do you believe you will ever find someone that loves you?

[Notabadguy]

Of course, stop looking for physically attractive people.

 

[DoNotLet2]

Of course, stop looking for physically attractive people.

What do you mean?

 

[Shinbu]

Finding love wouldn't solve anything for me.

 

[selfhater]

i'm extremely insecure "ugly" and the low self esteem and how much i hate myself, my boring personality, being mentally ill...etc won't allow me to get into relationships even if i got someone loves me it makes me so hurt and sad

 

[Philosykos]

No, I'm pretty sure I won't. First of all, there's my being transgender which diminishes the size of one's dating pool to microscopic dimensions. Of those willing to date a trans person, most are chasers, a small part will only do so if the trans person passes 110% and is hotter than most cis people of the sex they're transitioning to and a teeny tiny amount of people who would be willing to date a trans person or could even feel attracted to one don't care. But they are extremely rare.

Now if the trans thing was my only issue, I might be more optimistic, but it doesn't stop there. I have way too much emotional baggage, I wouldn't want to burden anyone else with all that crap. Plus I'm way too much of a dreamer and far too sensitive when I do finally open up to someone. I want the big fairytale romance, I want what Oliver & Elio had, that connection between two souls that found each other. I make it a point not to allow myself to feel too much for anyone or anything, but when someone manages to get past that wall, I feel with extreme intensity and that scares me. I'm not open towards other people and new experiences so even if there was someone interested in me, I'd probably not go through with it for their sake.

 

[Hiraeth]

i thought i did but the whole time they loved someone else. thats how it always is though i guess

 

[HelensNepenthe]

I wish. I was on a road to recovery with someone special. They emotionally cheated on me. It has been a spiral. I'm lost. My dysphoria hits me hard -- yet I'm still identifying as a cis bi male living in a very conservative state.

No, I'm pretty sure I won't. First of all, there's my being transgender which diminishes the size of one's dating pool to microscopic dimensions. Of those willing to date a trans person, most are chasers, a small part will only do so if the trans person passes 110% and is hotter than most cis people of the sex they're transitioning to and a teeny tiny amount of people who would be willing to date a trans person or could even feel attracted to one don't care. But they are extremely rare.

Now if the trans thing was my only issue, I might be more optimistic, but it doesn't stop there. I have way too much emotional baggage, I wouldn't want to burden anyone else with all that crap. Plus I'm way too much of a dreamer and far too sensitive when I do finally open up to someone. I want the big fairytale romance, I want what Oliver & Elio had, that connection between two souls that found each other. I make it a point not to allow myself to feel too much for anyone or anything, but when someone manages to get past that wall, I feel with extreme intensity and that scares me. I'm not open towards other people and new experiences so even if there was someone interested in me, I'd probably not go through with it for their sake.

Call Me By Your Name was a great film. One of the best gay films I've watched in the last couple years.

 

[Meowkin]

I'm past the point of believing. I simply don't care anymore.

 

[Philosykos]

Call Me By Your Name was a great film. One of the best gay films I've watched in the last couple years.

If you haven't already, I'd recommend reading the novel. It's not necessary as the film is actually one of the best book adaptations I've seen in film in a long, long while (hence the Oscar for best adapted screenplay probably) but it's really cool to get that tiny bit more insight into Elio's inner world. I loved him a lot from the film alone, but after reading the novel, he's become my favourite fictional character of all time. That's probably because I empathise with him very deeply and I can see a lot of myself in him, so maybe that's a stupid reason. But if you're looking for something to pass the time or get some distraction and you like reading, it's absolutely worth it.

 

[enjolras]

Of course, stop looking for physically attractive people.

You're a killer. Pragmatic or idealistic ?!




The opinion of me.


Possibly loveable, but for that, I'd need to go out, which happens every leap year.

However, given the context, I fear to find somebody who doesn't commit to stay. To be debated

 

[Ghassane]

If i got a love relationship with somebody I'd definitely want to kill my self faster and harder than ever when i realise how much i missed when ppl were out there having fun i was crying on the tv also in a million years won't happen so i never give it more thinking wether it would save my life for a little time or not coz in both cases I'll take my life anyway also I'm Ctbing soon so fuck it

 

[Good4Nothing]

No. I want to believe...
But I'm running out of time...

 

[blalost]

What do you mean?

That a lot of the people in this thread have impossibly high standards when it comes to looks, and that is an important reason that they never found "love".

 

[My_name_is_Luka]

The ones who said they loved me were the ones who were the fastest to ghost the moment something went wrong

That's so true! It happened to me as well. More than once some people tried to enter my life by using the words "I love you", or "how is it possible that you are still single?". When I allowed them, they took away a piece of my health with all their lies and they have led me to the point where I am now.
Often people want to love for desperation for something that went very wrong with their life and they are not honest enough to give you a hint about which kind of problem they carry, either psychological or health. It can take a day, a month, or more to get involved in the same problem.

 

[EraseRewind]

I have people who love me, a wife and family. I know they love me as they have stuck around even when my drinking behaviour led to criminality and suicide attempts. My problem is I don't love me and that self hate rules and ruins my life.

 

[Notabadguy]

You're a killer. Pragmatic or idealistic ?!

View attachment 36502


The opinion of me.
View attachment 36501

Possibly loveable, but for that, I'd need to go out, which happens every leap year.

However, given the context, I fear to find somebody who doesn't commit to stay. To be debated

More idealistic than pragmatic, I'm not saying that I'm completely cosequent, but at least one should have ideas to try to follow.

 

[nerve]

Probably not. People love things about me, but the whole package is just too much.

I'm kind of okay with it. I love people-watching & learning about folks, but I don't think I'll ever meet one I like enough to desire "love" from. It's just one more neat thing about life I don't get to have for whatever reason.

 

[Eurus]

I'm not sure,I know as things stand my perception of love is extremely skewed

 

[AlreadyGone]

At this point, no.

 

[whitetea]

No. I don't think love is for some people as harsh as that may sound. And I'm just one of those people.

 

[NotSoComfortablyNumb]

Almost 30yo and I feel so lonely and miserable. Maybe I was meant to die alone. I feel like there's nothing that could possible make my suicide thoughts go away.

I'm 28 and I feel this in my soul!

 

[raindrops]

I honestly had the best kind of love you could imagine, well maybe it's not everyone's cup of tea but it was like a love film. I have this memory of us, we're 16 the weather was warm, we went to the zoo, it was so sweet, afterwards it was so hot we ran into the sea together, fully clothed, kissing, cuddling in the sea...
I have so many amazing memories with that person, I'm so sure it will never be the same again. It hurts so much.

 

[Bct]

Doubt I could find her. I've already experienced countless unrequited love, so most of the faults are likely on me. I have standards but that doesn't mean I can't fall in love with someone that doesn't check some of the boxes, but the results were still same with me being a broken heart man.

At this point, I don't think I'm worthy of love, especially with being suicidal and some bad deeds I've done in the past.

 

[terry_a_davis]

I did several times and messed it up.

 

[madbananas]

Almost 30yo and I feel so lonely and miserable. Maybe I was meant to die alone. I feel like there's nothing that could possible make my suicide thoughts go away.

Not mutual love. I have problems connecting with people, the two times it has happened it ended in heartbreak. The first one was years and years ago and I still love the person, not so much romantically any more, but they're still very much in my heart space. The second one, I'm going through it currently which has been impacted heavily by external circumstances. It's like I've basically been banned from experiencing love in this life.

I'm sorry you feel so alone and miserable (I do too). I also feel like I'm meant to die alone, and hopefully I'll die sooner rather than later. Wish I didn't have survival instinct.

 

[MsMaudlin]

Nope, 'Unloveable' as Morrissey sang ❤

 

[esoragoto]

That a lot of the people in this thread have impossibly high standards when it comes to looks, and that is an important reason that they never found "love".

I think lowering your standards and trying to fall for someone you're not attracted to (either physically or emotionally) can come with its own interesting set of tragedies...just much further down the road. Broken families, innocent children feeling the brunt of parents' mistakes, the cycle repeating itself once more...and so on.

Not saying it always happens, and in the end, this place being what it is, of course I'm inclined to look at things in a pessimistic light. But I'm not sure telling people to just suck it up and just go fall in love with whoever really helps in the long run.

 

[TheRaul95]

A wise man once said, death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.

 

[DeathNoot]

I hope not, because I suck and they don't deserve to have to put up with me lol

 

[GravityUtilizer]

That a lot of the people in this thread have impossibly high standards when it comes to looks, and that is an important reason that they never found "love".

I think lowering your standards and trying to fall for someone you're not attracted to (either physically or emotionally) can come with its own interesting set of tragedies...just much further down the road. Broken families, innocent children feeling the brunt of parents' mistakes, the cycle repeating itself once more...and so on.

Not saying it always happens, and in the end, this place being what it is, of course I'm inclined to look at things in a pessimistic light. But I'm not sure telling people to just suck it up and just go fall in love with whoever really helps in the long run.

I think these are both interesting points. I know from myself looking back on my youth (at 35) I wasted a lot of energy trying to punch above my weight when I probably missed opportunities with people who I still found attractive, just not as much as others. But what can you do? The heart wants what it wants.

Stupid heart.