Do you feel hate/resentment towards your parents?

[Anxious_Panda]

My sperm donor, (he doesn't deserve th title father) has been in and out of my life since I was 6 years old. Would be great for 3 months or so, and then would disappear for years at a time. I fell for it over and over again until I was 17 and was hospitalized for depression and such, and he couldn't have cared less. I took control and haven't spoke to him in 6 or 7 years and have no plans for reconciliation.
As for my mother, her bipolar disorder ruined my childhood. I have PTSD triggered by loud voices, throwing things, ECT and I blame her for that. But I will say, since she moved cross country and I don't have to see or talk to her on a daily basis, we've never gotten along better.

 

[Zzzzz]

Definitely have some resentment yes. I would have never known a life of suffering, and depression if my parents didn't make me. Not to mention my single parent is an extremely difficult person to deal with emotionally. There is a lot of drama in our house. It's an extremely disappointing life at best and I sincerely wish my parents had aborted me.

 

[vonvonwantpeace]

No i love my parents, My father died when i was 4 my mother died when i was 8. I hated GOD (if there is)! he took my parents and left me alone suffering in this shitty world.

 

[No_more]

My parents knew that there were evil people in the world and that all sorts of horrible things can happen and still they brought me on to it. What is wrong with them? It's unbelievably cruel.

 

[k75]

No, I have great parents and we have a good relationship. They don't deserve what I'm about to do to them.

 

[sadsadinfp]

Hate, definitely not, but resentment, yes. My mom didn't protect me from the kid who abused me, she told me I needed to "toughen up" instead. She was cold when I craved affection, she took out her frustration at her poor marriage with my dad on me and my siblings, she was sarcastic and teased me when I needed her to be kind and understanding, she broke her promises and placed conditions on everything, whenever I did well at something and craved her approval, I always got some condescending remark about how next time she knew I wouldn't do as well, or that it was nice that I was FINALLY doing my homework or practicing or whatever.

My dad, I'm starting to appreciate and understand a little better now, but we didn't have much of a relationship when I was growing up. My mom moulded me, he was always working overtime to try and pay the bills, and he had some anger issues that made me really afraid of him. He's fixed these things now and really tried to help me recently, but there's still this barrier I can't bring myself to cross.

And every time I disappoint them I just want to die. I just wanted their approval when I was little, and when I realized or decided that I could never get it, I started sabotaging my own life, on one hand to get back at them, and on the other to lower their expectations so much that my miserable failures would become the norm.

 

[iiii5555]

No. I don't think i hate people, in general. There's always more than one side to an story, maybe the people that you hate aren't all-bad (afteral, that would be infantile to believe).

 

[Wayfaerer]

Yes. Lots.

 

[woxihuanni]

It is generations of abuse, really.

Mother had me to have something to live for, instead of getting a divorce. Apparently did not understand that this is the greatest act of evil. Then projected hatred of father on me when I was a toddler. Grew up feeling like I did not deserve to exist, that I was loathsome through and through. Also had to be her shoulder to cry on when I should have been playing with toys.

Once my life was sufficiently fucked and I got out of their reach, came the love pouring in. And too much of it. She still lives for me. I know my death will be her death in one way or another.

I cannot hate them as such, they were ignorant and foolish and sick. I just think life is a misery when you both cannot create a family of your own, and your birth family still leans on you completely for their emotional needs. What the fuck did I deserve to have both isolation and suffocation?

Covering some way to leave guilt behind when I catch the bus, but it is deeply ingrained.

 

[sad_frog]

They hurt me. I just had a nightmare about them all laughing at me because they replaced me and I was going to be locked away forever.