• Hey Guest,

    If you would still like to donate, you still can. We have more than enough funds to cover operating expenses for quite a while, so don't worry about donating if you aren't able. If you want to donate something other than what is listed, you can contact RainAndSadness.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

XSmas

XSmas

天国
Aug 15, 2023
12
Just like what the title said.

I only have a few "friends". Whenever my "friends" made an achievement in life or get ahead of me, i always feel envious, angry, and sometimes even depressed because i feel like I'm being left in the dust. Of course when they told me about it, I always congratulate them and said I'm happy for them. But that's just a lie. I only said it so my "friends" don't hate me. In reality, i want them to fail just like me.

I always thought that this kind of mentality is wrong. I shouldn't think of my "friends" like that. But I don't know how to change the way I think. I hate myself for not being able to change.

I want to know your opinion on this. Do you think it's normal to think like I do? Am I just a loser? Am I being a good friend? Am i just a fake friend? Do I deserve a friend?
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Brokensaddle, dragonofenvy, Hahem and 13 others
crystal_meth97

crystal_meth97

Nie mam zamiaru się poddać
May 1, 2024
155
No, I don't. I actually rejoice with them and genuinely feel good and celebrate their accomplishments. Their joy and excitement are also mine, just like their struggles are. However, I only have true friends in my life right now, people who really deserve the best and work for what they come to achieve. I got rid of toxic people 4 years ago, I can't deal with that anymore. Still, what you're feeling is completely valid and natural, I don't see anything wrong with that. I sometimes find myself feeling envious about things I'm insecure about, but I always remind myself that it's a me issue. These feelings are completely okay, no need to feel like a bad person for experiencing them because they don't make you a bad person. For me, their achievements often motivate me to work on myself or work, if it's job-related, more so I can also feel the sense of accomplishment they experience. So there is nothing wrong with what you feel, but maybe try to shift your perspective when you feel like that and see things in a different light. Allow yourself to feel envy and anger, but then use these intense emotions for motivation. Just my idea.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: HereTomorrow, vak, XSmas and 1 other person
divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Visionary
Jan 1, 2024
2,376
Im a bitter soul I feel envious and angry but also joy for them
 
  • Like
Reactions: Blue Elephant, cowboypants, LifeIsBS and 2 others
thealteredmind

thealteredmind

Experienced
Apr 2, 2024
231
healthy envious yes. angry but not at them, at my life and me. sad too.

but I LOVE that they are making progress. one of my friends had always had problems dating girls... now he's started doing it and whenever I see him I tease him with "sooo how many girls this week?" "MAN STOP THATS TOO MANY WOMEN STOP YOUR DICK IS GOING FALL OFF"
 
  • Like
  • Yay!
Reactions: lnlybnny and XSmas
XSmas

XSmas

天国
Aug 15, 2023
12
I actually rejoice with them and genuinely feel good and celebrate their accomplishments. Their joy and excitement are also mine, just like their struggles are.
Okay. Now I envy you as well man haha.
Allow yourself to feel envy and anger, but then use these intense emotions for motivation.
I Already tried it, but my depression always come instead of motivation. Maybe I'm just a loser after all haha.
 
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
3,619
Friends? I don't have any. Even if I did, I wouldn't envy them as their achievements are most likely normie NPC things. The fact that they can wage slave in a job that they want to wage slave in isn't an achievement for me to envy. Neither is them finding their one true love or whatever other achievements that they have. I only really envy those who are dead as they no longer have to suffer
 
  • Like
Reactions: lnlybnny, thebelljarrr, sserafim and 4 others
YandereMikuMistress

YandereMikuMistress

you say falling victim to myself is weak, so be it
Apr 26, 2023
256
I seem to get that feeling quite well, that's also probably why I only have my brother and partner as "friends" though I hate that word, I don't understand it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: XSmas
F

F@#$

Freedom seeker
Nov 8, 2023
671
Not as much as when I see stories of people getting killed in an accident or shooting or whatever. I would gladly take their place.
 
  • Like
Reactions: thebelljarrr, Otaku, Vicolo cieco and 1 other person
D1byRam3n

D1byRam3n

Trying to escape from cruel reality
Nov 14, 2023
73
For me Idk, and in my opinion that's normal to be like that, I guess?
 
  • Like
Reactions: XSmas
3/4Dead

3/4Dead

Peace, Love, Empathy
Feb 27, 2024
210
Sometimes yeah. I've been consciously reminding myself to be impressed and not jealous when people achieve things and i think its really helping with this, honestly.
 
  • Like
Reactions: XSmas
XSmas

XSmas

天国
Aug 15, 2023
12
Friends? I don't have any.
To be honest, I'm not so sure myself if my friends are my real friends. Sometimes i feel like I'm just being a fake friends to them.

though I hate that word, I don't understand it.
Yea, as I grow up, the more I understand that the word "friends" have very broad meaning and everyone's understanding of it is very different for each person.
that's normal to be like that
Thanks, this part somewhat reassured me.
 
abchia

abchia

Student
Aug 28, 2023
123
I'm truly happy for them because Ive seen their struggles and they deserve the best. but at the same time jealous especially if it's something that makes them visibly happy, I start thinking to myself why can't I have that, why can't that be me.

After seeing this happen multiple of times i kind of just accepted that they'll have all the nicer things in life
 
  • Like
Reactions: XSmas
natthebrat

natthebrat

only help i want is with ctb
Jul 9, 2023
155
Yes and no. I'll often want what they have, to the point where it'll affect my attitude around/towards them. That said, if I act on that jealousy, that isn't really justified as (unless they did something unethical or against their values to achieve it) it isn't their fault that I can't have it.

For instance, I'm trans and I'll often feel jealous when I hear about other trans girls who got to transition younger than I did. While I will get sad and angry hearing about them, I try to remember that the ones to blame are nature (for making me be born at all and as the wrong sex) and society (for being transphobic), not the other person.
 
  • Like
Reactions: XSmas
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,280
No because achievements don't matter.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Blue Elephant, ijustwishtodie and thebelljarrr
H

Hotsackage

Elementalist
Mar 11, 2019
898
No, I'm happy, but when tell me how hard they work, and start giving me life advice, they can go do one
 
ADBoy777

ADBoy777

Student
May 16, 2024
128
I'm actually happy for them if they find joy and happiness in their achievements
 
L

lizzywizzy09

Specialist
May 11, 2024
393
Good for them but I'm envious of just regular people now, whether they'd be considered successful or not.
 
AnxietyHangover

AnxietyHangover

Global Moderator
Aug 20, 2022
243
I have no IRL friends so there's no jealousy, but I'm looking at my former uni colleagues and see the nice well paid jobs they've got while I'm wasting away at this shit underpaid job where I don't use even 1% of my capabilities... It's depressing, it really is.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: lnlybnny, Goku Black and Hotsackage
qw3rty259

qw3rty259

CTB by a ticket soon
Jun 19, 2023
195
That's why I rejected almost all of them. At the end of the day, the life is a competition, no Matt how you look at it, i don't care about people say you shouldn't compare yourself to others and stuff. It's impossible. If you're a loser - you lose, while people around you go places, achieve something. You hear about it from them and if your situation is constantly worse, you can't help but feel frustrated about it. So if you can't keep up with the people around you, the only way for you to be somewhat happy and actually to not compare yourself to others is to isolate yourself and don't hear about your friends' advances.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Decided98, lnlybnny, XSmas and 3 others
ionlyexist

ionlyexist

cut off my circulation
Jun 19, 2024
2
Ive ended up isolating myself from all of my past 'friends' because of this Lol
 
  • Like
  • Aww..
Reactions: D1byRam3n and XSmas
Alltheywanted

Alltheywanted

I'll just lay here and die
Mar 6, 2023
331
It REALLY depends on my day, but I don't see anything wrong with experiencing so-called "bad emotions" like anger. As long as you won't decide on changing your entire mindset to stoic, which is pretty damn hard, you'll end up feeling jealous and angry at your friends' achievements.
Just remember, you DON'T control what emotions you feel, but you decide on what to do with/about them.
much love and gl <3
 
  • Like
Reactions: XSmas
maidens

maidens

" living like this forever is just fine! "
Aug 27, 2023
120
of course, I've never accomplished even one thing and I have no real talents so I can't help getting upset and envious. I never say this to their face though, I do the same as you and congratulate them
 
  • Like
Reactions: XSmas
baller

baller

"such is life"
Apr 30, 2024
34
i'm usually happy for them and want the best but I do get upset, not at them, but myself. But imo, I know thats on me and i don't blame them for my shit behaviour
 
Agon321

Agon321

I use google translate
Aug 21, 2023
1,186
I currently have no friends because I lost them all. Mental illness forced me into isolationism, so I began to distance myself from everyone around me.

Honestly, I wish all the best to my friends from the past.
I still kind of like them.
I hope their lives will be good.

Of course, sometimes I feel bad when I see different people developing and I'm the only one standing still.
But I've already made up my mind about CTB.
When you know that you are heading towards death, you gain some distance from such matters.

My life is over, so I hope that at least the people I spent my childhood with will be better people than me (it's not difficult).

I'm sorry that life turned out this way and I am who I am, but fuck it.
Jealousy is no longer a feeling that accompanies me in such matters.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: XSmas
T

TheLastBoyOnEarth

Member
Jun 7, 2024
92
I feel insecure as I'm in my 30s and I can't advance my life because of my chronic pain condition, so I see everyone have these interesting lives and i don't.
 
  • Like
Reactions: XSmas
HeartSayako

HeartSayako

Jvnko
Oct 17, 2023
14
Yeah, and it's like they're all moving up in life and I'm still in the same deep pit of shit. I don't like to think like that but there's nothing to do.
 
  • Like
Reactions: D1byRam3n and XSmas
dragonofenvy

dragonofenvy

Mage
Oct 8, 2023
550
It's in my name. I suppose it makes me feel a little better if they try and fail at something because I've spent my whole life trying and failing, and rather than getting any kind of support I'd just get hit the "you need to try harder" line. For the people I know whose lives suck, then I feel bad for them if something bad happens but happy if something good happens. I guess I just feel schadenfreude for happy and successful people I know getting knocked down a peg since it brings them closer to me. I will never be successful, nor will I ever remember what being happy feels like, so when someone who has those two things gets beaten down a bit it makes me feel better for a bit.
 
L

lnlybnny

Specialist
Jan 25, 2024
308
Well I don't have any "friends" but I see people who went to school with me and they're all thriving and succeeding and I feel terrible. But I don't envy them as I wouldn't trade my personality for theirs, to me they're just basic normies, having children etc and I don't want that. The part that gets to me is that they launched into adulthood successfully and I resent that yes, because it makes me wonder what would've happened if I explored my potential/abilities (if I ever had any). The people around me probably compare myself to them as well. I don't like to think about this.
 
D

dolemitedrums

Experienced
Jun 12, 2024
280
No, I was always happy for my friends' achievements and I think they were happy for mine as well.
 
Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,687
Just like what the title said.

I only have a few "friends". Whenever my "friends" made an achievement in life or get ahead of me, i always feel envious, angry, and sometimes even depressed because i feel like I'm being left in the dust. Of course when they told me about it, I always congratulate them and said I'm happy for them. But that's just a lie. I only said it so my "friends" don't hate me. In reality, i want them to fail just like me.

I always thought that this kind of mentality is wrong. I shouldn't think of my "friends" like that. But I don't know how to change the way I think. I hate myself for not being able to change.

I want to know your opinion on this. Do you think it's normal to think like I do? Am I just a loser? Am I being a good friend? Am i just a fake friend? Do I deserve a friend?
No, I don't. Not now, and in the past not usually. But there were a few occasions in the past when I did. I think it's quite a common experience. Don't worry too much about it. But try not to do it all the time.
 

Similar threads

Cress
Replies
33
Views
531
Suicide Discussion
MyTimeIsUp
M
bludgeoned
Replies
4
Views
157
Recovery
bludgeoned
bludgeoned
1043169
Replies
1
Views
86
Suicide Discussion
Traveller12724
T
Yaka
Replies
6
Views
204
Suicide Discussion
Yaka
Yaka