Do you cut?

[MiMif]

I was just wondering cause I was on a gore site and saw a....very disturbing cutting video that I can't get out of my head and the comment section was saying how disgusting cutting was.

So wondering how many people here do. I personally do and I have scars everywhere...though I couldn't bring myself to do what the person in the video did...they like cut through the meat to the bone down the length of their arm. I wanna vomit just thinking about it.

But yeah anyway do you and if so why? I do it as a way to show my mental struggles to myself. Like to show myself that they are very real no matter how much I or anyone else tries to tell me it's all in my head. As other people who are hurting usually can show it outwardly with physical pain. Cutting is my way of doing it with my mental pain that no one sees.

It's not for other people but for me as I used to convince myself that I was faking being suicidal

 

[Forever Sleep]

No, I'm really squeamish but I understand the mindset behind it. The closest I've got to self harm is hitting myself. More often than not, out of intense frustration. If I happen to hurt myself by accident though, there's a part of me that just kind of resonates with the pain. I'm guessing that it's a form of expressing/ releasing pain for people.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

I used to, but at some point I didn't feel the need to show my pain physically. It didn't matter what others thought and I knew how I felt inside even without proof.

Now I focus on more goal oriented stuff instead. If self-harm is entertainment then suicide planning is productivity. Probably a fucked up metaphor, but that's how I think about it. Self-harm's very theatrical, but doesn't get anything done.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, never, just the thought of such a thing is horrifying to me. There is already enough suffering in being trapped in the flesh prison that is the human body without that.

 

[mortuarymary]

Used to in my teens, 20s and 30s.

 

[hexd]

i still do, not as often but it used to help nullify the pain

 

[raytodeath]

I used to a lot. Now i just smoke shit loads of cigs in a row instead when i feel the need.

 

[ceilng_tile]

I do it because I want to. I'm not afraid of scars. I don't see them as any different than tattoos, as long as they don't contract to the point of limiting my functionality. I know how deep to cut and where to cut safely. Most of the time I do it in areas that are easy to hide but sometimes I don't care about that. People already know I'm depressed, so they might as well see the evidence.

Sometimes it helps me focus. Sometimes it helps me feel better. Sometimes it doesn't do much of anything. Sometimes it just satisfies a self-destructive urge in a way that has fewer long-term repercussions than many other forms of self-destruction.

 

[Reuthry]

I used to do it, quite deeply actually. But now it doesn't help me in any type of way, and I feel too lazy to go and cut. I instead started to search about my ctb method I spend nearly all the hours I am awake for research.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No, I never did. I want to suffer less, not more

 

[winamp]

currently no (51 days free) but I used to

it's kind of difficult if you have another bad way of
coping with things besides that and it just turns

into a cycle of "it could always be worse !" or "at least it isn't [insert other bad coping mechanism]"

 

[illvoid]

I only stopped recently, and I have no intention to keep it that way. I know its unhealthy, but I started as a preteen and never learned to regulate my emotions otherwise.

 

[FujoshiNeet]

I cut when I have certain types of meltdowns. Those meltdowns only happen every few years. But man I cut deep. The scars are scary and gnarly looking.

 

[beaten96]

Naah. Self harm was never anything i cared about.. never really got it.. my intense feelings leave me screaming at the top of my lungs sometimes.. or cussing a mofo out.. but i never got into self harm.. i know where to channel my anger.. that's just beating around the bush.. i get it if you for real tried to kill yourself and you have scars.. because failure rate on slitting wrists is kinda high.. god.. could you imagine doctors in here looking at us conspire against them.. having all these stats and all this info.. being super informed helping each other get the job done for real because they are fucking failures.. and entires giant place of their complete and utter failures shoved in their face.. id love to shove this in a few doctors and therapists face alright.. show them how insignificant and how little they know it really is.. just how up against the wall they really are.. but I wouldn't sell my fellow sufferers out..

my years of therapy and psych and the rest. Given i am in law and im smart enough i guess. It's just made me into a human weapon against them and their completely deluded crocks of shit.. even if failed another attempt.. they better be too scared of me legally to cross another line ever again.. by the way, that's the way to really get around them.. get informed on law.. be scary back..

any method i choose now.. i just dont want to end up with brain damage is all.. i want it done.. over and quick out..

Self harm is just a mean to an end. A valid one but it is.. its kind of.. shit or get off the pot.. i dont judge you.. but the doctors do.. you'll probably get a borderline diagnosis.. self harm and cutting is very very high in bpd.. you're hard pressed to find a bpd without loads of self harm scars.. almost every bpd ever has a body covered in self inflicted scarring.. which is fine. I dont judge or care.. but others do..

dont listen to them. But if you're hanging on for a while.. or youre new to self harm.. spare yourself the bias people will have towards you.. really all of their labels are fucking retarded and mean nothing to me.. because they have no idea what they're even talking about.. not really.. they just make it up as they go along mostly.. short of a ted bundy type.. they really dont have a handle on being definitive of what's wrong with anybody.. then again i dont rank doctors or shrinks much higher than ted bundy.. think of all the people the ignorance of doctors has killed.. doctors and medicine are trash..

anyways.. do yourself a favor.. shit or get off the pot..

 

[heroinhero]

Yeah, i have been cutting for about half a year i think. Never did it too deep (i am pretty sure just the second layer of skin or "styrofoam") i physically recoil when i hear people talk about "getting beans", certainly not to a point that affects my physical or mental health or anything. I just do it to numb myself, to feel something, to relieve tension from flashbacks, to have an outlet for hatred of my body due to gender dysphoria and anorexia, to replace heroin, or for no reason at all. Its not really as emotional as people think, my face is completely espressionless while im doing it and im usually in a dissociative state.

 

[notherenotnow]

Not as much as in the past, so only once every few days/weeks.

 

[MiMif]

Not as much as in the past, so only once every few days/weeks.

I cut them wait for it to completely heal before going again

 

[notherenotnow]

I cut them wait for it to completely heal before going again

Yeah, me too. It's more comfortable this way

 

[throneofdispair03]

I do. It makes me feel stuff instead of just meh and I deserve it.

 

[almondmilk]

i do it everyday

 

[Abyssal]

Sounds scary and I dont like blood

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Many years ago when I was a teen I did.

 

[pilotviolin]

yeah, i've been trying to stop and i've been mostly successful and out of the daily cycle of it but sometimes i slip.

 

[logi3535]

i used to cut into my arm with a custom letter opener because i was hesitant to use a knife, i don't do it anymore but the wounds are still there

 

[dantescorpse]

i used to for years, but i dont anymore. i havent cut myself since last june. at my worst i was cutting multiple times a day. i originally started because of my gender dysphoria n my depression, but eventually it stopped doing anything for me. i would cut myself n feel nothing afterwards. it kinda felt like i was performing a ritual in a way, but not a good one. it just seemed pointless, so i stopped. i started experimenting with drugs shortly after, so i basically replaced cutting with that. it works a lot better for me, but drug addiction runs on both sides of my family, so that might be a factor in that.

 

[latuecat]

Yes; I do it with glass because I started with that and it became a habit, although I know its not a great idea. It's a little comforting. I feel like I have control over what happens to me, for once. The physical pain takes away my mental torture. However, I would never do what was you described the video contained... way too hard to hide - my parents/classmates would fine out in 24 hours, especially since we have uniforms with short sleeves. Also, it sounds really gruesome and scary. I just don't need to skin myself to feel the relief of cutting.

 

[HemlockWizard]

I do and have been self harming in a variety of ways since I was 12 (currently 27). There's many reasons why I cut specifically, but mostly I do it to stop an emotional spiral or meltdown. When the people around me overwhelm me, it's a way to instantly regain control of my emotions. I've always enjoyed the act though. The physical pain takes me out of my emotional pain. The numbness afterward is comforting. I enjoy watching myself bleed. I wish there was more success in ctb through this method otherwise it truly would be my top pick. For me cutting has become an addiction. I don't care to find a better coping mechanism. Nothing else feels good and the scars don't bother me. I struggle with gender dysphoria and ptsd from childhood abuse, so I was thankful to simply find relief from my daily torture. I survived this long because of cutting. I've learned to not be ashamed of how I have survived. I'm also tired of surviving. Life should be about living it, not survival. I know there will be peace when I ctb.

 

[SilentSuicidal]

I used to do it every day but after awhile my self harm urges have dwindled. I miss it though, the blood and adrenaline. I'm not seeking it as often as before, but when I do it's just small stuff compared to months ago

 

[jellyobit]

I stopped cutting when I started bruising myself I grab heavy things especially if they have a handle (those trendy Stanley cups are great) and bruise above the elbow. Just keep layering them and it's truly the best feeling during and after I rather enjoy the colors and the pain in putting shirt on etc.

 

[MiMif]

I stopped cutting when I started bruising myself I grab heavy things especially if they have a handle (those trendy Stanley cups are great) and bruise above the elbow. Just keep layering them and it's truly the best feeling during and after I rather enjoy the colors and the pain in putting shirt on etc.

Ow......gosh that must really hurt. I mean if that's what you like you do you...but isn't it hard to function throughout the day with constant bruises?