Do you ever feel so depressed that you can't even plan suicide?

[Placo]

Lately I've been so depressed that I can't even think about how to improve my suicide method or when to implement it or how to organize myself. Does this happen to you too or do you manage to maintain a minimum level of energy?

The fact is that then if I happen to feel better it automatically makes me think less about suicide so I find myself in the situation where I find myself thinking about it when I'm really down when in fact it's something that needs to be organized well so as not to fail.

 

[divinemistress87]

Yes, I'm to depressed to ctb. I don't have the energy to get out of bed or research. I just hope to rot away in bed

 

[thinvy]

I'm usually the opposite when I get super depressed. I either can't stop sobbing and eventually get impulsively suicidal and have to fight the urge to kill myself in a risky way that I dont actually plan to, or I get quiet and don't do anything but plan. I'll write out notes, check my stash of things, clean what I want to have cleaned before I go, check on my few people, things like that.

granted, I have been passively or actively suicidal for closer to two decades now, and my plan has become pretty rock solid in all but date and time since several months ago. I even have a few prime spots picked out. hilariously this has made me less anxiously suicidal. I can breathe a bit better bc the planning is done now.

 

[Ethernatuskoi]

I could say that I already have my method and I know how to put it into practice, but I understand how you feel, sometimes I feel like never getting out of bed and that's why I sleep for hours and hours. I hate when it dawns and I often change day for night.

I live a life without much meaning honestly, but if I want to find my true peace, I must move to put the method into practice when the time comes. I hope you can too.

 

[UKscotty]

Absolutely yes. When not so depressed it's easy to get so many methods set ready.

When depressed enough to actually CTB, hard to even focus on how to tie a knot let alone go to the effort of getting fentanyl or something.

Ironic really in a way.

 

[Placo]

With the arrival of spring I could take advantage of the fact that my mood improves a little to CTB, in fact the majority of suicides, unlike what people think, aren't in the winter months or during the Christmas period but between late spring and early summer.

 

[LostInTheWoods]

Absolutely yes, in fact I can't understand how one can be so suicidal and yet have the will to do all the researching and planning in order to CTB, I will end up doing something impulsive in a railway station on from a great high, only reading all is required to SN etc, it's too much for me, it take less sending resumes or using app to find new friends, problem is that I will find no friends and no job an do I will CTB impulsively

 

[ihavenothingleft]

Absolutely. I'm in that situation now

 

[Malaria]

Yes. I can lose energy for everything when I'm that depressed, even to the point of not even being able to get out of bed to eat or use the bathroom. So committing suicide can feel like too much effort.

 

[unabletocope]

Yes

 

[pleroman]

Yes, have to use Kratom just to get the drive to get my shit in order before suicide so it will be easier on my family. Unfortunately it makes you temporarily optimistic so I temporarily 'want to live' again until the soul-crushing emotional & physical pain and despair returns an hour or so later after barely getting any work done.

 

[UKscotty]

Hard to even get out of bed, all existence seems pointless and even waking up is hard work so with you all the way.

Depression is pure evil. The only illness that will tell us to kill ourselves.

 

[lnlybnny]

atm i'm thinking about buying sn and researching the method entirely for it to flow perfectly but i lack the energy to even do that :(

 

[theboy]

no. when i am depressed i plan to ctb anyway.

 

[yan0]

Last May I was in an emotional hole, after like 15 years of not thinking about suicide, I couldn't see any reason to keep going. I still remembered the exit bag method and so some how found my way to this forum (but I felt no need to register or write anything). Unfortunately, I was so depressed I couldn't do anything save reading. I really looked into the inertia gas method but being in an emotional hole, I had no energy to buy the necessary equipment, even now it seems a bit much for someone who is all thumbs. After a couple of months I'm by now out of the hole, but it seems to get worse again. Hopefully next time I will be prepared and don't have to go through the bottom of the hole.

 

[Meteora]

Yes!! That scares me a lot to be honest.

 

[Ulrich]

Yes. I'd like to be rational in my suicide, but at the end of the day when I'm going through a depressive episode there are too many variables to account for, entailing greater risk of failure.

 

[Heartaches]

Most of the time, really