Do you fear death?

[Live Free or Die]

I used to fear death when I was younger. I often had nightmares that death was just black darkness nothingness, yet i was still me and still had consciousness. No more visuals no more sounds. Only black for eternity and my own mind. I would wake up sweating, shaking and terrified.

However, I no longer believe this. Somewhere over time I stopped fearing death. I stopped believing that death was an end and began believing that death is only the beginning. In some ways I'm looking forward to it. I also don't fear the pain of dying, regardless of method. I feel it's a right of passage to move on, much like how my birth caused pain to my mother.

The only thing I fear now is not being in control of my life or my death.

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

Not anymore. I now want it more than anything else.

 

[Mukey]

what if we die and a billion years pass and we are reborn? that would kinda suck

 

[downndone2]

I'm not afraid of death, I suppose I have some fears of just being stuck in the same nightmare or worse. But this nightmare I'm in right now is absolutely miserable.

 

[cececo]

I'm not afraid of death, just afraid of unbearable pain and still surviving only to be worse off. Though I think I'm afraid of those I care for dying before me, as selfish as that is.

I love the metaphor there, with the pain likened to that when we are born. Beautiful wording.

 

[GentleJerk]

Thank you, I enjoyed this.

 

[Kristicide]

It's not death I'm scared of. It's suffering in a painful long way that scares me. But idk - I've had some long term chronic health issues which have been excruciatingly painful. So if dying felt painful for an hour or two that's nothing compared to what I've dealt with the majority of my life.

 

[bloodfallsfirst]

Psych ward nurse told me I was a rare patient in that I was in love with death. I've actually worked as an admin gremlin at the mortuary before.

 

[D&D]

I felt much like you when I was younger. Death was something so abstract, remote and mysterious that mind did not dare dwelling on it.

As years of living increase, the fear of death decrease. I think it might be how we are programmed. Most older people say they fear death less with each passing year.

The only thing that scares me is that there does not seem to extend to CTB. As odd as it may sound it seems that not fearing death does not reduces/eliminates SI. I really hope I am wrong about that ... but, as I remained myself daily, if I really do not fear death - how come I am still alive?! Having no answer scares me. Really scares me.

 

[Jack4230]

I fear death, I wish I didn't

 

[Death is beautiful]

I am not afraid of death I am afraid that I will be found during my CTB attempt

 

[fatefulstillness]

I do not fear death, I fear people. I fear they'll be cruel enough to interrupt my suicide, claiming I've lost the ability to make decisions for myself. Being treated like a lunatic is the most painful thing I've ever experienced, especially when you know you make complete sense but they will do anything to not listen and drown your words in hatred. Hell is here, hell is people.

 

[DontGiveAshiit]

 

[Sherri]

No, come and take me you (BEEP)

 

[Eternal Oblivion]

It's easy to say "I dont fear death", while alive and well.

 

[Eternity]

No, not death. It seems beautiful and peaceful to me. But I do fear the process of dying to be honest. Afraid of my SI kicking in and the (probably) extreme panic I might experience. I'm also a bit afraid of somehow failing and ending up like a vegetable. Guess I'm just not ready yet.

 

[LeapOfFaith]

I felt much like you when I was younger. Death was something so abstract, remote and mysterious that mind did not dare dwelling on it.

As years of living increase, the fear of death decrease. I think it might be how we are programmed. Most older people say they fear death less with each passing year.

The only thing that scares me is that there does not seem to extend to CTB. As odd as it may sound it seems that not fearing death does not reduces/eliminates SI. I really hope I am wrong about that ... but, as I remained myself daily, if I really do not fear death - how come I am still alive?! Having no answer scares me. Really scares me.

I have spoken to lots of elderly people and I get the feeling that when they are 85+ they know within themselves that they've got approximately 2-10 years left to live. My own reflection is that if you know for certain that you will die in a "natural" way within a relativity short timeframe you must come to terms and accept your own death in one way or another. They can pass without the stigma of CTB, they can pass without hurting their own children or grandchildren. They choose the death that is approved by society.

Problem is when your wish to die starts at the age of 10.. or 20.. when you have 70+years of misery left to live. Then the ctb option starts to make sense at least for me..

 

[Natty]

Of course, everyone does. Outside of the larpers, that is.

 

[D&D]

I have spoken to lots of elderly people and I get the feeling that when they are 85+ they know within themselves that they've got approximately 2-10 years left to live. My own reflection is that if you know for certain that you will die in a "natural" way within a relativity short timeframe you must come to terms and accept your own death in one way or another. They can pass without the stigma of CTB, they can pass without hurting their own children or grandchildren. They choose the death that is approved by society.

Problem is when your wish to die starts at the age of 10.. or 20.. when you have 70+years of misery left to live. Then the ctb option starts to make sense at least for me..

I agree .. coming to terms with death from old age is very different from CTB irrespective of how much rational sense it may make. I loath social stigma and all the hypocrisy that comes with and from it.

 

[Live Free or Die]

It's easy to say "I dont fear death", while alive and well.

Perhaps. But I did fear it, probably well into my early 30s. The thought of the unknown after we passed haunted my dreams. When I was 33 I went through some spiritual changes that deepened my outlook on the afterlife and our time here on earth.

 

[gottago222]

i have never feared death. i have always been more obsessed with death than life but that doesnt mean i was always suicidal. just curious what is on the other side. i believe we have choices where we go after death (rest in the void, become a ghost and dwell earth/the entire universe, go to heaven or hell, reincarnate if you love life that much)

 

[...]

maybe not death itself but i grieve the life i could have had

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

I felt much like you when I was younger. Death was something so abstract, remote and mysterious that mind did not dare dwelling on it.

As years of living increase, the fear of death decrease. I think it might be how we are programmed. Most older people say they fear death less with each passing year.

The only thing that scares me is that there does not seem to extend to CTB. As odd as it may sound it seems that not fearing death does not reduces/eliminates SI. I really hope I am wrong about that ... but, as I remained myself daily, if I really do not fear death - how come I am still alive?! Having no answer scares me. Really scares me.

I feel exactly the SAME. That is what keeping me here. Everything about death,afterlife etc etc we learn after being born. And with each passing year,experiences and critical thinking and general pondering, some of these fears are either faded away in our mind or amplify to a degree of paranoia. But from my personal experience, I feel that even if ctb is completely rational and sometimes inevitable,SI are almost always there. Sometimes it feels like our life is created in such a manner and design, that no way out is without guilt and pain.

 

[willitpass]

i fear an afterlife where i am still conscious. my experiences with a date with death are a simple ceasing to exist and that is desperately what i want. of course our survival instinct programs us to fear oblivion so i have an underlying fear of that but that is a primal emotion. i no longer wish to be after i pass. i obviously don't want hell or to be a ghost trapped in the world, but i don't want heaven either. i don't want to have to live with my memories for eternity

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not fear death at all, death comforts me a lot. I believe there is nothing after this and the way I see it when I am dead nothing can hurt me. It is an end to all pain and suffering. I only fear life. There is no point fearing death as it is inevitable for all of us, the only thing that is certain for us is that we will die.

 

[Death_of_a_Phynixx]

When I was a child I use to fear death in its entirety, but only due to my ignorance of the topic. Today I don't fear death, but I fear experiencing death after I have failed at my life.

 

[YesImAware]

No. Death is nothing. Seriously. What I fear is the moment when I CTB, that's it. There isn't any more chance to make a difference. And so that is the scale that I weigh life vs. death on daily. (Along with the question of whether my life even matters, am I doing more harm than good, and the fact that I'm already a statistic.)

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I welcome death, but in life I'm overcome by the fear of what happens to others after I die. I'm living in absolute pain and I don't want to cause that pain to others. I know that will be a result of my death, even if it's what I most want.

 

[albino_elk]

its odd when alive people say that they fear not of death. i could say that im not afraid of death too but i know my si so well,im stuck. plus i cant fight my personal experiences and beliefs about afterlife no matter how hard im trying to deny them. bhhhh. i guess ill go back to selfharm cuz i dont know how to fight or accept things as they are

 

[Al Cappella]

I don't, no. It feels really weird contemplating eternal nothingness—my brain can't cope with something that huge—but there's no fear. Now the matter of pain during dying, that's another story. Or waking up to find I didn't make it…that bit is really terrifying…