Discussion Do you ever have to swat away optimism?

[Deleted member 17949]

In theory optimistic feelings should be nice, but in practice they're just a problem in my eyes. The problem is that they are so hollow and are based more on hopes than any realistic scenarios that might happen. I tell myself that it's all just going to be okay somehow, as if I can just switch of all my problems and undo all my mistakes and live a great life. When I really think about it recovery doesn't seem possible. Now rather than enjoying happy thoughts I find myself feeling guilty and telling myself that it's not real.

 

[Toptock]

It's perfectly normal to still experience those moments of inspiration where you have a shimmer of positivity. I do absolutely agree that "hope" is mostly hollow and offers nothing in the way of practical possibilities, but for some it's enough.
I too have moments where I'll think "maybe this isnt so bad," only to remember that the light of hope is nothing more than a candle in the forest, sure if you push hard enough you'll find your way out, but some people's candles simply don't have enough light left.
It's ok if you think there's no solution, it's human to lose hope. Just try to keep being you, as best you can be.

 

[charizard]

yeah, it reminds me of this lyric from one my favorite songs "ill do a livestream suicide show and build a grave before this terrible feeling disappears" (rough translation)

 

[KibblesNBits]

In theory optimistic feelings should be nice, but in practice they're just a problem in my eyes. The problem is that they are so hollow and are based more on hopes than any realistic scenarios that might happen. I tell myself that it's all just going to be okay somehow, as if I can just switch of all my problems and undo all my mistakes and live a great life. When I really think about it recovery doesn't seem possible. Now rather than enjoying happy thoughts I find myself feeling guilty and telling myself that it's not real.

I'm done with all that, I think. I've held onto false hope before and everything only got worse. Never again.

 

[SpottedPanda]

I'm reminded of the phrase 'this too shall pass'.

An optimist could jump out of a bush when I'm feeling down and say "it'll get better," but it'd be just as true for a pessimist to appear when I'm feeling great and say "it'll get worse."

For me, emotions are fleeting. Feelings change, come back around, and stay for varying periods.

Right now I'm on an upswing, but it doesn't bother me, as I know I'll inevitably go back down. It's guaranteed. I don't try and fight my emotions, good or bad.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I'm reminded of the phrase 'this too shall pass'.

An optimist could jump out of a bush when I'm feeling down and say "it'll get better," but it'd be just as true for a pessimist to appear when I'm feeling great and say "it'll get worse."

For me, emotions are fleeting. Feelings change, come back around, and stay for varying periods.

Right now I'm on an upswing, but it doesn't bother me, as I know I'll inevitably go back down. It's guaranteed. I don't try and fight my emotions, good or bad.

Hits hard ngl. Every time I feel good I'm painfully aware of how temporary it is.

 

[Theresa Riot]

I feel you. I hate feeling good because it makes the certain knowledge of my next fall into the pit worse.

 

[moonchild]

@cryptic__egg My sister is very optimistic, so every time we talk I have to navigate around that. It seems she's in a good place overall, so I'm happy for her to be able to look on life like that, but I agree a lot on the difference between hope and realistic scenarios. Mainly, what looks like a realistic scenario to one person, might not be realistic at all for someone else.

However, I don't think you should feel guilty about feeling happy thoughts. I relate to it not feeling real, but you don't have to go all over to the hope-based side to enjoy the fleeting moments of happiness. They can still be good in that moment, even if you don't think they'll last long.

 

[Raminiki]

I'm a pessimist. The person I live with is an optimist. They constantly try to reassure me that things will get better, and assure me of this, that or the other, and even make bold promises of positive things to come. Every time I tell them, 'I won't believe it till it happens.' Every time it never happens. I come to resent the careless optimism. False hopes, empty promises, dead dreams. If I pop their balloon with harshly realistic judgments of a situation, they get defensive. And I end up being both correct and a villain for not believing in their flights of fancy. Sigh.

I gave up all hope long ago. Now I just prepare myself to exit when things get intolerable.

Depressed people have a more realistic view of reality, but are also prone to catastrophising. I too have felt guilty of optimistic thoughts and shoot myself down for 'idiocy'. But then... It's too easy to set oneself up to fail if one doesn't hope or believe in better. There's something awful about predicting a negative outcome and being correct. It's not good to be right about bad outcomes.

 

[giles corey]

i try not to think too far ahead. the shit that happens in your life is mostly arbitrary. i've eliminated all expectations. i definitely err on the side of pessimism, but i like to maintain a level of indifference