• Hey Guest,

    We will never comply with any of OFCOM's demands or any other nations censorious demands for that matter. We will only follow the laws of the land of which our server is located, which is the US.

    Any demands for censorship or requests to comply with the law outside of the US will be promptly ignored.

    No foreign laws or pressure will make us comply with anti-censorship laws and we will protect the speech of our members, regardless of where they might live in the world. If that means being blocked in the UK, so be it. We would advise that any UK member gets a VPN to browse the site, or use TOR.

    However, today, we stand up these these governments that want to bully or censor this website.

    Fuck OFCOM, and fuck any media organization or group that think it's cool or fun to stalk or bully people that suffering in this world.

    Edit: We also wanted to address the veiled threats made against a staff member in the UK by the BBC in the news today. We are undeterred by any threats, intimination, by the BBC or by any other groups dedicated to doxxing and harassing our staff and members. Journalists from the BBC, CTV, Kansas Star, Daily Mail and many other outlets have continuiously ignored the fact that many of the people that they're interviewing (such as @leelfc84 on Twitter/X) and propping up are the same people posting addresses of staff members and our founders on social media. We show them proof of this and they ignore it and don't address it.They're all just as evil as each other, and should be treated accordingly. They do not care about the safety of our staff members, founders, or administrators, or even members, so why would they care about you?

    Now that we have your attention, journalists, will you ever address this? You've given these evil people interviews, and free press.

lacrimosa

lacrimosa

Student
Jul 1, 2024
183
Yes, I keep saying I am going to CTB basically 3/4ths of my waking life. It's like a mantra that keeps me calm. Knowing it will be over soon. But, I am haunted by life and can't go back in time and do things differently.

So, I am stuck, feeling sorry for myself as I am too afraid of the collateral damage of CTB. I am stuck in this shitty limbo. I care too much when I am manic and wish I could turn off my feelings. And when I am feeling depressed, I am so low that I could sleep for days and days.
 
  • Like
Reactions: pthnrdnojvsc, heavyeyes, divinemistress36 and 1 other person
Nephy

Nephy

I was only temporarily…
Jul 17, 2024
41
Most of the day.. I only can escape while sleeping .. I only can sleep with some pills
 
  • Like
Reactions: heavyeyes
C

circus22

Member
Jul 11, 2024
8
Yes, I'm always planning it in my head and it drives me crazy knowing I can't do it yet.
 
  • Like
Reactions: heavyeyes, divinemistress36 and Roseblanche
Dark Moon

Dark Moon

Wizard
Sep 21, 2022
686
Not all the time but daily frequently. I want to exit but uncertain because of the lack of options and ramifications of a failed attempt.
 
  • Like
Reactions: heavyeyes and glitteryaliens
R

Roseblanche

Member
Jul 20, 2024
10
From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep that's the one constant thing I keep on thinking about
I keep on playing scenarios in my head of my last day here, what I'll say to my friends, what I'll say to my Mom.. I really need to order some SN and quick.
My birthday is in 3 days and this is my last year here, so I wanna make the most of it at least how I can..
When my last day will come I'll probably rent some hotel room, take hella drugs and chill out, waiting patiently for the SN to kick in and fall to an endless sleep 💤
I think about it constantly and it makes me feel guilty when I'm with my loved ones because I think about it despite their presence🥹
I am looking for the best accessible method to free myself definitively and no longer think about anything🙏🏼
 
divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Visionary
Jan 1, 2024
2,583
I always think about it hard to concentrate on anything else
 
Sarros

Sarros

Member
Sep 2, 2021
89
It's not always on the forefront of my mind but it always lurks beneath the surface.
 
S

stupidhuman

Member
Apr 18, 2024
56
Yes, I keep saying I am going to CTB basically 3/4ths of my waking life. It's like a mantra that keeps me calm. Knowing it will be over soon. But, I am haunted by life and can't go back in time and do things differently.

So, I am stuck, feeling sorry for myself as I am too afraid of the collateral damage of CTB. I am stuck in this shitty limbo. I care too much when I am manic and wish I could turn off my feelings. And when I am feeling depressed, I am so low that I could sleep for days and days.
Calling it something mantra like is very spot on for me. Thanks for opening my eyes.
It's more than just copying every day it feels like I ingrain/calibrate my brain more into CTB up to the point it's a perfect forever condition. Just because I've mantra-ed it enough of times (daily, for years).
I hope the day comes where I finally move my useless ass into the right direction and do it. I'm overstaying way too much. What's holding me back doing it today ?
Do I really want it ? Is it just pure stupid easy mental cope because there's no other way for my brain to naturally cope to the challenges of life and in reality I'm too afraid to do it ?
If that's the case then my brain is utterly GPT1 Demo version or something.
Just useless for survival, meant to die off but because of modern society I don't have to hunt. life should be fucking easy for me what's up with me ?
I get angry at myself but what's the point I need an external trigger to finally take the correct steps and do it already.

I realize I started to vent and I apologize for that. I don't even know what I am hoping for answering all these questions and being on this forum because deep down I know what I deserve and what I should do ASAP. I don't even know how to end my comment here I'll just click on reply …
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: divinemistress36
FrownyFace

FrownyFace

Member
May 15, 2024
19
I like to pretend I'm in a fantasy world all day to distract myself from everything but not a day goes by without thinking of it. It's horrible.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: divinemistress36
H

HelpDoesNotExist

Member
Jul 10, 2024
40
Unless I'm drunk or high enough to actually enjoy daydreaming but my parents keep taking that ability away, taking my bank card and ID and stuff, like it matters if I destroy my body after I've lost everything
 
sos

sos

Experienced
Jul 22, 2024
264
i guess that i'm lucky when i say that i don't think about it all the time

i have these weird moments where i get motivated and keep myself busy with things that i could dream of (basically everything related to the future)

even tho ive pretty much given up on life already by sorting everything out for my death

and there are still moments during the day where i actively keep myself busy w catching the bus
 
Minsu

Minsu

♀️🏳️‍🌈
Jan 17, 2023
543
It's in the back of my head 24/7, even when I sleep bc I keep having suicide dreams pretty often. It's both exhausting and freeing at the same time
 
Balloon ANIMAL🎈🪅

Balloon ANIMAL🎈🪅

BALLOON ANIMAL
Jul 22, 2024
13
From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep that's the one constant thing I keep on thinking about
I keep on playing scenarios in my head of my last day here, what I'll say to my friends, what I'll say to my Mom.. I really need to order some SN and quick.
My birthday is in 3 days and this is my last year here, so I wanna make the most of it at least how I can..
When my last day will come I'll probably rent some hotel room, take hella drugs and chill out, waiting patiently for the SN to kick in and fall to an endless sleep 💤
SAME! It's like the only way I can cope with the day. Just constantly thinking and researching how I'm going to do it and all the things I need to get in order to make it easier on anyone who it will effect.