Discussion Do you feel bad about being on this site?

[Dead beat dad]

It doesn't matter how. Maybe you feel like you ended up here due to your own shortcomings, or you feel bad about giving advice, or maybe just plain bad.
I honestly don't know how to feel about SS as a whole. This community is extremely nice and supportive, and I definitely don't regret joining. But at the same time, something just feels off about being here. I can't tell if this is just a lack of sleep getting to me or some sort of crisis.

I feel bad about just about everything anyway, the way I see it, for me being here in that context is neither here nor there.
Despite the human tragedy that has brought so many here, there is also love in abundance.
This site is the opposite of the greatest love of all... We cannot love ourselves, but we can each other.
Love and respect to you brother.
DBD

 

[thisismyusername]

I don't feel bad getting on this site, but I was scared to join the community when my husband found me reading forum posts six months ago. I feel like I have to hide my thoughts away from him to protect him, but this site made it pretty obvious what I was thinking about at that time. He's been really supportive since and understands what the website is and its message to people like you and me. Its a wonderful place of information, good people, and around the clock positivity usually. Obviously, I could see how this site only makes some people feel worse, get worse, but the site gives proper warning and is full of honesty.

 

[muffin222]

No, I don't feel bad. I credit this site with saving me from botched attempts that would have made my life 1000x worse, as well as offering me a space to unload my feelings.

The only issue lies in my own sensitivity as a person; I sometimes need to disappear from the site for short periods of time or limit the amount of time I spend on here during the day because I often feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of suffering expressed on here, even though I'm in the same boat. I hate that people hurt so much

 

[Spitfire]

I do not feel bad about coming here to SS. No negative feelings about it at all for me. Something is definitely off.. it is all me and not to do with this place like that though.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I don't feel particularly bad being here. However, I do feel bad when someone I've gotten to know CTB's.

 

[Quax]

This site is kind of last resort to me... here I don't have to wear the mask I usually have to.... here I'm not alone and that's great.

 

[Meditation guide]

The only sad thing is that the family is always changing, members come and go, and the only family where there is a consistent amount of deaths.

I hate when they die. I am glad they are getting what they want. But I always feel so ... like crying. I hadn't cried in over ten years or more until I came here.

 

[Ghost2211]

I don't feel bad being here. Everyone here is awesome, and this is the only place I've felt like I belong. kinda funny but not surprising.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I've never really felt bad about the fact I'm here at least. Sometimes I have felt bad because I'm worried I said something insensitive or whatever but then there are also sometimes where I don't. I'm someone with virtually no self control though. If something feels actually bad enough for me I give it up whether I should or not so the fact I'm still here must mean there's some value to me from it...

 

[Superdeterminist]

Definitely not. I used to feel some guilt for being suicidal, but now I see it as more than justified, given all the suffering in the world.

 

[Weary Soul]

Yes and no.

No, I do not feel bad about being here because I have finally found so many people that understand.

Yes I feel bad about here, because I worry about those who are young (or for that matter any age) and make an impulsive decision to end their lives based on things that over time will likely change.

I have been lurking for about 3 years, and just started to post because my time is near.

The one thing I do not want is for someone to read my words and see them as encouragement. I only post because I understand.

<3

 

[rabbithole]

Yes, to be honest. I worry so much about condoning suicide in certain circumstances. I worry so much someone young is here going through a short rough patch that will end and they're deciding to end it all because of that and I dont want to be a part of a site that in any way encourages that. But other people's situations aren't ephemeral and then I entirely understand their need for peace. Either way this site is a very nice support group for people going through rough times, regardless of the name of the site.

Yes and no.

No, I do not feel bad about being here because I have finally found so many people that understand.

Yes I feel bad about here, because I worry about those who are young (or for that matter any age) and make an impulsive decision to end their lives based on things that over time will likely change.

I have been lurking for about 3 years, and just started to post because my time is near.

The one thing I do not want is for someone to read my words and see them as encouragement. I only post because I understand.

<3

Exactly. I didn't see your post before writing mine which is pretty much the same sentiment.

 

[MBY85]

No. I feel understanding and love here.
At first I didn't know if I belonged here because even I wish deeply to ctb I can't do it because my disability and dependence. But in so many ways I fell less alone in here. So thank you all

 

[Wraith]

Not even in the slightest. The pro-life status quo had me feeling alienated. Here, being with like-minded individuals, is refreshing. I, however, can see how one might feel "bad" about being here due to being raised in a grossly pro-life society. Accepting being here can seem strange at first, but wanting to avoid and end suffering is just natural. If society focused more on providing actual help, quite a few of us wouldn't want to be here.

 

[whywere]

NO..NO and NO. I LOVE this site and all of my global family members. All of us understand, love, care and have empathy for each other. Without my family here I have nothing. Love to all!!! Walter

 

[YukiFox]

The only reason that I love this forum that I can discuss openly death and suicide without feel judged or automatically put at suicidal watch (I don't talk a single word of my suicidal ideations with my current therapist, by the way). My last record of "abstinence" to avoid suicidal thoughts in this forum was 4 months, but seriously, I don't judge anyone who uses this forum for any reason, since I don't want to be judged as well. I dream about a society who accepts suicide (18 or older, surely) of any person as a rightful way to die, without that stupid victim shaming or damnation, or any statements like "you're too young to die", etc, No, I don't want suicide booths, only more comprehensive and solidarity with the pain of the others.

 

[elfgyoza]

I do feel bad, but only because it makes me wonder how so many of us have suffered enough for this to become normal.

SS is the only place I can talk freely about suicidal thoughts and intent, without fearing any consequences. Yeah the community changes every so often, people come and go, but we all understand why we're here. That understanding and compassion is all we need sometimes

 

[violetsaturn]

I feel bad because I'm still grasping to anything I can use as hope + can't ctb because of me being a coward. I feel like I don't deserve a spot on this site. But It's the only place I feel safe lately.
No one texts me. No one likes my posts. No one acknowledges me irl. My parents mock me and when I open my mouth it's their cue to pick up their own conversation. I know no one actually cares about me on this site but it feels so god damn nice to actually be responded to. Genuinely responded to. Genuinely listened to. People read my words. People are at least somewhat aware I exist. No one calls me creepy because I don't talk. People don't tell me to speak up here. There's no speaking no noise. Just reading and people seeing my thoughts.
It feels so good.

Exactly! I've never felt more comfortable in a social site than I do here. No one is forcing you to participate and no one is going to bulldoze over anything you said - you can just simply exist and attain support you wouldn't get anywhere else. With family and friends...you just can't be completely honest about how you are feeling and what you are thinking. But here, you absolutely can. It's nice to feel like you belong.

 

[greebo6]

I feel sad for all of us and wish we could all be happy but I like being here and I like the people on here. Its an amazing little community really.

 

[Antigonish]

No, because we're somewhat a virtual community. Being here doesn't mean you're committed to anything. Being here doesn't mean you have to commit.

 

[Anon123]

Nope. Not at all to be honest.

 

[Nimbus]

I'm very glad this site exists and don't feel bad at all about being a part of it. It's refreshing to be able to discuss thoughts and feelings and read how others think/feel without the discussion having a "regulator" of sorts, or an overseer that has to keep things "positive" or "productive." Sometimes it's just good to know that there are other people who feel the same or are going through the same. Even if people talk about ctb, I believe the vast majority will not follow through. Often times it's a huge relief to simply know an option EXISTS.

 

[W’ren]

I'm glad i have this site to turn to. Without it i'd still be lost and completely alone. Now i don't feel as alone in my troubles- and i have somewhere that i can talk openly about my desire to ctb and about my troubles...
No one around me has a clue, and i feel i have to pretend always and walk on eggshells even around my dearest friend and my bf...
Here i can shed that disguise and even though i don't really know anyone, i feel like i'm welcome. I don't feel welcome anywhere else on this planet- so thanks SS for providing this meeting ground for like minds...

 

[Panna]

No, I enjoy being around fellow people who have somewhat similar thoughts to me. In any case it is far better than being around deluded positive people who shout religion to counter depression or feeling isolated because you can't say how you really feel without fear of being commited or labeled.

 

[stupid little girl]

Yes I do, which is why I try not to get on here as much as possible. When I'm feeling suicidal I'm glad I joined, but when I want to live I'm not. I have had no problems with people on this site and everyone has been nice. But I can't say I joined to, "let my feelings out" or, "talk to people who feel the way I do." If I wanted to go that I'd go see a therapist. Rather I wanted information on how to end my life and I have a horrible habit of triggering myself on purpose. I want to feel bad. That's why I joined and sometimes I wish I hadn't. It's easy to just say delete my account and stop coming onto the site, but I can always make another and I just can't stop wanting to feel bad. Also, when it's finally time to ctb I want good information on how to do it. It's like a double edged sword.

 

[spathiphyllum]

I don't.

Feels good to be able to see people who actually gets it and to have an outlet in which I can talk about my feelings or read about similarly experiences other people have without being afraid of other peoples judgement you might see IRL.

It has a peaceful and relieving feeling to it .

 

[BehindTheWall]

Absolutely not. I don't come here everyday now and sometimes I literally forget that this site exists but I always end up coming back because deep down in my soul I need this place.

 

[Hermann]

No, although I would never mention this website to anyone. Nobody needs to know I have SI. I also don't feel bad anymore about having SI. If things had been different in my early life, I wouldn't have these thoughts to begin with. So I don't also have to feel ashamed for thinking about wanting to ctb. It is how it is.

 

[soundsofsilence]

Not at all.

For the ones that need it, like me, I think this site provides comfort, compassion and understanding.

It can give you a view into what we really are in such a way that no other site can.

 

[LastFlowers]

No.