Do you feel like you’ve wasted potential?

[EyesOfNight]

Potential this, potential that, who cares. We aren't machines that need to be optimised to perfection. I once thought the opposite but then realised how stupid that is when a person told me that I hadn't reached my full potential yet. I am who I am and that's that. If I want to pursue something because it fulfills me then I can but I don't have to reach my full potential(whatever that's even supposed to mean).

 

[fleshgarden]

oh yes. I grew up a very smart child. I hit burnout in middle school and stopped wanting to learn because I grew so depressed and didn't care about my future. now I still like learning, but I've missed so much potential because of my grades. I only recently thought I could maybe go to college, but I failed 9th grade and have a 1.7 gpa because of it.. I always thought I could make a career as an artist, it's been a lifelong passion of mine. but now I am pretty sure I've completely stagnated in it my entire life. I want to quit art now. I also love coding. but I don't feel like it lately. I've put a lot of time into my music, but no one wants to listen to it. I'm not smart nor do I have any special talent.. I am not sure to do. this also having autism, there's no way I could even do a regular half time job to support myself. honestly, one of the reasons I want to ctb is that I have no hope for my future. I'd probably become homeless. my girlfriend would probably leave me because of my lack of being able to support us. I'm scared for it, and I said i'id move in with her next year but really I just hope I die before I have all these adult responsibilities I could never do..
I've also lost potential in my friendships, I've spent a lot of my time being depressed around them and not responding to messages. I know I just struggle with that, but I wish I had friends who didn't see me as that.. it's just really hard t o pretend I don't struggle with talking to people and how depression drains my energy as soon as I wake up in the morning.
a positive thing about myself I think, is that I'm pretty intellectual and I like to see things as they are. I'll explain these things to people who are having problems in order to help them. it mostly comes from my interest in psychology and philosophy. sadly I can't really apply this skill to anything, I'd need a degree to have this kind of job.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

From the start I had no potential.
Though I had something beneficial,
I was hopeless at making money -
I'm not accurate, fast or funny.

I had to meet huge expectations,
In this world ruled by corporations.
Though I was supposed to go through,
I was crushed - I got bipolar II.

And I'm a disabled worker now.
Everyone says you reap what you sow.
Though my life is now total disgrace,
I'm looking for something to embrace.

Or maybe that you haven't wasted it yet, but that you would if you decided to end your life?

The only thing I think I should do is to live without my parents' assistance, and I'm potentially be able to do that, so if I ruined the chance then it might be the time to go. I'm 36 and still live with my parents, and I don't want to be alive when they kick me out from their house and I end up on the street.

 

[Malaria]

Absolutely. It's one of the reasons I'm suicidal.

 

[fallingtopieces]

The word potential is terrible and overused in our society. As Issa Rae reminded in AF, "potential is what people see when what's in front of them isn't good enough."

This is one of those words that are neither helpful, except to further create a society where everyone must be rated. I would recommend ignoring that word, as well as ridding yourself of 'best'. Life is about developing and really always learning no matter the age. Learning about ourselves, the world outside, other humans. Learning about our relationship to ourselves and to the outside world and other humans.

Fuckk potential, tune that shit out best u can. I especially dislike how it's used towards younger people.

 

[Lady Laudanum]

In some ways, yes. But it doesn't really matter because I also achieved some things that most of my peers haven't yet.

 

[Ash]

My family insisted when I was a child that I was really clever. I knew I was better than average but not top of the class. The inevitable failure vs results as expected has set me up for a lifetime of dread if anyone tells me I'm really good at something as I automatically assume I'm not as good as they think and genuinely can't tell the difference. So the answer will vary wildly depending on who you ask.

 

[etherealspring]

I definitely relate to this. I live my life feeling like a failure and i see myself as irredeemable

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No, I never really had any potential to begin with because I got a case of ASD which isn't me being a hyper genius savant. I was good at academics when I was younger (aside from english) but that doesn't matter now as, since I'm in university, I need to study as much as other people do to not fail in academics. Besides, even if I did have potential, I wouldn't bother using it. Why would I? I have no interest in trying my hardest in everything. Ever since I was born, I preferred inertia and doing as little as I can which is what I've been doing my entire life so far (I never really interacted with anybody in school, I never did any extra curriculars, I never went beyond what I had to do). Therefore, even if I did have potential, I wouldn't use it because I always preferred inertia. Maybe that's why I like death so much as a dead person is in the ultimate state of inertia

 

[lizzywizzy09]

My whole life is one giant pile of wasted potential. It's soul crushing and the extent of it can only happen to someone as stupid as me.

 

[ChiseHatori]

Oh yes. All the time. Everyone around me is successful in some respect, I had things going for me, but my physical body and mental health took it all away...

 

[RemainingDubious]

Nope, i let my ego and pride die years ago when i realised they weren't worth the cost and have only helped make me miserable.

i realised that there isn't a single thing i can do that someone else couldn't do better. There isn't a single thing i can do that will somehow impact this hellhole and make it better.

i let go of delusions like "potentially" and embraced facts.

 

[untothedepths]

I don't think, I know.

 

[AlouA]

Or maybe that you haven't wasted it yet, but that you would if you decided to end your life?

I've already wasted a lot of mine. I used to be an academically gifted student, but I ended up dropping out. School made me even more anxious and depressed than I already was. And now I can't bring myself to get back into it.

All I have left is art. If my mental state doesn't improve, I don't think I can get very far with it no matter how good I am. So maybe I don't hold any real potential for success anymore.

I'm a massive disappointment to everyone around me and myself.

I am with you here... I dropped out two years ago just few days in grade 12 because of social anxiety... i just couldnt.. you know what the funny part is? i was an honor student right before that grade but my mind was too focused on my surroundings , especially peers.. i cant say i dont regret my decision back then because until now i couldnt imagine myself getting back to it.. ive wasted two years... last year was rough that was when i finally consulted a therapist... but this crippling social anxiety has been going on since i was in 6th grade... I feel so disappointed on myself.. i just wanna go back in time.. even though my parents back then werent supportive i shouldve just persevered.. last year was worse, i felt so old going back to that same classroom that i once dropped out even tho i was only 1 year ahead of then (because i dropped out when i was 17 so i came back when i was 18 right after dropping out) they werent as welcoming and friendly as those classmates that i had when i first dropped out.. why did i even let that one insult stopped me.. i know my mind isnt in a very stable state back then so i cant really put blame on myself.. to be freaking h9nest i blame my narcissistic parents for how they treated me.. it affected how i act and make decisions outside of our home , i became a really quiet kid because i wasnt allowed to even go against the slightest to their opinions.. i always thought that my opinion doesnt have an impact and that its better if somebody else makes the decision.. the part that really hurts me tho is that theyre not aware of it because they grew up in really toxic households too , both of them.. thats why i despise people who chose to conceive children unreadily ..qnd it was only when i was 17 the same year i dropped out that i discovered i was unplanned aka an accident, that explains why i was always treated as if im their minion i wasnt granted authority over stuffs i wasnt allowed to make my own decision .. i was an accident on my fathers perspective but on my mother's itw as a lil bit different as apparently she wanted to have me so she can get out of their household aka family so what other way can she get out aside from getting pregnant right? and so i was conceived because of that selfish reason.. it just hurts me that i was brought upon into this survival of the fittest environment because an individual wanted out of her own situation, in that case my mum... but nevertheless i still consider myself lucky compared to others that have demonic parents.. , my parents provide the basics like meals 2 times a day.. im so envious of my peers that had succeeded in life or are starting their life already because they were in a secure , supportive , and loving environment.. mine is very inconsistent and unstable , sometimes its good most times its bad.. thats why i am very confused about how to feel..

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I know this is a slightly old thread, but only a month. I was going to post something along the same lines but I decided to search beforehand so the same question isn't asked 1 million times. This will be a long post because I don't think it has a simple answer.

Personally, I don't think I'm wasting potential currently. I would say I captured potential by the balls to be honest lol. After high school, I was honestly a NEET. Some people say that with pride, but I was personally ashamed of being NEET (I don't knock anyone who does, it just wasn't for me, I just want to clarify that). It took a bad breakup to break this cycle for me. A girl cheated on me and I'm inclined to believe part of it was me being a NEET. despite the fact we had no issues financially, I had savings to still buy gifts or go on dates. After she cheated, I kicked myself in the ass and decided to join college in the summer of 2023. That's how badly I desired change, I didn't want to wait until the fall and I honestly don't regret it one bit. Funnily enough, I joined college nearly a year after the guy she cheated on me with, and he's done poorly and fucked up his scheduling bad enough that we're looking at being in the same graduation class in community college at least. Anyways, I am majoring in Computer Science and joined some extracurriculars, have plans to join clubs in Uni, and attempt to land an internship. I'm hoping for NASA for no particular reason besides I think Aerospace is an incredibly fascinating field and NASA is like the golden goose there.

So in short, yes, I do think I'd be wasting potential if I CTB. Right now, life feels really unfulfilling but it's only because I'm in a shitty summer job with no classes, I put a lot of my worth in classes, which is causing me issues now since I don't have that to fall back on when I'm stressed. I do Kahn Academy but it isn't the same :/. I always did homework or tried to get ahead in classes when I was stressed, it was literally like a coping mechanism for me. The only benefit is I'm making money to save and just have some fun every week. I try to go out of town or do something after ever weekend to help me get through the weekend (my longest days, about 10-12 hours in the summer heat) and keep myself sane.

Hopefully I can avoid CTB for long enough so I can at least complete my degree and see if that provides me a better QoL, and if it does I might stick around even longer than I initially planned.

 

[avalonisburning]

I'm ~$2k away from having squandered my father's life insurance policy, which was entrusted to me about six years ago. It was the only advantage I had in life, and I have nothing to show for it.

 

[annointed_towers]

I have a masters degree from Harvard but am now a NEET due to chronic illness

 

[yxmux]

Maybe. I don't believe it to be my fault though for where I've ended up. I'm not a believer of free will nor do I believe it is useful to act as if there is. It's ultimately our judgement that has been shaped by our environments and development that has agency over our decisions, even if that judgement is under the influence.

I see life as a roll of many dice more than anything. You may roll many sixes, or many ones. Each die playing a niche role in the particular direction your life heads towards. And you simply make do with the numbers you've rolled. It doesn't matter if some numbers are better than others. A 6+1 roll isn't any better than a 3+4 roll, for instance, and you can't swap the 1 out for another number so long as it's a product of your roll. Perhaps the next number could be another 6, or another 1. That's for the world to decide.

 

[bed]

Somewhat, I wasted years of my life but at the same time I don't fit into society because of the conditions I have, nor did I get the correct help and support at the right time.

This is how I feel. With correct support things could have been so different.

 

[sugarb]

Yeah. I probably could've been a really good creative (artist/songwriter/writer/game designer/screenwriter/etc) if I had the will.

My biggest hope for whatever comes after is that I'll be able to see my thoughts become reality or maybe look at what I could've accomplished. That'd be really cool.

 

[abchia]

I never felt I had much potential to begin with. but wasted life?, yeah definitely.

 

[no_tomorrow]

Yes x 1,000,000%

The world didn't want me, however. So, the world can go fuck itself. I won't feel too bad from that regard with my upcoming suicide event. My parents however will be devastated. and they are old, I don't think they will have enough time left in their lives for the pain to subside. I hope they can forget about me :(

 

[permanently tired]

I was also always told that I had a bright future ahead of me, but I never wanted a future anyways. I never saw one for myself. My sister is more successful than me (she's at an Ivy right now and is pre-law), and my parents compare me to her even though I'm the older one. They say that my sister is "doing what she's supposed to" and they use this to put me down for being a NEET. They say that they're nice to me for allowing me to NEET after college and that they wouldn't let my sister do the same. If she did, she'd be kicked out. They expect my sister to go to law school and be a lawyer. It's honestly annoying to see her outshine me though

I used to be envious of my sister for going to a prestigious school and trying to become a doctor, but now idgaf. I've accepted I'm not academic. I'm objectively not interested in living and I've let go of a lot of human concepts if you will. I used to have self esteem issues but now I get to feel nothing

 

[brokeandbroken]

No but I can relate. I was close to reaching mine in medical school studying to be an oncologist. Then I was the victim of crimes by the medical school and everyone threw my future away. No one gave a shit. Not my "family", not so called friends, not the world, no one. No help, no trying to get me back on my feet, no kind hearted lawyer, no person trying to help me get a lawyer, no even real mental health help. Nothing. Just abandoned. So i know how it feels but it is different. i experience the same depression but I also experience anger/rage. And I imagine you have stepping stones to reaching yours still. All mine were used and then stripped away from me. My life life potential now is homelessness basically. Societies outcast and whipping boy.

 

[lawlietsph]

I'm not sure. I want to say I have always been a failure, maybe that way it would hurt less.
But if I'm being honest with myself:
I was a pretty kid. I am a female btw, I've had long, curly, blonde hair, blue eyes, and just a somewhat pretty face in general. I hate to look at old photos, because I can barely recognize myself now.
Now my hair has fallen out, it's damaged and not pretty at all. My eyes are ugly, dark, sad. My whole face is like someone else's; it's deeply sad, sad, sad, I look old. I look like i'm 40, but i'm just 28.

About talent: I was very good with speeches, even in front of big crowds. Learning foreign languages was a piece of cake. I was extremely strong and athletic.

I loved to do sports. It was my biggest dream to play tennis or do show jumping in a competitive level.
But every time I've turned to my parents with my ideas, they would laugh at me and say something that would absolutely destroy my self confidence. They were always too busy killing each other anyway.
I feel like I could've been so much more. I was a child with extremely strong mindset when it comes to bravery, hard work, etc...
Wow, it sounds like i'm being cocky.
But the truth is that I deeply, deeeeeeeply hate myself now. I feel disgusted just by looking in the mirror. I hate my personality, the way I cry at everything, the way I am being extremely jealous to anyone who's more successful than me. I hate myself for being passive aggressive until I blow up like a fucking bomb and destroy everything around me. I hate that I am so extremely weak and overweight. I hate that I think deeply about stuff instead of just "enjoying life". I should be enjoying life, right? Everyone says this.
I hate the way I look, I hate the way I think, I hate the way I simply CANNOT be happy.
I hate the fact that I've wasted my youth to mental illnesses. I hate myself for being almost unemployed at the age of 28.

I think in my case it was my environment what destroyed me. Maybe I am prone to mental illnesses by genetics too (considering every single family member of mine is either depressed, suicidal, borderline, bipolar or narcissistic). But if my 6 years old self would see me now, she would be shocked and disgusted too.

 

[Timothy7dff]

I did my best. I could have reached my potential without the deep state dropping grenades on my head.

You take away someone's money, health, and friends and no one is reaching some great potential.

Extrajudicial punishment programs are brutal and they last forever.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

School made me anxious, insecure and depressed too either socially or by failing to meet expectations I didn't understand/approve.

I try to be real with myself when I can so I won't deny I could've been something much greater but then my life started to fall apart, problems began to pile up and my capacity to solve the problems or cope vanishing. I am an empty shell of something that keyword: "could" have been something greater.

However such is life, such was my fate in the end, for as unfortunate as it is. However as serafim said: who's anyone to tell me what I should've achieved?

 

[zengiraffe]

I don't believe in potential. Also, even when a person meets some imaginary potential or accomplishes some big long-term goal they aren't happy for long, maybe a few days tops, then it's back to the grind, and new potentials and new long-term goals need to be invented to keep the person going.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

The way I see it, it was never really potential in the first place if it was wasted.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

I did my best. I could have reached my potential without the deep state dropping grenades on my head.

You take away someone's money, health, and friends and no one is reaching some great potential.

Extrajudicial punishment programs are brutal and they last forever.

Did you get gang-stalked or something?