do you ever wish you had cancer?

[mangomango]

i know this sounds super weird, but do any of you wish you had a terminal illness? like cancer maybe?
I have a friend with leukemia and I can't help but be envious of her. As much as I understand that cancer isn't fun, I so so envy the fact that she knows she's leaving soon and she doesn't have to ctb either.
I also really envy the fact that she doesn't have to work or participate in capitalism. She just gets to lay in bed and not be around humans.
I would love love love the comfort of a guaranteed death right now because I'm too scared to ctb.
does anyone know of any terminal illnesses I could contract that would end me, slowly over the next few months?

 

[AnxietyHangover]

This question seems to pop up here from time to time, and as I said before, cancer and the likes are the nastiest ways to go. Imagine that awful disease eating you up from the inside, making even your last moments feel like hell on earth. It's better to die in more humane ways, and I find things like heart attack and the sorts much more preferable.

 

[lionetta12]

i know this sounds super weird, but do any of you wish you had a terminal illness? like cancer maybe?
I have a friend with leukemia and I can't help but be envious of her. As much as I understand that cancer isn't fun, I so so envy the fact that she knows she's leaving soon and she doesn't have to ctb either.
I also really envy the fact that she doesn't have to work or participate in capitalism. She just gets to lay in bed and not be around humans.
I would love love love the comfort of a guaranteed death right now because I'm too scared to ctb.
does anyone know of any terminal illnesses I could contract that would end me, slowly over the next few months?

After seeing how cancer was like for all of my grandparents, I hope I never get it. It's very painful and miserable. I don't think there's any terminal illnesses that would be a good way to go.

 

[wantittoendsoon]

I unfortunately have terminal cance rand I can tell you it isn't good, you may as well light yourself on fire if you want to die this painful a death, I'm catching the bus painlessly very soon.

 

[Unending]

I agree with other posters here, it seems like an unnecessarily painful way to go and, without knowing personally what it feels like, I'd choose a specially-selected method over a disease any day.

 

[Inferno]

No, cancer is a slow and painful death. I watched my grandpa die from pancreatic cancer, it was horrible.

 

[whywere]

NO! I had gall bladder cancer and after they took the gall bladder out then the fun started, I am being sarcastic, as then came the chemo and that was HELL. Losing hair, throwing up, and could not keep food down.

Also, I had 3 folks that I knew that died from cancer. 2 from lung cancer, from smoking those damn cigarettes and 1 from pancreatic cancer. I visited all 3 when they were in hospice and even on maximum pain drugs, they were in total misery.

Of course, there is a lot of ways of moving on (dying) but cancer is not one of the choices that I would ever wish on my worst enemy ever.

Walter

No, cancer is a slow and painful death. I watched my grandpa die from pancreatic cancer, it was horrible.

I 100% agree with you whole heartedly. I had a person that I knew that died from pancreatic cancer also and watching him in his last days was hell on Earth for both him and me.

Walter

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

It's completely irrational, but I sympathize with OP. Wishing for some end to this misery.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, the only thing that I ever really wish for is to permanently not exist, I don't particularly like the sound of going through any kind of dying process. But anyway those who are dying from cancer are very fortunate and they are to be envied as they have the knowledge that they are soon to be free from this horrific world. I see beauty in knowing that and of course they are lucky as they don't have to find a way to leave themselves in this world that suicide is sadly so stigmatised.

They don't have to research methods and deal with the difficulties, risks and complications involved in suicide, and they don't have the fear of failing the method and they won't feel trapped in this world. So therefore of course for those reasons I do envy those people and your feelings are completely understandable.

 

[myownpetvirus]

I am for sure extremely jealous of people with cancer as crazy and as irrational as that sounds. Everyone surrounds you and supports you, you get whatever you want then you die

In my case, the only thing that I ever really wish for is to permanently not exist, I don't particularly like the sound of going through any kind of dying process. But anyway those who are dying from cancer are very fortunate and they are to be envied as they have the knowledge that they are soon to be free from this horrific world. I see beauty in knowing that and of course they are lucky as they don't have to find a way to leave themselves in this world that suicide is sadly so stigmatised.

They don't have to research methods and deal with the difficulties, risks and complications involved in suicide, and they don't have the fear of failing the method and they won't feel trapped in this world. So therefore of course for those reasons I do envy those people and your feelings are completely understandable.

You spilled

 

[maybemaybemaybe]

I really do. I've lost 3 relatives to cancer, including my favorite aunt who was one of the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful people I have ever known. Absolutely everyone loved her, even people who had only ever talked to her for 5 minutes. She loved her job and her family and didn't want to die at all, and the world is worse for losing her. I really, really wish it had been me instead of any of them, but especially her. I know dying of cancer is horrible and slow and painful, I've seen it, but I deserve it a lot more than she did.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Not at all. I'm already sick, I don't want to get sicker. Even if it led to my eventual death.

I would like to die naturally, but not through something as drawn-out as cancer can be.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

I know that physical illnesses are absolute hell, but as a child I would always wish I had an illness like cancer. I assume it was out of a need for attention. Now, I don't think I could take the physical pain and suffering so I'm fine with just my mental illnesses, though obviously I wish I could have an easy "out" that's more palatable for the people around me.

 

[GettingOut]

Yes, cancer is a terrible thing. Many good people who yearned to live have succumbed to a slow killer and I would have done anything in my power to swap places with them so they can live and I can die. My life just needs to end suffering is something I'm willing to take (severe chronic pain is already part of my life)

 

[Sunset Limited]

I would prefer cancer to CTB. I could say goodbye to my loved ones. I do not have the right to say goodbye to my family, as the authorities take away my right to a peaceful death.

 

[Henryk]

I think living with depression while being "healthy" is better than living with depression and having an illness that makes you feel even worse.

 

[SamTam33]

I'm already living a slow, painful death. If I don't take matters into my own hands, I have AT LEAST another 40 years on this shithole planet.

Even if cancer takes 5 years to kill me - how is that worse than FORTY?

(Hey universe! I triple dog dare you to give me cancer )

 

[blackwidow]

Absloutly fukin not

 

[LaVieEnRose]

But anyway those who are dying from cancer are very fortunate and they are to be envied as they have the knowledge that they are soon to be free from this horrific world.

Do you really think "fortunate" is the right word to describe them?

 

[Murasa]

I have seen up close how painful and arduous it is to fight these diseases, even if nothing is done it is very unlikely that cancer, however aggressive it may be, will kill you fast enough, it is a violent way to leave this world. Constant migraines affect me a lot, chronic suffering like that would end up driving me crazy.

In my case, dying from illness would only serve to avoid all the implications that suicide brings in exchange I'd suffer a lot in my last moments.

 

[Worndown]

i know this sounds super weird, but do any of you wish you had a terminal illness? like cancer maybe?
I have a friend with leukemia and I can't help but be envious of her. As much as I understand that cancer isn't fun, I so so envy the fact that she knows she's leaving soon and she doesn't have to ctb either.
I also really envy the fact that she doesn't have to work or participate in capitalism. She just gets to lay in bed and not be around humans.
I would love love love the comfort of a guaranteed death right now because I'm too scared to ctb.
does anyone know of any terminal illnesses I could contract that would end me, slowly over the next few months?

Being a survivor (so far) I refute the idea that there are any positives in this.
You may envy your friend because she is going to die. Was she looking to die before diagnosis? If not, this really sucks for her.
No, there are no terminal illnesses you can catch.
It is rather i sensitive to pursue this idea. What happens to people not looking to die should not be envied by those that do wish to die. Each is tragic in different ways.

 

[resolutory]

No, one of the reasons I want to CTB is out of fear of all the horrible ways to die there are and cancer would be one of them.

 

[Rairii]

I did as a kid but now I don't. after developing chronic physical illnesses and having to spend some time in the hospital, I don't want to deal with even more of that. I don't want to spend my last days in the hospital or some sort of medical like care in a ton of pain. I hate taking strong pain meds too, they don't make me feel good mentally. I'd rather just get it over with my own hands.

 

[wait.what]

My nephew's high school bestie came very close to dying of cancer. This young man has had the unenviable experience of having not only a near-fatal run-in with the big C, but also major depressive disorder driven by parental abuse, neglect, and abandonment.

Given a choice, the kid has since said he'd prefer cancer. I no longer remember his exact words, but something to the effect that cancer pain is considered real, with all that entails in terms of the availability of physical and emotional pain relief. By contrast, depression is treated as fake.


I've never had cancer, and am not interested in acquiring it. I do understand the desire have a version of suffering that's deemed worthy of compassion, though.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Only if it meant I could get access to euthanasia. Cancer is one of the reasons I'm here now, watching family go through it-the pain, the trauma, the hospital negligence I probably could've sued them over that made it even more painful. One of many reasons I'm so depressed.

But I do see what you mean in a way, the fact it's taken out of your hands and you have to go through it and then it's over. I still wouldn't though, unless I could make sure I was in some top hospice with the best painkillers.

 

[LookingforAnswers]

I have certainly had this thought before. I think the main reason i had it was that if my cancer was terminal at least my organs would fail and i would basically be forced to die regardless of my thoughts on it the illness would take me.

Now if we die by suicide we could still say the illness took us but idk for me that fear or trying to overcome doing it myself some days i feel i will never accomplish. Which leaves me stuck in a daily torture forever yearning for the past years. Im 32 and to think of enduring this for 30-40-50 more years is entirely frightening.

With cancer the illness would take me and i would never have to pull the plug myself.

Also cancer seems to get a lot more understanding and sympathy because it can be seen. The misunderstanding of this disease (mental illness) is one of the worst parts

 

[lonelyguy]

I pray every day for some incurable illness. I even shoveled snow for 3 1/2 hrs today hoping to have a heart attack

 

[Orange010]

My mom died from cancer, and though I didn't like her, I ask myself why it's not me instead.

 

[pyamu]

Yes - then my family could understand my wish to die.

 

[Tobacco]

Sometimes I do. It would take an immense weight from my shoulders. I know how my ctbing would traumatize my family and by dying from a terminal disease I wouldn't be responsible for my own death.