Do you feel like you’ve wasted potential?

[TuttiFrutti]

Or maybe that you haven't wasted it yet, but that you would if you decided to end your life?

I've already wasted a lot of mine. I used to be an academically gifted student, but I ended up dropping out. School made me even more anxious and depressed than I already was. And now I can't bring myself to get back into it.

All I have left is art. If my mental state doesn't improve, I don't think I can get very far with it no matter how good I am. So maybe I don't hold any real potential for success anymore.

I'm a massive disappointment to everyone around me and myself.

 

[sserafim]

Yes. I've wasted my potential by becoming a NEET after graduating college. I don't care about the fact that I'm a "disappointment" to everyone around me though. Why should I be obligated to achieve anything? I never asked to be born, so why is there this inherent expectation to be successful or "do something"?

 

[Rocinante]

Or maybe that you haven't wasted it yet, but that you would if you decided to end your life?

Yes since it would be me giving up on any future I still had. Too optimistic about the future rn

 

[sserafim]

Yes since it would be me giving up on any future I still had. Too optimistic about the future rn

I never even wanted a future anyways. I never wanted to become an adult. I was forced to be one against my will. I never wanted to grow up in the first place. I didn't want to live past 18. I hope to ctb before 25 to never have to adult or live out adulthood

 

[lastexit717@proton.]

Yes , i think im a good illustrator, i have a talent for speaking in public and considere myself a lively alert person eager to learn , but i always pass as unlikeable even my own family , i have several relatives in positions of power , some in executive world some in goverment, they cant help , they dont want to , my youth is fading its kinda sad because i know my parents know what a waste i turned to be , always failing to get a job or a partner , and they are sad because of it , and know my sanity slowly melting because of one mmistake, only the void is left

 

[Red Moon]

Somewhat, I wasted years of my life but at the same time I don't fit into society because of the conditions I have, nor did I get the correct help and support at the right time.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Oh absolutely. Many people would kill to have the opportunities I've squandered. I wish somebody could just hijack my body and overwrite my consciousness to make something better of my life than what I'm doing with it. It might be too late now though so you'd have to find me in the past if you were to attempt such a thing though.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Not entirely. I worked damn hard with my natural strengths to do a job I at least used to find fulfilling. I took massive risks. I did a second degree in my late 20's, early 30's. I've moved all over the country a few times to pursue my career. But now, nothing feels worth it. Maybe I could have climbed higher if I'd gotten over my social anxiety and lack of confidence but nah- I think I gave life a good shot- in terms of fulfilling my career potential anyhow. In a way, it's more the feeling of- well- to some degree, you've achieved what you set out to do- are you pleased? No? Then it wasn't worth it was it? Oh well- at least you tried. But, it makes me feel more confident I suppose that CTB is the right thing for me.

 

[Abyssal]

It was always going to end up this way, I truly believe that, but if life wasn't dictated heavily by my surroundings I could've been someone. I'm not very smart but I could've been useful if not so mentally ill

 

[LowLevelChimp]

I've wasted some of my potential particularly the last nine years but prior to that I was doing well materially but I was drinking alcoholically so I guess I never fulfilled my potential then either.

I've done some good things and travelled, university etc. but I've done bad things, 3x CTB attempts, CR and hurt many people just don't think I've ever been the best I can be and I'm too old now, so just staying in the mediocre lane now and keeping my head down hoping I don't feel like CTB again.

 

[Hotsackage]

Nah. Come as you are

 

[TuttiFrutti]

Nah. Come as you are

What do you mean?

 

[Hotsackage]

You're not responsible for your state of being. You just go with what you're brain or body give you. This is a very radical and difficult thing to digest, but in otherwirds give up the resistance

 

[TuttiFrutti]

I've wasted some of my potential particularly the last nine years but prior to that I was doing well materially but I was drinking alcoholically so I guess I never fulfilled my potential then either.

I've done some good things and travelled, university etc. but I've done bad things, 3x CTB attempts, CR and hurt many people just don't think I've ever been the best I can be and I'm too old now, so just staying in the mediocre lane now and keeping my head down hoping I don't feel like CTB again.

What's CR?

 

[martinso67]

I feel "both". On one side that I did not find a way to take advantage fully of my potential and not reach only a part of my goals and abilities. But on the other side, I did not get support or a chance by my parents or worse by society to develop fully.

Society and doctors, physicians have let me down. Like I could not grow teeth and jaw. They are crooked. I also have a very high short sightedness, asthma and fatigue. But society me caused me that inderectly and did not give me help on how to heal or overcome that.

I do not now care about my potential really. Society does not deserve my potential and my real me that would have developed. I would have done so much. I also would have gave back to the country by financial investments and charity.

 

[DeathOfKane]

Honestly, I don't know. I hope this message doesn't turn out long but I'll explain.

People have told me all my life I have potential to be something big. I was one of those "gifted" kids. I don't see the gift or big potential people talk about. I've been hearing it from way before I was the age of 10 up until now and I still don't see it. I don't find myself to be special or have true potential worth living for.

People always call me high functioning and tell me I can do anything and that's simply not true. They don't know that I'm not high functioning. What I really am is mentally ill. I equate my self worth to productivity and what I can accomplish. It's extremely unhealthy yet can't break that mentality so it is what it is. All of the high functioning things I do, is done because mentally if I don't do this I'm worthless and don't deserve anything good. All that over exerting and burning myself out is a product of myself and my environment and should not be celebrated. They don't know how draining it is for me to mask to fit into society to do all these things. Every "accomplishment" has sucked the life out of me. That's why I'm never proud. I'm never proud of my accomplishments because that's not what they are. I have drill sergeant in my head who tells me if I don't do these things I deserved all the abuse I faced because I'm nothing. It is not at all potential.

 

[Z-A]

Almost in every aspect. Field of study, relationship, mental health. I failed at almost everything that is irreversible now. It hurts to live like this, wanting to die while constantly trying to escape reality or distract yourself from it because it's just so hard to look at.

 

[Moonlit_Gaze]

I was told that I was gifted from a young age, and so I naively followed that conception until middle school.

Nothing posed that much challenge to me academics wise until a certain point where I just couldn't keep up because I didn't study.

After that point, I flunked most of my subjects, and it left me questioning who I really was if I wasn't this person people told me who I was.

Since then, there's this voice that gnaws at me saying that I wasted my potential. My self esteem is nonexistent at this point.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Can't feel like you've wasted your potential when you never had potential in the first place

 

[Raindancer]

Not so much that I squandered it, but the cards I got dealt sucked. As far as I know, my health issues started around 12 but even though my damn diagnosis was there for all to see it got missed. So for many years I was pat on the head and shoved out the door. I worked my ass off to graduate college even though I had to drop out 3 different semesters due to health. I got about as far I had wanted to go in my career, loved every minute of it until physically I could not do it anymore. If the damn doctors had caught my disease early enough, I may have been able to go into remission, not now. Even after having cancer where they should have been paying attention, they missed it. The damage was done by the time it was diagnosed. I've lost a lot, but I did all I could.

 

[botanist_dude]

Or maybe that you haven't wasted it yet, but that you would if you decided to end your life?

I've already wasted a lot of mine. I used to be an academically gifted student, but I ended up dropping out. School made me even more anxious and depressed than I already was. And now I can't bring myself to get back into it.

All I have left is art. If my mental state doesn't improve, I don't think I can get very far with it no matter how good I am. So maybe I don't hold any real potential for success anymore.

I'm a massive disappointment to everyone around me and myself.

Oooff this resonates so much with me. I've disappointed everyone in my life so much it's even a bit comical. I was about to ctb but stopped myself because of my baby. But I'll still do it once he's an adult

 

[delta.sigma]

Not so much as wasted potential, more like perpetually hindered and continuously repressed.

Although there's not much consolation in the rationalization of it.

 

[terra.nuvo]

I definitely feel like i've wasted all my potential all the time. I'm a college dropout who has been forced to work dead-end jobs to survive and it hurts so much. I could've been so much but I let my emotions control me. And now I'm here.

 

[Finalnight]

I've never had any potential whatsoever, and I feel it's almost like I was engineered to be this way, a complete failure in life

 

[Crash_Bash_Dash]

I honestly don't know have I ever had so much potential as a human-being. I've always been too hasty, stingy, lazy or talentless to concentrate or invest my time/interest/money on anything particularly interesting that have been interesting along the way. Perfectionism has been my enemy for a very long time in my life and has prevented or at least hampered me from doing the things I've enjoyed. Sometimes I have had somewhat remarkable ideas though not so remarkable to make a difference or being able to process them into something creative. But that's past too, nothing interesting or revolutionary nowadays comes into my mind. At school I've been average or good but because I have practically dropped out of university for few years I feel I can't go there anymore because of my current situation/brain. This all is so irritating, frustrating and painful but I don't know, maybe I should just stop caring because all I can blame about this is myself.

 

[AsTheWorldCaves]

Wasted most of my potential sure. I'm trying to do at least one cool thing to use up my talents before I go. Hopefully it will wrap in January, and I'll send it out into the world, and that will be my last word.

 

[112]

Yes, although I don't dwell on it. I was a "gifted kid" who never wanted to do anything. I never had aspirations and did what I could to get out of school early. I was expelled from two schools in the 2nd grade and thereafter was homeschooled. My early life was spent mostly at home playing video games; I didn't do much schoolwork. I dropped out of high school a few times before finishing a year late. Most of my early adulthood was spent chronically or otherwise episodically homeless. I've moved back in with my family now and am 27. I survive on a disability income and have autism and bipolar i diagnoses.

What I really want in life is to be a parent, although that may never happen. I've recently enrolled in an online distance education program to upgrade my 12th grade English and acquire 12th grade math, which I didn't do in the course of graduating. I'm doing well and am nearing the half-way point for the English class. I'm interested in pursuing tertiary education following this. I'd like to take economics and/or computer science. Other programs I'm considering are math and physics. There's no philosophy program at my local university, although I would have liked the opportunity to take it.

Now I'm starting to feel my youth fall away from me. More than feeling like a failure, I'm just lonely and wish I could be a parent right now. I don't have anyone whom I can be close to and intimate with. I really don't muse on wasted potential, even though it's a big part of my life story. I'm "future-oriented" at the moment but still wish I were dead sometimes; I can't recall a day where I didn't have a floating thought of suicide. But as long as there's "hope," whatever that means, there's something to hold onto for me.

I've had a few suicide attempts in my time, but I don't think any of them came down to wasted potential exactly. I've never considered it a duty to work or study or contribute. In my mind at various times those things have all been mostly stupid. School was awful and its purpose was to prepare me for work, which is also awful. I definitely thought I deserved something better than what was on the table in all of that at the early ages of 4-6. I still struggle with feelings like this, albeit in a more mature form. idk.

 

[violetskies]

I was always told that I had a bright future ahead of me, but I've become a disappointment in every aspect of my life. My brother is incredibly successful so I can never amount to anything of value in my parents' eyes even if I tried. Maybe I could have had a good life if I tired harder, but I definitely wasted any potential that I had

 

[lizzywizzy09]

Looking back, I was dealt a bad hand but also had the potential to turn things around and live a wonderful life had I made different choices. Now I'm haunted by the thoughts of what my life could have been and am getting further and further away from that ideal as I get older and things get worse. It's truly a one step forward five steps back situation for me. And I've felt this way for two decades now. Enough is enough.

 

[sserafim]

I was always told that I had a bright future ahead of me, but I've become a disappointment in every aspect of my life. My brother is incredibly successful so I can never amount to anything of value in my parents' eyes even if I tried. Maybe I could have had a good life if I tired harder, but I definitely wasted any potential that I had

I was also always told that I had a bright future ahead of me, but I never wanted a future anyways. I never saw one for myself. My sister is more successful than me (she's at an Ivy right now and is pre-law), and my parents compare me to her even though I'm the older one. They say that my sister is "doing what she's supposed to" and they use this to put me down for being a NEET. They say that they're nice to me for allowing me to NEET after college and that they wouldn't let my sister do the same. If she did, she'd be kicked out. They expect my sister to go to law school and be a lawyer. It's honestly annoying to see her outshine me though