do you ever wish you had cancer?

[letmegetout]

I do, because it would give me a 'way out' and even if I ctb in a way other than succumbing to the cancer, it gives me a 'reason' to ctb that's easier for family to understand than 'depression' which people just think 'but you'll get better, things will get better'
I feel it would be easier for others to deal with, more socially acceptable and minimises people blaming themselves thinking they could have done more.
Any natural death in my opinion would be better for family and friends

 

[Yavannah]

every fucking day!!!!
i know its horrible but i cant help it

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

I don't, but I wish I had a reason my family could understand - I feel as though they'd be less devastated / angry if I'd gotten injured or received some kind of terrible diagnosis before my suicide. Then it would at least be seen as a merciful act, perhaps.

But so many illnesses and cancers are awful, awful ways to go. I couldn't wish that on anyone, even myself.

 

[webawl]

Sometimes I wish I did, and have been seriously considering starting to smoke cigarettes in hopes of contracting something terminal. Ultimately though, getting cancer from cigarettes is probably too unreliable a method to die and even if I did get cancer, I likely would have spent 20+ years smoking and giving my money to tobacco corporations, all the while dealing with continual suicidal ideation. I can't see that happening.

Rationally, I recognize I'm better off without a terminal disease and should be thankful for it. If I did have cancer, my family would likely go near-bankrupt trying to pay for treatment rather than letting me die naturally. But having some sort of disease where death is inevitable would also be somewhat comforting, as I know my family would more easily recover than if I died by suicide.

 

[lukas19]

i know this sounds super weird, but do any of you wish you had a terminal illness? like cancer maybe?
I have a friend with leukemia and I can't help but be envious of her. As much as I understand that cancer isn't fun, I so so envy the fact that she knows she's leaving soon and she doesn't have to ctb either.
I also really envy the fact that she doesn't have to work or participate in capitalism. She just gets to lay in bed and not be around humans.
I would love love love the comfort of a guaranteed death right now because I'm too scared to ctb.
does anyone know of any terminal illnesses I could contract that would end me, slowly over the next few months?

God no but my friend died in his sleep last week and i was jealous, wished it was me

 

[WaitingAllMyLife]

Absolutely, positively, all day, every day.... I know everyone keeps saying it's a horrible way to go. But that's fine with me. It would be definite with no fear of failure. And best of all, I could pass without worrying about hurting those I love by committing the act myself.

 

[zhongnanhai]

when i was a kid i obsessively prayed to any higher power that would listen to give me a terminal illness. i think i liked the idea of my suffering not being up for debate. no one seemed to care i was being sexually abused so i'd envision myself with on my deathbed with cancer, surrounded by my family crying over how tragic it would all be. i think i just wanted an unavoidable, urgent truth that my parents couldn't ignore, just to see if they'd be upset i guess.

i don't want cancer anymore because my desire to die is more passive than active currently, but funnily enough i was diagnosed with some heart problems in my 20's that could kill me one day, god willing. right when i started to get my will to live back, that higher power finally decides to get off his ass and do something? okay haha

 

[MelancholyGirl]

Yes, I always wish it would happen to me instead of the people who want to live. :/

 

[JFED]

I tend to just wish I could take their cancer away and have it for them. So many people dying of it that have good lives.

 

[GasMonkey]

Nop.

 

[ice-oxen]

I saw my grandfather die from brain cancer up close, close enough that I had duties I don't think grandchildren should have to undertake, like pulling impacted feces out of his anus after his bodily control started to go. This was the man who doted on me and raised me as a toddler.

With that said, I would still choose to have terminal cancer if I were given the choice. Like letmegetout said, it would give a socially acceptable reason to CTB. If I had the ability, I would do it myself soon after the diagnosis, and if I couldn't do it myself, I would pester and plead with my caretakers until they agreed to help me do it. Either option would be less traumatizing for my family than killing myself while they still think I'm healthy and have a future.

 

[Ghostofthepast]

I do and no I would hope no one would want that

 

[letmegetout]

Don't get me wrong, cancer is horrendous I've witnessed closest family members like my dad and sister die from cancer and it can be in horrific ways but no one will ever hold the same guilt as someone ending their own life

 

[peaceindeath]

i know this sounds super weird, but do any of you wish you had a terminal illness? like cancer maybe?
I have a friend with leukemia and I can't help but be envious of her. As much as I understand that cancer isn't fun, I so so envy the fact that she knows she's leaving soon and she doesn't have to ctb either.
I also really envy the fact that she doesn't have to work or participate in capitalism. She just gets to lay in bed and not be around humans.
I would love love love the comfort of a guaranteed death right now because I'm too scared to ctb.
does anyone know of any terminal illnesses I could contract that would end me, slowly over the next few months?

Everything is relative. I used to have horrible health anxiety. Now I can't feeling no matter how painful, there is an end where all pain ceases. So cancer for people who aren't afraid of death is not as bad as suffering endlessly.

 

[dancer-in-adaydream]

No.

 

[unnormal9]

Why would I wish for more pain? For the sake of euthanasia with terminal illness? No—it should available anyways. I don't wish for debilitating pain to seek a peaceful death, because it wouldn't be.

 

[slanabhaile]

As others have said, having some sort of terminal illness would eliminate some of the fear of CTBing but I don't think I'd like to be in that much pain. I think of it almost as a physical manifestation of my mental torture.

 

[Darkover]

yes at least you die from cancer unlike a brain injury

 

[unnormal9]

yes at least you die from cancer unlike a brain injury

Lest you're forced into treatment, chemo and shit and in remission.

 

[Pengu]

i know this sounds super weird, but do any of you wish you had a terminal illness? like cancer maybe?
I have a friend with leukemia and I can't help but be envious of her. As much as I understand that cancer isn't fun, I so so envy the fact that she knows she's leaving soon and she doesn't have to ctb either.
I also really envy the fact that she doesn't have to work or participate in capitalism. She just gets to lay in bed and not be around humans.
I would love love love the comfort of a guaranteed death right now because I'm too scared to ctb.
does anyone know of any terminal illnesses I could contract that would end me, slowly over the next few months?

Hmmm I am probably gonna get hate for saying this but I think it's not right to promote a terminal illness and make it look like it's some good thing to happen to someone. I would never want to aquire a terminal illness as it would put a lot of grief and pressure on my family and tho I don't like them I would still not want to put them through something like that. Suicide is a choice but terminal illness is not.... sorry I don't wanna offend u I just think it's not right to glamorise a terminal illness like that..

 

[deathLiberation]

Interesting as i actually wish i get some sort of terminal brain tumor.
But im talking about the type of tumor that let´s you have a normal life and doctors be like "you have 6 months" and then kills you in a couple of days by turning the brain functions off.

That would give me a timeframe of literal freedom. All worries would end as i knew i was going to die anyway so f*k it!

Then i had a stomach tumor, that i did nothing about because i was like "wtv im not doing anything, lets this thing kill me when it wants", so i did zero medical treatment. It helps that i freakin hate doctors and all those big pharma shills that only care about stuffing pills and destroy people under the lie of "it´s for your own good" when they are against euthanasia. They love to see people suffer, they want people sick, not dead or healthy. I would never submit to the painful process of chimo.

Turns out i started to be more active because i was like "well i might die soon" and changed my diet because my stomach was always like it had a huge ball inside so i ate less and those things eased the pain and disconfort.
That change healed me. Tumor went away. Here i am. This existence is a sick joke.

 

[Linda]

i know this sounds super weird, but do any of you wish you had a terminal illness? like cancer maybe?
I have a friend with leukemia and I can't help but be envious of her. As much as I understand that cancer isn't fun, I so so envy the fact that she knows she's leaving soon and she doesn't have to ctb either.
I also really envy the fact that she doesn't have to work or participate in capitalism. She just gets to lay in bed and not be around humans.
I would love love love the comfort of a guaranteed death right now because I'm too scared to ctb.
does anyone know of any terminal illnesses I could contract that would end me, slowly over the next few months?

It's not very easy to "contract" cancer. You can't catch it, like flu, from someone who already has it; cancer is not usually transmissible between people. (The reason why not is biologically very interesting, and goes far back into evolutionary history, but perhaps this isn't the place to go into that ...) There are, of course, many things that cause,or tend to cause, cancer, but they usually take years or decades to do so. Most illnesses that you can contract easily are eiher curable or at least manageable. (The few that aren't, like Ebola, aren't present in western countries. You would have to go somewhere tropical, and even there outbreaks are sporadic and usually localised.) So, overall, this doesn't look like a fruitful way to proceed if you want to ctb. Sorry about that, but I can't change biology or medicine.

If you want to go, I think you'll have to adopt a different strategy.

 

[Worndown]

yes at least you die from cancer unlike a brain injury

If you are willing to die regardless of the pain or the length of time you will suffer, cancer is great!
If you want to slip away with less discomfort, almost any other method is better except setting yourself on fire.
Cancer came close to getting me and I would not wish that discomfort on anyone. If I had died, it would have been much worse.
Death at any cost is a bad plan.

 

[The_End_Is_Comfort]

When I hear someone is suffering from a terminal illness I feel bad for them because I feel as if they don't deserve it, I sometimes wish that I could take awat their illness for them and give it to me instead.

Also I sometimes wish I did have one because at least I would have a better reason to CTB since my death is confirmed.

It would also allow me a chance to seek out Medicial Assistance In Dying so that I can pass peacefully sooner than painfully later.

 

[Thisisme373]

I would like to have cancer as long as it's terminal. I'd not want it to be redeemable, having loads of chemo, surgery etc to fight it, I'd rather it be terminal where the hospital will give you palliative care until you pass away. I'd 100% take that right now.