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Placo

Placo

Life and Death
Feb 14, 2024
882
Lately I've been so depressed that I can't even think about how to improve my suicide method or when to implement it or how to organize myself. Does this happen to you too or do you manage to maintain a minimum level of energy?

The fact is that then if I happen to feel better it automatically makes me think less about suicide so I find myself in the situation where I find myself thinking about it when I'm really down when in fact it's something that needs to be organized well so as not to fail.
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Angelic
Jan 1, 2024
4,138
Yes, I'm to depressed to ctb. I don't have the energy to get out of bed or research. I just hope to rot away in bed
 
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thinvy

thinvy

Woefully Yours, Luka
Aug 7, 2023
213
I'm usually the opposite when I get super depressed. I either can't stop sobbing and eventually get impulsively suicidal and have to fight the urge to kill myself in a risky way that I dont actually plan to, or I get quiet and don't do anything but plan. I'll write out notes, check my stash of things, clean what I want to have cleaned before I go, check on my few people, things like that.

granted, I have been passively or actively suicidal for closer to two decades now, and my plan has become pretty rock solid in all but date and time since several months ago. I even have a few prime spots picked out. hilariously this has made me less anxiously suicidal. I can breathe a bit better bc the planning is done now.
 
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E

Ethernatuskoi

Trying to Recover / Leaving
Oct 24, 2023
207
I could say that I already have my method and I know how to put it into practice, but I understand how you feel, sometimes I feel like never getting out of bed and that's why I sleep for hours and hours. I hate when it dawns and I often change day for night.

I live a life without much meaning honestly, but if I want to find my true peace, I must move to put the method into practice when the time comes. I hope you can too.
 
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U

UKscotty

Doesn't read PMs
May 20, 2021
2,450
Absolutely yes. When not so depressed it's easy to get so many methods set ready.

When depressed enough to actually CTB, hard to even focus on how to tie a knot let alone go to the effort of getting fentanyl or something.

Ironic really in a way.
 
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Placo

Placo

Life and Death
Feb 14, 2024
882
With the arrival of spring I could take advantage of the fact that my mood improves a little to CTB, in fact the majority of suicides, unlike what people think, aren't in the winter months or during the Christmas period but between late spring and early summer.
 
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L

LostInTheWoods

Student
Oct 28, 2023
113
Absolutely yes, in fact I can't understand how one can be so suicidal and yet have the will to do all the researching and planning in order to CTB, I will end up doing something impulsive in a railway station on from a great high, only reading all is required to SN etc, it's too much for me, it take less sending resumes or using app to find new friends, problem is that I will find no friends and no job an do I will CTB impulsively
 
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Malaria

Malaria

If I can't be my own, I'd feel better dead
Feb 24, 2024
1,085
Yes. I can lose energy for everything when I'm that depressed, even to the point of not even being able to get out of bed to eat or use the bathroom. So committing suicide can feel like too much effort.
 
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escape_from_hell

escape_from_hell

Arcanist
Feb 22, 2024
448
Yes, have to use Kratom just to get the drive to get my shit in order before suicide so it will be easier on my family. Unfortunately it makes you temporarily optimistic so I temporarily 'want to live' again until the soul-crushing emotional & physical pain and despair returns an hour or so later after barely getting any work done.
 
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U

UKscotty

Doesn't read PMs
May 20, 2021
2,450
Hard to even get out of bed, all existence seems pointless and even waking up is hard work so with you all the way.

Depression is pure evil. The only illness that will tell us to kill ourselves.
 
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lnlybnny

lnlybnny

the art of being alone
Jan 25, 2024
547
atm i'm thinking about buying sn and researching the method entirely for it to flow perfectly but i lack the energy to even do that :(
 
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Y

yan0

New Member
Mar 13, 2024
4
Last May I was in an emotional hole, after like 15 years of not thinking about suicide, I couldn't see any reason to keep going. I still remembered the exit bag method and so some how found my way to this forum (but I felt no need to register or write anything). Unfortunately, I was so depressed I couldn't do anything save reading. I really looked into the inertia gas method but being in an emotional hole, I had no energy to buy the necessary equipment, even now it seems a bit much for someone who is all thumbs. After a couple of months I'm by now out of the hole, but it seems to get worse again. Hopefully next time I will be prepared and don't have to go through the bottom of the hole.
 
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U

Ulrich

Member
Mar 6, 2024
76
Yes. I'd like to be rational in my suicide, but at the end of the day when I'm going through a depressive episode there are too many variables to account for, entailing greater risk of failure.
 
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