the odds are more and more in the houses favor.

I'm no longer living in this place, because I gave up with this horrific modern existence. I'm like a ghost, just in its own plane sucking as much as it can before it vanishes, without any other concern.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Yes I feel weak cause I haven't been able to focus on getting a method ready to go and doing it. Everyone's brain is programmed especially as a child. I was made to be weak , unfocused , undisciplined,fearful etc.

I know that I have to kill myself but it's very difficult to get yourself to do it

It takes work focus and great strength and courage to kill yourself with SN , jumping , hanging, shooting yourself etc . I'm not that strong yet but trying to change the programming but it's very difficult.

 

[Red Moon]

I don't feel weak because I have tried to not quit and It wasn't my choice to be born in the first place. I could hang or shoot myself if I really wanted but guns are banned in the country I'm from and hanging I might become a vegetable If I fail.

 

[iloveduster]

I feel weak, really weak. In a way, I think I failed everything in my life. I really wish I could just be in that quiet little peace when people die but I know I'm gonna fail even dying. My life is really over. I don't have friends, I'm always struggling with money, I'm not even over any of the toxic friendships, abusive relationships or abusive parents I had. Anytime someone is nice to me I push them away because I'm terrified of everything. I can't even work properly because I'm scared of people. I'm scared of doing the wrong thing. I really don't have anything and I can't even die. I feel so damn weak.

 

[chiefkeefgaming37]

100%

 

[grungy自殺]

I'm not weak, but rather ashamed of myself still being here as i know that the time will come that i'll seriously cease to breathe and i'll be rested in peace

But it feels so unbearable living through this shit hole, as there is so many times where i want to end it right now and that those that are wanting me to stay are
Preventing me achieving the peace that i want and the more i'm here still standing, the more i regret not doing it earlier.

 

[Ash]

Nobody is weak for having a nervous system or emotions. Whatever else is going on in our lives, whatever our reasons for wanting to die, being a living, breathing mammal is not a flaw in and of itself.