Venting Do you feel envy?

[mathieu]

Yes, I'm envious of most people. Not being in constant depression and anxiety. Having things to look forward to. Being able to do so many things that I'm not.

 

[dioxide]

Omg yes. I had a friend who literally had everything (smart, attractive, loving family, lots of friends, funny, talented, incredibly confident,...) and I envied her so much and always compared myself to her.

Who do you envy?

I envy people living in good health and mental serenity with their family in huge countryhouse with peace, silence and nature around.

Bcause i know i will never have such serenity.

 

[my heart hurts]

I think I used to until I learned everyone else feels like shit too. Now I only envy dead people

 

[dioxide]

Envious... more sad that i could have been what they were if I had just my shit together sooner, not screwed around with men, and had stayed where I was instead of sabotaging everything I was finally building.

also confused as to why I am the way I am, why I've been so ridiculous and delusional and living in a reality separate from the people around me that are healthy
why i behave like a desperate 12 year old child or emo goth
And how I would take it all back if I could just go back in time to before I quit my awesome job and home.
now god knows what's going to become of me.

You may be affected by a neurodiversity, like i am, and not being knowledge of it because never received a diagnosis, but there are online tests or apps to get neurodiversity score.

Self sabotage and social disfunction, are mostly symptoms.

 

[porfin1234]

You may be affected by a neurodiversity, like i am, and not being knowledge of it because never received a diagnosis, but there are online tests or apps to get neurodiversity score.

Self sabotage and social disfunction, are mostly symptoms.

whats a neurodiversity?
I've sincerely become afraid of myself after past actions / stories created in my head that now I realize were so far from reality.

 

[dioxide]

whats a neurodiversity?
I've sincerely become afraid of myself after past actions / stories created in my head that now I realize were so far from reality.

Autism and other neurosiversity, acts like a spectrum.. not like a on-off switch, where someone who have it, is just being sit on a chair all time, hitting his head on a wall.

Someone may be affected by autism at 5%..10%.. just act, talk, interact and feel mostly "normal", but having the life spoiled by autodestruction and social relationship failure. Mostly due to "what's wrong with me? I feel bad, so i deserve autosabotage...stay away, leave me alone, i dont want to hear you" and just wanting to live into a custom universe.

 

[Meena]

Had to look dictionary to understand what's envy (what is it and do I feel it?)

Then it hit me - "do you feel envy", "envy is an emotion which" :) No, too empty too feel. Good for them running people, I don't care.

Well said

 

[passenger27]

I'm envious not of people themselves, but their ability to function "normally" (yeah, I hear my psychiatrist asking "what's normal?" but to me that's just a stock question they ask). I've known people who've been through hell but they're able to function "normally" There's that word again) somehow. My oldest sister for instance. She was molested by my father at a young age but now she works as a nurse in an operating room. I'm very proud of her but I have to admit there is a spark of envy. She went through all that and here I am on disability for bipolar among other things, and I didn't go through any of that directly. I know everybody's different but that doesn't change how lame I feel about being envious, not just of her, but "normal" (ugh) people in general.

 

[AlexM]

Yes. When I hear - money doesn't matter... Pfff, this so stupid. Money could solve the most of all problems the most of all people on the site. Who I envy else? Myself when everything went well.

 

[Mark Edward]

I used to feel envy when I was young, but as I got older and found out what life was really like for everyone, I rarely feel it now.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I also envy people that got N. I have SN.

 

[Thereisnothing]

Personally I dont feel envy nor jealousy when others have alot more going for them than I do. For me it wouldn't be helpful as I know wouldn't change anything and despite life being incredibly hard I always try and just be greatful for what I do have, even if its not much and every second is difficult.

 

[Chlo]

Do you sometime feel envious looking for people around you?

People happy, in good physical condition, athletic, jumping and doing weights like on the fitness breakfast morning tv show?

People wealthy, driving huge and powerful cars, living in huge beautiful house in wonderful places?

People living their lifes like everyday party, like MTV clips?

People that think their biggest problem is choosing the color of the next sofa' or the size of the next tv?

People that live everyday with their perfect march, going in vacation with her/him, living their life like a love lunapark?

I sometimes envy those with close friends, happy partnership/families, confidence, happiness, yeah. It's a gross feeling.

 

[Let'sgetoutofHERE]

I used to feel envy when I was young, but as I got older and found out what life was really like for everyone, I rarely feel it now.

This is a good Point. It reminds me of this quote: "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always."

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I envy people that have a social life, can make social connections and are so upbeat and aren't drained by people. This is not a life to live. I always felt like an outsider since age 14. I'm never going to be carefree and social again I'm at my peaks end why drag out a humiliating existence of misery and loneliness because of the fear of death?

 

[Simba]

yes im jealous of people who look like they have it all.. friends.. bf/gf.. something that i want yet it doesnt always work well for me because of my autism.. im also jealous of others who are disabled yet are able to do just fine in life ,again ,friends ,gf bf etc.. it makes me sad like im ouside the line.. like theres people who arent normal and im like more out of the abnormal.. like even with people who are considered abnormal i dont really fit..

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

not really. its my time now and good with that.

 

[FuneralCry]

I am only envious of those who have died as they are at peace and they are free from suffering. I am not envious of anyone elses lives, as I know that nothing would ever make me want to live.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

All the time, sometimes I even feel envious for people worse off than me because my feelings of frustration and anguish probably aren't justified and if those people or really anyone had my life they could probably make it out better than I could.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Not so much anymore. I kinda resigned that my current lack of anything good going on for me is beyond my control

 

[LonelyBrazilian]

Envy is one of the reasons I want to ctb. I constantly keep comparing myself to people my own age and see that I haven't accomplished/experienced anything.

 

[TheHatedOne]

I do feel envy on a daily basis tbh... I really can't help it but when you know that everyone else around you has it better in pretty much everything, you know something's up.

 

[art]

I envy the one I used to be before i suffered trauma. I envy/admire resilient peple who finally overcome their PTSD.

 

[Yogobro298]

Envy is one of the reasons I want to ctb. I constantly keep comparing myself to people my own age and see that I haven't accomplished/experienced anything.

Same here. Bad feeling. My brother is 10x successful than me and it's all because he sold drugs.

 

[Hangman]

I consider myself a loser compared to a lot of people. I especially envy people who live fulfilling, social, active lives and who are content and happy with themselves.

My main challenge is just to function on basic level, to withstand social situations.

 

[Beeper]

Envy : the feeling of wanting to have what someone else has.

I do feel envy quite often, mostly related to neurotypical people.

All of the main challenges in my life stem from mental illness. It's a brutal existence. There is no cure. Managing symptoms with medication is almost futile.

 

[art]

You may be affected by a neurodiversity, like i am, and not being knowledge of it because never received a diagnosis, but there are online tests or apps to get neurodiversity score.

Is there any link of test @dioxide

 

[Shadowplay]

I was very envious as a child, but not really no. I think I don't really care anymore to be honest; I have no hope so I have nothing to envy others about.

 

[auror.]

I may just not be self aware enough but I don't think that I envy people. I don't see their day to day lives and I don't know their past or future, so why should I envy them?

I've often had people express that they were envious of me. The thought of someone feeling that way absolutely disgusts me but I don't blame them because we're shallow beings. But this showed me that envying others is kinda stupid. And we all end up the same anyway.

 

[motel rooms]

I've come to the conclusion that a couple of members are jealous of me, which is equal parts hilarious & disturbing. Have you read my life story, you weirdos?

Do I feel envy? Yes, I'm Italian.