There are many different types of love, and many different ways of demonstrating those types, leading to millions of combinations of base feelings, combined with varied demonstration, combined with people's interpretation of the two previous steps...
At some point or other, we all will have encountered people that love us in one way or other. However it's not always registered as such, as because it wasn't shown in a way that you recognise or accept, you might not have noticed along the way. Many state that people
say they love them, but don't show it, so it can't be true...
What I'm trying (badly) to say is that are many different permeations, and many of us are only open to specific kinds, feeling unfulfilled when we don't get the type we feel is sufficient.
Love is subjective, the perception and acceptance of it is down to the receiver. Some people go through life actively repelling it as a defence mechanism against rejection or abandonment and whether it's consciously or subconsciously, the result is the same.
People are flawed; selfish, misguided, stupid. They don't do things properly, and yes some really are incapable of showing real love to those around them due to bitterness and hate. If someone is surrounded by a black cloud, nobody wants to get near for fear of being struck by lightning. The trick to seeing love around you is to offer it out without expecting it back in exactly the same form (
they aren't YOU!) as you are giving. It helps to be able to accept it in as many of its mutated variations as you can, not allowing your emotions to be controlled by the actions of anyone else but yourself.
My mother abandoned me when I was very young. My father resentfully brought me up with heavy hands and unkind words. For a long time (and still sometimes now when I'm low) I believed that if my own parents, who chose to bring me into the world, didn't give a crap about me, then I had no chance at being loved. I took it everywhere with me, pushing away anyone who got close, and was thoroughly depressed and lonely for a very long time...
It was only when I had a child that I realised that giving love unconditionally to this little helpless person was all I needed to get perspective. I gave that child all the love I never got and felt better for it! Don't get me wrong, he jabs out at me and breaks my heart from time to time, but being the adult that must be the bigger person and not let these things compromise the strength of that love has taught me a lot, to be more forgiving of stuff that initially comes across as
downright evil lol it's generally not personal, even if it seems that way - people's unkind actions always say a lot more about them than you.
This has turned into a bit of an essay that I think some people might disagree with but in my mind, when you concentrate on
giving love (not being taken for a mug mind you; you can maintain strong, healthy boundaries and still be loving and kind!) and being reasonable, logical and unflappable, it will eventually come. Usually when you're not looking so hard for it.
Not meaning any offence when I say this so I really hope that nobody is hurt by it, for I was once like this too: Bitterness is distasteful, which is why people hesitate to bite.
Much love to those who feel unloved - I understand, and I love you
