Discussion do you drop hints that you plan to ctb?

[BridgeJumper]

Used to casually say things like 'Hope I die in my sleep tommorrow', 'I wish I could swap places with my grandpa and get cancer myself', 'Doesnt that rope go well with my eye colour / Is that 10 kg brick I bought nice' etc
I dont do it in real life anymiore because it just pisses my family off and I already got enough of being treated like trash

 

[TAW122]

I've always made sure not to drop hints, but sadly, a bit of my CTB ideation came out in the previous month or so I had to lay low for quite some time. I have other stuff going on and I've pretty much said just about all I can say now with my topics, barring anything new coming up.

I still rather die as much as ever and that would be the end of my suffering (no more potential pleasure, but no more suffering through existence - which I am ok and happy with). As of now, I am being more careful than before and avoiding anything that could raise red flags again. I'm just hoping that when the time is right and that I have the proper alibis for having my method at home (a firearm - for target shooting, self-defense, etc.) then I would be more at ease. I was more calm in 2019 because I had direct access to my method (a firearm) when I was living away from parents' home, thus giving me a sense of peace and relief as well as the courage to take on things in life that I normally wouldn't do because at the end of the day, all it takes is one one trigger squeeze along with correct placement and proper cartridge to end my suffering.

 

[SpottedPanda]

I've always made sure not to drop hints, but sadly, a bit of my CTB ideation came out in the previous month or so I had to lay low for quite some time. I have other stuff going on and I've pretty much said just about all I can say now with my topics, barring anything new coming up.

I still rather die as much as ever and that would be the end of my suffering (no more potential pleasure, but no more suffering through existence - which I am ok and happy with). As of now, I am being more careful than before and avoiding anything that could raise red flags again. I'm just hoping that when the time is right and that I have the proper alibis for having my method at home (a firearm - for target shooting, self-defense, etc.) then I would be more at ease. I was more calm in 2019 because I had direct access to my method (a firearm) when I was living away from parents' home, thus giving me a sense of peace and relief as well as the courage to take on things in life that I normally wouldn't do because at the end of the day, all it takes is one one trigger squeeze along with correct placement and proper cartridge to end my suffering.

I do envy the right to legal firearms, for the use in suicide. Maybe I should become a UK farmer and get a shotgun, but considering my method must include ease of accessibility, I doubt that'll happen anytime soon

 

[strand]

I say jokes too. But I'm trying to stop because a relative joked about me killing myself, which was out of line and surreal to hear that from someone else. (I'm not really blaming them, it's my fault.)

 

[1DayItWillBover]

just jokes

 

[muffin222]

No. I live with family, and I'm nervous that they may become suspicious and try to monitor me

 

[DeathNoot]

Yes, I used to message a friend vague stuff. They never noticed. Now they've ghosted me... I actually left a suicide note of sorts for them in messenger already, because I knew they had me ignored. I think its been a year now? I assume they haven't read it. Hopefully if they do I'm dead cause that'd be really awkward. I know they won't tho.

 

[Varstraben]

I joke literally on anythings, so death, ctb and all others subject.
When I say something serious, everyone are looking for the joke for no reason, I can say any horror that could send me to jail that everyone take it at joke.
So maybe it's sadism, but I want to do a ctb joke on my colleague just before ctb for real, no for hurt them, but just because they takes lot of my serious comments and critic as a joke for so many years now.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

When Lockdown started I told people flat out that I wasn't going to make it. To be transparent and, I guess, to out myself, I told them my plans as they evolved. Then I realised that no one really understood me and were going out of their way to try to help me when I can't be helped. So I went from crying for help to shutting them out. I haven't talked to anyone in weeks. Most would have no way of knowing if I've done it yet. The whole situation is a mess but it's better for them not to be enmeshed with a train wreck like me, for sure!

 

[whitelacedress]

I absolutely dont mention it in any way, I dont want to worry anybody

 

[rhiino]

I tell people that I regret being born and would like to shut my brain off like a computer since years. Recently I started to tell close family I am done fighting and will leave this world soon. I want them to be prepared. I want them to know that it is not their fault and I love them more than anything. That will be the hardest part to overcome when the day comes.

 

[Bct]

I usually post about suicide on Twitter, partly to relieve my feeling, partly to spread the other side of suicide to people. Maybe not the right word, but I can't think what's the right word to convey it, LOL. But I'll never reveal my exact plan and won't tell people about my CTB when the day comes, except on some delayed messages.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

I know it is weird but I also do this. I do this like you said to secretly mentally prepare others and also I just wish someone could see my pain and say i'm sorry you feel this way. It's not about being stopped, it's about having validation - Something that my family never gave me.
I will say things like "Well you will find me with a belt around my neck." or "This belt looks good to hang myself with." (That's my CTB plan)
I've told my therapist that I plan on killing myself and she did validate my feelings and then deemed me as low risk which I found hilarious because I have a history of attempts.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Not any more dont want to bring attention to how my mind is working

 

[marcusuk63]

I sent a link to my younger brother to how much my house is worth , i got it on an Endowment mortgage (interest only) it`s finished in a year and i`ll have to pay £28k that i haven't got because endowment policies turned out to be not worth the paper they where written on ..... any way i`m CTB before the 24th and he said we`ll sort something out , even if it means me buying it for the £28k ..... little does he know that i sent the link so he knows how much he can get when he sells it as i`ve left it and everything else i have left to him , so he should get a nice windfall of £50k ish ...

 

[losthope123]

I'll talk in such a way that would imply I have strongly thought about it. Either my "friends" are dumber than I thought or they just simply don't care. I believe it is the latter. I wish they would care, but the more they don't the more motivated I am to just get life over with and ctb.