Do you ever feel like you hate the people around you so much you want to ruin their lives?

[dying_kwik2000]

Please no judgement. But sometimes I get so angry I want to see the lives of my "loved ones" destroyed. I don't know why but I just want to see my mother's life in total shambles. I am not saying I will but I just have the feeling sometimes. I don't know why but I get so angry I break things and I cry and sometimes I get so emotional I numb out with alcohol. It's like the alcohol makes you less emotionally intense and you just become giddy and silly. Why am I like this?

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

No, I still feel for my family, especially my dad. My mom already divorced him for no reason after 25 years. His firstborn son killing himself at 36 would be heavy.

 

[shiftingtendons]

yes i want so bad to make my mother go through what she made me go through. i want to take revenge on all the ways she hurt me. i wanted to die to traumatize her forever, so she would never forget that she was the reason i ctb.

 

[Arvayn]

Yes, but only when I am personally attacked and treated very unjustly. It's also a desire that only exists in the heat of the moment. After I calm down, I don't care.

 

[rustcohle4life]

No, I try not to head down that road. I realize everyone is a victim of this crappy world at some point. Plus, as i find myself possibly heading towards death, i don't want to go with resentment, bitterness, or anger.

Will be very hard to do because of the absolute pieces of filthy dog poo underneath my shoe human beings that I've encountered in my life. If you can, let all that go, can't be good for your spiritual Ju Ju.

 

[Gonk]

I don't particularly have some antagonistic thoughts about my loved ones, but rather I can relate this for my collegues. I hate them how they are blissfully unaware or uncaring, that they are totally fine, having time of their lives.

But in the end, regardless of how much seeing a young couple churns my stomach, I could not stop myself from praying best for them as their happiness actually warms my hearth, when I finially able to isolate myself from seeing them. So the anger is temporary thing that fades away most of the time. I treat this as a symphton, rather than an emotion, obsession or passion I follow.

At least I know it is because of envy, jealousy. Not that I have bad intentions or I enjoy other's suffering. My only wish would be all these young people were more aware and more individualist rather than following norms.

Sounds like I am not a young man anymore in this age.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I don't have any desire to take out my anguish in involved, innocent people.

There are some people who have gravely harmed me without contrition or accountability and I have fantasized about exacting revenge.

But bad people generally aren't universally bad (not that that is absolving in any way)and there is no way to target any attempt at revenge without harming the innocent people in their lives.

For example, it's not the children's fault their mother was a loathsome cunt (at least to me).

 

[guessilldie]

No. I already know what a shit life feels like and I wouldnt want this even on my worst enemy. We are all humans. Shit just happens to some of the best and most purest people out there and the best thing to some of the most vile pieces of shits.

 

[SilentSadness]

I hate other people very much but I want to be away from them rather than ruin their lives.

 

[Arb]

I feel that way on occasion, but one thing I keep in mind is I am not my thoughts.

What you are is your actions, you decide if you act on it or not, you don't decide how you feel.

 

[dangerstars]

this is almost exactly how i feel... if anything i want to die so my parents know just how bad they fucked up lol. but there's also people i love too much to do that to them so i'm very much stuck inbetween that

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

No, because that's what my mother did to me, and none of us has that right.

 

[Forveleth]

My death will devastate my close family who are also responsible for my being here. I consider it a bonus.

 

[Pale_Rider]

No, but I normally don't want people around me either.