Story Do you ever tell yourself: "Maybe I had to go through this hardship in order for some good to happen at the end of it"?

[ChildrensITV]

Sometimes, my mind will resort to a coping mechanism: "Maybe I had to go through a lot of shit so that some good could happen at the end of it". But after a split-second, I realize that is categorically bullshit. There is absolutely no reason for you to have to go through trauma and hardship to learn some lesson or for a good outcome to follow.

"I had to get broken up with, to switch my life up"
"I had to lose my parents in a car crash, to make me pursue a career as a doctor"
"I had to go blind, to heighten my other senses"

All of that shit could have happened without the hardship or hardship first. And there is a difference between trauma needing to happen to give you the impulse to change, and you using the trauma as impulse to change their lives or outlook. It is often the latter. There are people who have that outlook on life without that trauma: people who have lived good lives consistently and came to be whatever you think you needed trauma to become. I am not saying that it isn't good to use trauma to propel change, but it's insane that we tell ourselves that it was necessary to propel the change. It would have been better if we had just been doing the right thing all along, or realize we needed to change without the traumatic event.

Another thing: People will tell you that you need hardship to make you stronger. No you fucking don't. So many people live easy lives with no hardship. I would prefer to be one of those than to "be strengthened" by some horrible shit happening.

Do you really think the Universe, God, the Cosmos or physics planned for you to undergo some hardship with the express desire that you would come out of it with a fresh outlook? Or do you think shit just happened to you and there was no heavenly, mystical reason for it? Sorry to break it to you but hardship didn't happen to you to learn some lesson. It happened to you simply because that's the life you were supposed to live. It was supposed to suck. Some people are on earth to have a shit life then die. Stop romanticizing it.

 

[Pluto]

I agree. I came out of my hardship thinking that there would be some sort of pay-off, but there really wasn't. I just ended up struggling to relate to most people around me, and the resulting isolation caused a whole new hardship in itself.

That said, sometimes good things come of hardship. It can lead to new levels of empathy or compassion, or a respect for justice. People can feel inspirational and connect deeply to others of a similar background. Their personalities can develop depth and humility that make sheltered people seem shallow and hollow by comparison. But this only works if someone has the means to overcome; clearly not everyone has this in their destiny - what to do with the rest of us?

 

[SilentSadness]

I never tell myself that, my hardship is completely unnecessary in my opinion and there is nothing to learn from it. It's just pointless suffering which will turn into trauma. People who undergo pain tend to become colder and crueler as well. I hope you find peace from your hardships.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

At the end of the bad times there are more bad times

 

[LookAway]

The good is when I CT... Nevermind. I'm not going to throw what potentially could be a good thread into something negative.

 

[FuneralCry]

There is no value to any kind of all suffering, the reality is that it's something that is best avoided and is something that one would had been better off without. I just think that people don't want to accept the fact that harships in life are just a worthless disadvantage so they tell themselves all kinds of coping nonsense.
I guess that this could be linked to the instinct to survive, it could make existing more bearable for people if they believed that their unnecessary struggle was meaningful. I see nothing good about existing at all, and there could never be a benefit to being here.