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DiscussionDo you feel guilty posting here?
Thread starterSuidice
Start date
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I don't feel guilty about posting here. I post my vents here to attempt to relieve stress and to keep a physical track of what happens to me. I have no reason to feel guilty about this.
If I end up going through with CTB, noone posting here should feel any kind of guilt.
If someone has to feel guilt it's the people that pushed me to come here in the first place. I'm here on my own will and precisely because I want to CTB.
I have a world of gratitude for people who post here, it provides me freedom of speech, actual support (unlike the healthcare system that played a huge role in making me want to CTB), methods to reduce my suffering and avoid ending up like a vegetable.
No, because I'm not knowledgable enough to provide method information much and because that information is here already- plus, elsewhere on the internet. Plus, in general- members here don't encourage suicide. They may not actively discourage it if someone's mind is made up but- I think we respect the right to choose here and I believe that is our right.
Really though- we can all choose how to interact on the forum. We can stay away from threads that are focussed on the practicalities of a method. We can spend more time in off topic etc. The site isn't only about informing people about methods, it provides distraction and community for many of us- if we feel like we need to stay living for now.
I don't feel guilty about posting here, since I know this is a place where I can discuss about various topics that are too taboo in mainstream circles or outside in the world. I also enjoy the community here, being able to discuss these taboo topics without censorship or having platitudes and toxic positivity shoved into my face.
I feel guilty about some users, especially about this one woman who killed herself. But that's mainly because her brother came here to confirm her death and came back to give updates the following two anniversaries of her death as well as because I interacted with her directly. So having interacted with her directly and seeing her brother post about how devastating her death was left me with some guilty feelings. I was actually talking to her before she killed herself and as such began to wonder if I could have done something else other than what I did that would have led to a different outcome.
No. I've been depressed my whole life and I continue to fail to change or get better. No one in my life wants to hear about how I hate myself and want to die, so it's nice to be able to come here and talk about it if I feel the need to do so.
No. I'd never recommend suicide to anybody as I do believe that life is precious generally, but I believe euthanasia should be more accessible to people who find life chronically unbearable. As this is not truly the case, the only way to gather information about a possible way out is through forums like this. Also, you can find support and understanding.
No. On the contrary, this is one of the greatest places I've ever been on the internet. Nobody gets me quite like you people do. Maybe it sounds a little silly to say, but I don't fit in among people who aren't severely disturbed. And this site's userbase is definitely that, for better or for worse. I think being so isolated only makes it feel even better when you find likeminded individuals.
It's a conflicting feeling. Especially since we have "multiple opinions" due to having DID. So we sort of made some general rules for ourselves:
We cannot comment on people's methods unless it is to tell them if it won't work/will be painful.
We cannot reply to active goodbye threads except to say things like "whatever you choose, we hope you find peace"
We cannot try to publicly workshop new methods on here.
A few more too. We have major issues with Moral OCD and guilt, so if we thought we caused someone to CTB in a potentially dangerous and/or regrettable way, it would probably drive us to CTB too. These are sort of... safety boundaries.
I like this forum, it brings me comfort and understanding, but i also feel really guilty posting here since my discussions can be used by other people to help them commit suicide. Do you feel the same way?
Yesss I do feel that. I've started being more active here recently. It feels nice like a likeminded community which is nice, no one really seems to get me. I do feel guilty though at the thought that something I may say is the last straw in someone and I made them change their mind in some way and they just decide like oh she's right fuck it and then end it.
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